


all's fair in love and war

by loonaloves



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Royalty AU, i dont feel like revealing too much in my tags so, knight!jungeun, n e ways enjoy!, princess!jinsoul, side characters haseul kahei jiwoo hyunjin sooyoung yerim, theres fluff too, this took 2 months so thats why i havent updated bad liar lmao im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 47,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loonaloves/pseuds/loonaloves
Summary: The village in which Jinsoul is born into royalty is preparing for war. Jungeun, Jinsoul's knight, is always ready to fight for her.





	all's fair in love and war

It was almost time for war. Everybody in the village knew it, the ominous feeling thickening the air day by day. Jinsoul was good about it at first. She never complained to her parents or asked why the people were frightened. But she could only preserve curiosity for so long before it slipped from the tip of her tongue.

"Mother," she called, lifting her dress to be careful of tripping on the silky material. She was almost running down the stairs, knowing her mother would be on the lowest floor, in the room where she could work, in the hallway opposite of the one containing the knights' and maids' bedrooms. Her mother always worked so late at night, she thought she did her best work then. The door was already open when Jinsoul slid herself through it. "Mom."

"Yes?" her mother responded, still looking down at the sword she was crafting. She was good with her hands, could turn meaningless objects into large and dangerous weapons. It was possibly because she was a nerd, for lack of better words; she had always been fascinated by engineering, science, and math. She was the smartest person Jinsoul knew.

Jinsoul stood a fair distance away from her mother, careful not to interfere with her work. She held her own hands behind her back, looking out the window quickly and back at her mother. "Do you... do you know why we're going into battle?"

Her mother abruptly stopped for a moment, only discernible if you studied her movements hard enough. She continued working as if nothing had happened and licked her lips in thought of a response. "In another village, there have been attacks on our family. Trying to... destruct our image, our royalty. Your father had sent the men to fight them, but they are stronger. Our men are dying, my sweet daughter... war is the only viable choice. We must do what we have to."

"How are they trying to take away our image?" Jinsoul asked.

Her mother sighed and shook her head. "It isn't something for you to know."

"Mom, are you forgetting that I am an adult? I'm twenty-two now, not twelve." Jinsoul crossed her arms across her chest.

"Jinsoul. I cannot explain. You should go to your room, it's late," her mother advised. She put the sword down and turned to face Jinsoul. "You must stay strong for a little while, okay?"

Jinsoul wasn't sure what that was supposed to mean, but she nodded anyway. Her lips shut tight, she left the room wordlessly. She marched up the stairs and went to her bedroom, turning off any lights she left on. Her hand reached for her folded nightgown that she always kept on her nightstand, despite her parents always disciplining her and scolding her that she had a wardrobe room for a reason. She folded the fancier dress she stripped herself from as neatly as she could and put it next to her side. She knew the maid would take care of it if she had just left it messily at the door of her room, but she trudged to the wardrobe anyway and left it there. She entered her bedroom again, making sure she's taken care of everything and made the servants' jobs a little easier.

She slipped beneath her blankets and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to overcome her. She turned on her side and let a deep sigh leave her parted lips, her body and mind still hopelessly awake.

She opened her eyes, now facing the window, with its curtains wide open and exposing the moonlit garden to Jinsoul. If she looked hard enough and focused in the far distance, she could slightly make out all the trees in the woods. She thought about how lonely those woods were, how isolated they were.

"Jinsoul."

Jinsoul sat up immediately in her bed and stared wide-eyed at the woman at her door frame. "Jungeun?" Jinsoul asked, hands placed on the bed at either side of her, keeping herself up. "What are you doing?"

Jungeun leaned her head against the wall. "Sent to make sure you were sleeping."

"What? Why? What's going on?" Jinsoul questioned, throwing the blankets off of her and charging towards the door, but Jungeun wouldn't let her leave. Why did Jungeun check, her knight, instead of Jinsoul's servant? Jungeun placed a hand on Jinsoul's chest and held her still. "Jungeun—"

Jinsoul wasn't exactly expecting her knight to be here at this time of night, but maybe she just always was, and every other time she was asleep. Jungeun was first recruited when Jinsoul was sixteen, but they have known each other as acquaintances long before that. Jungeun doesn't have royal blood, but her family had a long history with the village, every one of them serving for the royal family in some way, even dating back to the first family.

Jungeun at first was timid and soft-spoken. She had only started talking to Jinsoul in a way that didn't feel awkward when it was her second year serving. Typically, the firstborn sons in their families would be the ones to knight, but Jungeun was the only child; her mother didn't get a chance to have another kid before she passed of the illness that spread all those years ago. It didn't affect Jungeun much, she barely had any memories of her mother. Jungeun would be the first female knight in a while that served, in terms of the Kim family. But dare Jinsoul say that the female knights, at most times, handled situations much better than the male ones. The men were stronger and more fierce fighters, but the women were intelligent and thought through things well.

Jungeun was held dearly in Jinsoul's heart as the years progressed. She was always there for Jinsoul, even at the slightest of problems. When she did as little as to scrape her knee, her dear knight would be the one to bandage and heal her. She was smart. She knew things that Jinsoul couldn't fathom. Jungeun was good with words, she knew what to say and how to say it. She knew how to make events fall into her hands. When she was sworn into the kingdom, she promised to Jinsoul that her protection was her first priority. Jinsoul didn't understand why all the other knights and maids rambled on about how perfect Jungeun was to be Jinsoul's knight at first, but now she understood. They told her about how much she trained. Even Jinsoul saw, how when Jungeun was as young as seven, practicing her stances and fighting skills. She got her first sword when she was ten, a present that her now-deceased mother promised to give Jungeun when she reached double digits.

Jungeun would always carry it around with her, though it was heavier than she thought it would be. She was strong, though, and she was quick to catch on, with the help of training and practice. She knew that one day she would serve for the royal family— for their daughter, Jinsoul. At the time, they've never exchanged more than a hello and a curtsy, but one day, they'd be in that castle together. Jungeun smiled each time she passed it, and she wondered if that princess saw her each time she strolled by. The training grounds were held in the acres of the castle, and Jungeun had been training there for many years. Now, she trained alongside the official knights, the men and women who worked hard to earn their places. She stood a little straighter each time practice came around again, more and more confident with her abilities.

"Did your parents tell you about the war?" Jungeun asked, holding onto Jinsoul's arms.

"Huh? Oh, well— I— I already know. They won't tell me the reason, though," Jinsoul stammered. She frowned at the feeling of Jungeun's calloused and cut palms on her skin. She felt so bad. Jungeun always worked so hard to ensure Jinsoul's safety. It was endearing. But it was also the mandatory work of a knight, Jinsoul reminded herself.

"Hm. It's the Jeon family. They believe your family isn't holding up to their responsibilities. They've started a protest and now many are joining. It's a shame, really, but..." Jungeun trailed off.

"Why are they upset with my family? What are they planning to do?" Jinsoul inquired.

Jungeun paused for a moment, hesitation even flashing in her eyes. "They... they want to make your parents mad. Make them 'take responsibility' by doing... doing horrible things."

"Like?" Jinsoul couldn't help but ask.

Jungeun sighed, "Your highness."

"Don't call me that," Jinsoul groaned. "That's like if I started referring to you as my knight in shining armor." She smiled.

"Jinsoul," Jungeun tried again. "They are not planning anything good, okay? It is best for you to be oblivious to some parts." Jungeun smiled reassuringly at Jinsoul. "You should probably go to sleep though... Tomorrow is the last dinner before battle. Word is that it will be grand. You shouldn't miss it."

"Of course," Jinsoul agreed with a nod. "I'll see you then." And as if the conversation has eased each nerve of Jinsoul's that set on fire, she went to sleep easily and peacefully.

\---

"Your majesty," a deep voice called with a knock on the door. "The king would like to see you."

Jinsoul slowly sat up and rested her palms on her eyes, not opening them until the voice called for her again. "Give me a second, I'm— dressing," she lied.

"Very well then. He expects you to meet him in the throne room. Have a good day, your majesty." Jinsoul could hear him leave by the sound of his footsteps making their way through the hallway. She pushed herself out of bed, against the voice in her head telling her that she should sleep for five more minutes, and left her room and made her way to the one with her wardrobe.

She chose the simplest shirt and pants she could find, knowing that later today she would be changing into a large gown for the meal anyway. She placed her feet into a pair of slippers (her parents hated when she walked barefoot) and left to the throne room to greet her father, who needed her for whatever reason.

"You needed me?" Jinsoul asked when she pushed the large door open, welcoming herself into the room. The ceiling was raised high and each wall was tan, wonderfully sculpted columns stood from the floor to the ceiling at each corner of the room. Red curtains were hung at each large window with chains of gold wrapped around their middle, allowing the bright daylight to illuminate the room. She could hear her footsteps echo as she walked towards her father, standing at the farthest wall from Jinsoul.

"You're a bit late," he announced. "But I can forgive that." He kept his arms crossed behind his back, even as Jinsoul stood right in front of him. "You have heard the news, I assume."

"Of course," Jinsoul confirmed.

"Good. I don't have to explain it, then." He started walking to the thrones that stood against the wall. He looked shorter when he sat in his. Jinsoul couldn't sit down even if she wanted to, her mother would kill her if she sat in the throne before crowned the queen. She stood before her father and watched as he disapprovingly eyed her up and down.

"What?" Jinsoul asked.

"Your outfit," he simply answered. "You are a princess, you know. Not a common townsfolk."

Jinsoul rolled her eyes. "Even then, this blouse is at least half of their yearly income. Not that it matters, though." It was hard reminding herself to stay humble sometimes. Contrastingly, her father cared not of what escaped his mouth. He had never thought before he talked. The people would eat up anything he said anyway. "Really, though, what was I called for? You interrupted my sleep, you know."

He scoffed and laughed at the same time. "Would you like me to apologize?" he joked, by the look on his face. He cleared his throat and continued more seriously, "Jinsoul. Your title matters to us. One day, you will be the ruler of this castle. Your mother and I wanted you to, at the dinner tonight, act like you are the royalty that you are. You talk to people below your class so easily. Do not tell them to call you by your name, Jinsoul. You must acknowledge your place and the superiority that you hold; the royal blood you were born into is not just a decoration. Not all the time will you be treated with respect. But being a princess grants you much more than being... Jinsoul would."

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Jinsoul crossed her arms.

The king sighed, "You just aren't getting it, are you?"

Jinsoul shook her head, knitting her brows.

"Never mind, then. But Jinsoul. Trust that your parents know best." He stared directly into her eyes. "We want you to let people talk to you like they are talking to the princess— not some newfound friend."

Jinsoul felt the words go through one ear and out the other. She muttered her acceptance and turned to leave the room.

"Oh," her father said again as her hand touched the doorknob. "And please, would you change into some clothes that fit your title?"

Jinsoul didn't reply as she pulled the door to exit the room. Though she's learned by now to oblige to other's wishes, she didn't want to follow her father's request. She held onto the railing as she walked down the stairs to reach the kitchen, where at least six maids were diligently cooking breakfast. Jinsoul hummed contentedly at the scent of sweet bread and some kind of meat, as well as other things she couldn't exactly decipher.

"Good morning, Princess Jinsoul," a maid greeted with a large smile.

"To you too, Jiwoo." Jinsoul knew most of the royal staff's names, something she took much pride in. She loved getting to know each person who so kindly blesses her family with their assistance. She leaned on the counter, watching them work. "Happen to need help?"

"Oh, by no means. We've got plenty now. You're such a sweetheart for offering," Jiwoo cooed. Jinsoul smiled from ear to ear.

"You all work so hard, that's all. I was just making sure you were all set." Jinsoul leaned her head in a bit to get a better look of the cooking scene. "Smells amazing, by the way."

"Ah, thank you," Jiwoo laughed as she dusted the flour off her hands. "We've made more than enough for your parents and you!"

Jinsoul fought a big smile and placed a hand on her heart. "You're too sweet. Maybe the knights can have some breakfast too... they've been working hard, they need lots of food."

"Should we make something for them?" Jiwoo asked.

"I'm sure there'll be enough for them after my family gets our share," Jinsoul assured.

Jiwoo smiled at that and resumed her work. Jinsoul filled a glass with water, placing the cup on the counter when it was deemed full enough. When she turned around, she jumped by the person already standing there.

"Haseul," she let out in a breath. "You frightened me!"

"I apologize," she said with a laugh. "I could've gotten you that cup, no need to work yourself."

Jinsoul shrugged. "Not working myself too hard. It takes only a minute, anyway." She was grateful that her servant, Haseul, was always looking out for her. She hoped that Haseul gets enough rest after taking such well care of her. She took a sip of her water as Haseul opened her mouth to speak.

"Would you like me to grab you a dress to change into?" she offered.

"Oh, no need for that— I'm all set," Jinsoul denied.

"You're sure? Are you going outside, by chance, then?"

Jinsoul thought about it for a second and drank her last sip of water, placing the glass in the sink. "Yes, actually." It wasn't the plan, but Jinsoul decided to now that Haseul mentioned it. "You can stay in if you want. It's hot out."

She left for the exit that lead her outside and walked around the outside walls of the castle until she heard the clanking of metal, accompanied by the occasional grunt or thud to the grass. She smiled once she reached the training area, watching the fighting from afar. All the knights forewent their armor in training sessions, swords held tight in their glove-clad fists. Most men wore white shirts, their shirts sticking tight to their skin, their hair damp and foreheads shining with beads of sweat. They fought hard to claim victory against their opponent, faces scrunched in focus. Jinsoul's eyes scanned across the knights until they landed on the brave one she was looking for, smiling once she found her.

Jungeun was breathing heavily, Jinsoul could see from where she stood. She held her sword in a clamped fist so tight that it turned her knuckles white. She was determined to claim victory against the man she fought. She wore a blouse that looked exactly like the one Jinsoul wore now— fuck, Jinsoul must've accidentally taken it at some point, then— and her pants hugged her legs tight, letting Jinsoul see each muscle that flexed as Jungeun lunged towards the male. She watched how her hair flew behind her each time she dodged one of his sword's strikes, watched how her body looked when she was ducked down like that. Her face was coated in a layer of sweat, eyes stuck on her opponent and determination written in them. She gasped when Jungeun smirked, thrusting her sword forward to swing at his own. They used all their force to bring the other's weapon down and hopefully out of their hand, but they were both unrelenting.

She watched how Jungeun's face twisted as she put more force into her fight, arm shaking now. His mouth opened at the sudden change and his sword fell from his hand, dropping to the ground. Jungeun smiled smugly in her victory, unknowingly causing Jinsoul to suck in her bottom lip between her teeth. Jinsoul held onto her sleeves tight, needing something to grasp onto. She used her forearm to wipe sweat from her forehead, shaking hair out of her face. She held a hand out to the man who lost to her, shaking it once. It looked like she said something like "good game". Jinsoul smiled dreamily as Jungeun placed her sword back into its sheath and walked over to her water bottle to get a drink.

"Jinsoul!" Haseul exclaimed loudly, causing Jinsoul's head to turn immediately, and probably every knight's too, as well. Her face flushed in a bright shade of pink at the realization. "Breakfast!" Haseul was nearly out of breath as she ran up to Jinsoul. Jinsoul nodded and followed Haseul inside.

Jinsoul sat next to her mother, her plate already made and beautiful. It smelled even better up close, and she immediately grabbed her fork and stabbed into a piece of the soft bread, glazed with something that looked really sticky, and on the inside, swirls of what Jinsoul assumed to be some kind of cinnamon-sugar concoction. It was soft and airy, not dense or too thick for Jinsoul's liking, either. She smiled up at the maids, but they were too focused on cleaning the kitchen up already. She looked back down at her plate and ate other foods that the plate offered. Fruits, proteins, and some fried potato-like thing, Jinsoul liked it all— she wasn't exactly a picky eater, anyway. Her mother eyed her at the way her plate was already almost clean despite her having arrived at the table no more than fifteen minutes ago.

"Jinsoul," the queen whispered harshly. "Use your napkin. And your table manners!" She tapped twice on the unused napkin laying beside her plate. Jinsoul nodded and wiped her mouth, noticing the glaze from the bread that must have gotten on her chin. She looked back up at her mom, who was still looking at her odd until Jinsoul figured it out and sat up straight.

Jinsoul eyed the large amount of food still waiting to be eaten on the table, but she remembered that the knights have yet to eat today. "I'm gonna go to my room," Jinsoul declared. Before her parents would reject that, she got up quickly, thanking the maids for the meal and making her way to the grand hallway, containing the doors to most of the servants', knights', and maids' rooms as Haseul took care of her plate.

Jinsoul was walking calmly, smiling as she reached the door she was looking for, advancing towards it.

"Get back here, Jinsoul!" she heard her father exclaim, his heavy footsteps coming closer and closer. Quickly, she threw the door open and shoved herself in, shutting it behind her and holding it with her back. She looked down at her feet on the carpet. Suddenly, her eyes went wide as she processed what she did that must have ticked her father off. She gulped as she prepared for a verbal beating.

"Your slippers! Why are they dirty?! And dragging filth all over the floor!" the king continued. Jinsoul looked at the room she threw herself in. At least it was Jungeun's, like she knew it would be, and not someone she didn't know that well. The room was messier than her own, but cleaner than it was the last time she had seen it. She jumped when the door opened behind her. A yelp escaped her throat and she fell to the carpet before picking herself back up to her feet.

Her father stared at the carpet, a little bit of dirt covering places of it. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jinsoul, I love you dearly. But please. Stop. Making. Messes. Everywhere. You. Go," he punctuated each word. Jinsoul nodded. "Haseul! Clean the mess, please?" he yelled over to Jinsoul's servant.

Haseul immediately came over with cleaning materials, and Jinsoul sat on the bed with a frown on her face. "Sorry..." she apologized as Haseul cleaned away the mess.

Haseul sighed, "It's alright. Give me your slippers, I'll go get you new ones." Jinsoul did as told and waited patiently for Haseul to return, thanking her once she brought the new pair.

"Not sure what I'd do without you, Haseul," Jinsoul admitted through a smile. She put them on one at a time and let her feet touch the carpet, while still sitting on Jungeun's bed. She leaned back, closing her eyes and letting her mind swirl with thoughts of how good she looked at practice today. Jungeun always reigned victory, it was no surprise she won today when Jinsoul was watching. Jinsoul remembered the way Jungeun's brows scrunched in determination, lips pursed, feet glued to the ground. She remembered how effortlessly good she looked, even when surrounded by the knights any woman would fall for. But Jinsoul never could see what they all saw in those men; maybe she would be able to if her eyes weren't always on the lady sworn to her protection.

She turned her head to the side and breathed in the scent of Jungeun's sheets, they smelled exactly like her— and god, that's probably so creepy for Jinsoul to think. It's probably creepy to be sniffing someone's bedsheets to begin with, though. She was sure that Jungeun never wore perfume, she just had a naturally pleasant aroma. It was always like that with her, though. Jungeun never had to try to be perfect or good at anything, she just was. Jinsoul smiled, wishing she could be so gifted and perfect in the ways Jungeun was.

"The mess is clean, Jinsoul. If you would like to leave the room now, you may," Haseul informed. Jinsoul sat up instantly and nodded.

"I'll be right out," she promised. Haseul threw a smile Jinsoul's way and left to return to whatever duties she had to complete. Jinsoul sighed, loud in her own ears because of how quiet the room felt. She stood up and walked slowly away from the bed, moving to see the scattered pile of objects Jungeun left on her bureau. Mostly gloves, postcards (though Jinsoul was wary of how she could've gotten them), and dark-colored hair ties. The light caught on one of the items, though, its surface reflecting the luminescence and almost blinding Jinsoul. Curiously, she took the jewelry into her hand, holding it in her palm. She observed the necklace, its thin chain feeling ice cold on her skin. There was a small gemstone on the chain, a milky white, bordered in the same gold as the chain was.

"Princess?" Jungeun called, unsure, causing Jinsoul to almost jump five feet into the air. She quickly put the necklace back on top of Jungeun's bureau.

"J-Jungeun!" Jinsoul replied loudly, eyes wide as saucers. There was absolutely no way to explain why the hell she was in her knight's room.

Jungeun waited a moment for any explanation before sighing, shutting her eyes tight for a split second. "How'd... how'd you know where my room was?" she asked.

"Um. I, well, heh..." Jinsoul laughed weakly as she scratched the back of her neck, feeling as though she'll start sweating soon. Did someone turn the temperature up? Jinsoul pulled at the collar of her shirt, unable to meet Jungeun's eyes. "I— can't answer that."

"...For... personal, reasons?" Jungeun assumed. Jinsoul shook her head in denial.

"No, no, for, um— I'm the royal princess, why should you be questioning me?" Jinsoul asked, eyebrows furrowed and standing taller.

Jungeun raised her hands in surrender. "Alright," she complied. She stepped past Jinsoul to grab a rag from the small table in front of her window, using it to pat at the sweat on her forehead. Jinsoul stared at her back, at the sweat collecting at the nape of Jungeun's neck. Her eyes followed her body down, admiring the way she could see slightly through the white blouse and see the way her pants held onto her figure tight. How her waist looked so small, like Jinsoul could wrap one arm around it perfectly snug. She looked at how strong yet feminine she looked, admiring the woman in every way. She looked at the floor once Jungeun turned to look back at Jinsoul.

"Are you looking for something?" Jungeun asked, hands gripping the end of her bed frame as she leaned against her mattress.

"No, I was just seeing what was in here," Jinsoul told the partial truth. She herself didn't even know why she went to go here anymore.

Jungeun raised a questioning eyebrow at her before laughing and looking down at the carpet, then back up at Jinsoul. "You're wearing my shirt, though."

Fucking— oh, this could _not_ have gone worse, what the fuck. What... the fuck. Jinsoul tried so hard to prevent the blood rush she felt coming to her face from appearing. She didn't want to sport a cherry-red head full of embarrassment. She cleared her throat and looked down at the shirt. "This, uh, it was actually in my wardrobe, believe it or not..." Jinsoul told the complete truth, at least.

"Uh-huh," Jungeun laughed, not totally convinced. "How'd it happen to end up there?"

"I..." Jinsoul began, mouth opening and closing hopelessly like a fish out of water. Jungeun chuckled, moving up to tousle the flustered princess's hair. "I'm not even kidding, it was actually in there! Ask Haseul!"

"Haseul put it in there?"

"No!" Jinsoul denied, then scrunched her eyebrows a bit in thought. "I— don't think so? Maybe I accidentally stole it one day or something... but I swear to god, I didn't come in here to steal a fucking _shirt_."

"Did you come in here to steal my necklace, then?" Jungeun joked, and Jinsoul's face felt embarrassingly red, heat crawling up her neck.

"Y-you're one to talk! Remember when you stole my dress!" Jinsoul defended.

Jungeun's face went a light shade of pink, but not to the extent of Jinsoul's. It was probably only because Jungeun was laughing so hard, anyway. "That was for the gala! I don't have any dresses, no one ever buys me them! I'm a knight!"

Jinsoul laughed too, now, and felt her face slowly return to its normal shade. She looked at Jungeun's face with a small smile. "Have you eaten yet?"

Jungeun groaned, "Not allowed. The king told us we can't be having large meals because we need to stay in shape... You know, in case we're recruited for war."

"You won't have to worry about it," Jinsoul said. "My dad wouldn't recruit you, he thinks the men are much stronger."

"Huh? Why? I can beat all of them with my bare hands without breaking a nail," Jungeun bragged. "Who is he to say I'm not strong enough because I'm a girl?"

"He didn't say _that_..." Jinsoul retorted.

"He implied it." Jungeun shrugged. "Oh well. I didn't want to risk my life in some battle anyway."

"I can't tell if that was genuine or sarcastic," Jinsoul replied.

"Either or," Jungeun answered. She plopped down onto her mattress, looking straight up at the ceiling.

"Hm. Are you going to the dinner tonight, though?" Jinsoul asked. "Even if my dad said no large meals?"

"Yeah, of course," Jungeun confirmed. "Just won't eat a ton."

"Ah," Jinsoul emitted in understanding, nodding her head. "It'll be your first time in the dining room since it's been redecorated, then." The room was filled with a comfortable silence for a minute.

Jungeun sat up and brushed her hair back, pushing strands out of her face. She glanced at Jinsoul for a second before looking down at her blouse and making work of her fingers to unbutton it. Jinsoul widened her eyes, despite having Jungeun as her knight for many years now, she had to keep her modesty. She turned and gave Jungeun privacy, ears hot and probably burning red.

"Can you get me a tee? It's in the top drawer of the bureau," Jungeun asked. Jinsoul nodded, opening the drawer and taking hold of a black shirt, the first tee she could find. Turning to give Jungeun the shirt, Jinsoul held her arm out for Jungeun to take it, not wanting to spare even one step closer to the topless girl. She blushed even more furiously when Jungeun muttered her thanks, deep and grumbly. Jinsoul kept her sight down at her slippers, swaying from one foot to the other as she heard Jungeun's pants unzip. She gulped and her hand reached back to grab onto a knob of Jungeun's drawers, needing to stabilize herself.

"Pants... second drawer," Jungeun directed. Jinsoul didn't even bring her eyes up, just continued looking at her feet as her hand scrambled for a pair of pants— whichever one she could first grab onto. She threw it in Jungeun's direction, knowing she'd catch it anyway. She closed the drawer slowly and used her other hand to cover her face, shutting her eyes tight, wondering if she was embarrassing herself.

"Oh, come on, Jinsoul," Jungeun laughed. "Never seen a woman without clothes before?"

Jinsoul felt herself gasp for air. "I-I'm saving my modesty, thank you very much!" She balled her fists at her sides but made no move to look up. She heard Jungeun laugh again and Jinsoul only looked up when she heard Jungeun stand up. Jinsoul exhaled slowly, waiting for her heated skin to cool.

"Is that your choice? Or your parents' direction?" Jungeun inquired with a smile. When the hell did this girl get so smug?!

"It's— royal tradition," she sighed quickly when Jungeun reached forward and grabbed one of Jinsoul's hands. She could die right here, that's how anxious Jinsoul felt.

"Hm," Jungeun hummed in acknowledgment. She used the hand that wasn't in Jinsoul's to press against the underside of the princess's chin and raise it so that they were making eye contact. "Why are you so shy today? Saw something?"

Jinsoul shook her head no. "You're just extra cocky today!"

"Ah... that's why you came to watch me at practice, hm?" Jungeun smirked.

Jinsoul held in a sort of yelp that she almost let out at the fact that Jungeun knew Jinsoul was watching her. "I—"

Jungeun laughed and took a step away from Jinsoul. "I have duties to attend," she said, changing the subject coolly, as if they had been discussing the weather. "I'll see you soon. Tell me if you need anything, Jinsoul." Before she left, she grabbed the necklace Jinsoul was so focused on earlier, stretching out her arms to wrap it around Jinsoul's neck wordlessly. She stepped away and smiled, meeting Jinsoul's eyes with glee dancing in hers.

Like that, she left the room, holding the clothes she changed herself out of and bringing them to what Jinsoul assumed would be the laundry room. She sighed, back meeting Jungeun's bureau and almost knocking everything off of it. She held her head in her hands, still cooling down from Jungeun's teasing. She shook her head, shaking off any feelings, and walked out of Jungeun's bedroom, closing her door for her. She wouldn't want to leave it wide open while every other door is closed, the maids would get bothered.

She walked up the stairs that would lead her to the hallway where her family and she resided. On that floor are the rooms only the royal family can go into. People in the castle of a lesser title may be allowed in the hallway, but never to walk past the door frames. Jinsoul opened her bedroom door and didn't bother to shut it behind her, eyes moving towards the clock above her bed to determine the time; as well as how much time she had left before the dinner. Of course, they hadn't even had lunch yet, but Jinsoul typically doesn't eat lunch on days where a grand dinner will be served. The maids make great meals, and she always wants the openest stomach before eating a feast that they worked the hardest on. Especially since this is the last feast for some of the knights before going off to war, the foods will most likely be of a wide selection and, Jinsoul hopes, offer many desserts.

The knights being chosen for war would be announced at dinner over the last drink. Most likely it will be the king announcing them, but Jinsoul couldn't tell that as a fact yet. Their village hasn't gone into war for a while; the last time she remembers anything like this happening was when she was ten, when the great plague was spreading. Her father assumed it had been the people of the town next to them that had brought the disease, and after many disputes and arguments, he declared war. Jinsoul wasn't too sure of what was happening back then. The dinner when the king announced who would be recruited for battle was grand, but Jinsoul was still scared. She didn't know who in the room might have carried the plague. She stayed close to her mom the entire time, even when everyone was supposed to gather for cheers to properly goodbye the knights. That night she couldn't go to sleep. She cried thinking about how her village would fall into anarchy, worried for the knights. The next morning, her mother wanted to clear Jinsoul's head. She took her outside, not far from the castle— she would've feared getting Jinsoul sick— and brought her to the knights' training ground.

_"This is where the knights trained. The strong ones protecting us in war," her mother informed with a soft smile, squeezing Jinsoul's tiny hand in her own. "They fought hard every day to protect us, Jinsoul. This is their job. It's what they want to do. Save us."_

_Jinsoul nodded, staring at the large field. It was part of the many acres of the castle's ground, but Jinsoul hadn't explored much yet. This was new to her. There were a few young knights training at that moment, their grass-stained pants and boots that traveled to their mid-calves. She looked at the one with dark brown hair, her hair short— probably a little above her shoulders. Her tee was dirty, which was a shame, really, since the shirt was the brightest white. Her jeans were a light blue, and Jinsoul wondered how she could even train in denim. It must've been uncomfortable._

_"These knights here, the ones you see now," her mother started, "are the ones who will enter the next war. Whenever that may be. They work hard now, to protect us later."_

_Jinsoul nodded wordlessly once again, eyes still fixed on the young knight without a sword. Slowly, her hand fell out of her mother's as she walked closer to the fields, wanting a better look. She held onto a tree that half her body was hidden behind, seeing the few knights a little better now. The girl looked up to her, face rendering recognition for a quick second before familiarizing that the princess was staring at her. Her mouth was parted slightly, probably not expecting royalty to be watching her. Raising her hand, she waved it to the princess, blushing when the princess waved back._

_Jinsoul smiled at the young knight, her hands toying with the fabric of her dress. The man that was training the girl looked back, seeing what could have been distracting the knight-in-training. His eyes widened for a second when he saw Jinsoul, head flying around until he saw her supervision, the queen, standing in the distance as well._

_"Pr-Princess!" he exclaimed, clapping his hands together as he jogged towards her. The girl followed close behind him. "What are you doing here?"_

_Jinsoul opened her mouth and looked behind her at her mother, who just smiled at her, then back to the man. "Uh, I— my mother— err, the queen, she... she brought me here. To see." She looked down at her feet when she saw that the girl knight was staring at her._

_"Well. It's great to see you, your highness." The man bowed._

_"Oh, that's— very formal," Jinsoul responded to his statement and the action. The girl behind him bowed slightly as well._

_"Princess," she said. "Y-your highness, I'm honored to meet you." Her voice was shaky, nervous to be in the princess's presence._

_"Thank you. What's your name?" Jinsoul asked._

_Jungeun's jaw dropped slightly open, knowing the princess wanted to know her more personally than just knowing she was a knight. "Jungeun," she answered quickly. "My name is Jungeun."_

_Jinsoul smiled. "Nice to meet you, Jungeun." Jinsoul felt someone right behind her, wrapping an arm onto her waist. Jinsoul didn't need to look back to know it was her mother. Her mom kissed the top of Jinsoul's head and combed through her hair with her fingers._

_"Thank you for your time," the queen said with a smile. "But I'm afraid we'll have to get going now..."_

_"Of course," the man agreed and bowed again, Jungeun following suit. "It is— such, an honor, to meet you. You have a lovely family."_

_"Thank you," the queen laughed. She bowed slightly as her farewell and brought Jinsoul back to the castle._

_"Wow, Mom, I can't believe! There's a knight and she... she's so... nice!" Jinsoul squealed. "Jungeun, her name's Jungeun."_

_"Mm," her mother hummed. "She sounds amazing, Jinsoul." Jinsoul giggled girlishly at that. "Who knows? Maybe one day, she'll be your knight."_

_"Woah," Jinsoul emitted._

Jinsoul smiled as she laid on her bed, face smushed into her pillow. She had to stop lingering on the memories before they made her blush. Especially if she got on to the one where Jungeun was sworn into being Jinsoul's knight. Or that one dinner where they sat next to each other, the one when Jungeun stole a dress of Jinsoul's. Or—

"Dinner is in two hours!" a maid yelled from down the stairs. It was astonishing how loud they could yell in order to get the message across to the people of the castle. Jinsoul turned around, hands intertwined and palms resting on her stomach. She stared at her doorway, knowing that someone was coming up by the sound of their footsteps.

"You missed lunch," Haseul sighed when she got to the door frame. She laughed breathlessly when Jinsoul sat up straight at that.

"Really?! It's been that long!?" Jinsoul asked incredulously. She must have lost track of time.

"Yes," Haseul confirmed. "Jesus— how do you never get out of breath when you climb these stairs?"

Jinsoul laughed, "I only have those ones to climb, most of the time. You have two other flights to walk up on top of that."

Haseul nodded. "Yep." She looked down the hall. "Your family up here?"

"Um..." Jinsoul thought for a second. "Maybe? Did you see them anywhere else?"

"No." Haseul readjusted herself so that she was leaning on the door frame now.

"Do you reckon I go look for them?" Jinsoul suggested.

"Hm. If you want. I was just curious. I don't serve them, anyways. Only you," Haseul pointed out.

"Okay," Jinsoul said as she stood up. "Well, you got me curious now, too. I'll go find them."

"Alright, then. I'll be helping with the dining room, if you need me."

Jinsoul nodded and left to her father's room, peeking in to see if anyone was there. She did the same to her mother's room, not really expecting to find them there anyway. They normally weren't in their rooms unless they were sleeping. They did lots of work around the castle, despite having plentiful servants and maids to do so for them. But some jobs could only be done by royalty. She continued down the hall until she heard chatter behind one of the doors. It was the armor and weaponry room, where they kept the unused shields, swords, and suits.

"...you sure?...knight...what would...without..." Jinsoul could barely make out what the woman was saying.

"I suppose...about...or him?" Jinsoul scrunched her eyebrows, knowing that that wasn't her mother's voice she was hearing. And now that she thought about it, the other woman definitely sounded too young to be her mother as well! Jinsoul organized her thoughts for a moment, then deciding to open the doors and see what was going on herself.

As quietly as she could, she opened one of the doors just enough for her to be able to see through an open sliver she created. There stood an elderly woman that she couldn't recognize and one of the younger female knights, who Jinsoul is pretty sure still in training. Most likely younger than her, in that case. So why would there be any need for someone so young and unknowledgeable to be in here? And why the hell was a knight-in-training in this room to begin with?! Something like that is strictly prohibited, it's a known fact that the highest floor's rooms are only to be entered by royalty. For lower classes to be in here was... shocking, really. Jinsoul gulped down the growing lump of worry in her throat.

"It's either that or nothing," the older lady said in a hushed voice. "The king is deciding today. You must make the choice."

The knight looked at her for a minute, then down at her feet. She itched the back of her neck and looked back up at the older woman. Jinsoul couldn't help but to note the scab on her cheek, it looked fresh— like she hadn't had it for a very long time yet. Her knuckles were purple and bruised, and she looked tired, like she hasn't slept in a day. She was taller than the woman by a few inches, but she still looked cowardly beneath her stare. One of her hands went through her dark hair, black like charcoal, combing her fingers through until it got to her ends, which stopped at her mid-back. She looked back at the woman and Jinsoul could hear the way she heavily sighed.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do, Miss Kim." The younger girl brushed her hair behind her ear and took a step away from the older woman. The female knight looked towards the door, and as quick as she could, nerves on high alert, Jinsoul threw herself towards the wall and lightly placed her back against it, scared to breathe too loud. She could hear her heart beating in her ears.

She heard them wrapping it up, something about making sure to not leave any traces, and Jinsoul could have broken into a nervous sweat. She licked her lips, heart thudding against her chest, and ran as fast as she could down the hallway back to her bedroom, mind a mess. She prayed they couldn't see her, that they miraculously didn't hear her, that they didn't notice she was there at all. Goddamnit, what was Jinsoul to do now?! What could she do with this information?! She feared that if she sent it to her mother or father, she would get in trouble for snooping or the women would seek revenge on Jinsoul. She placed both hands on her chest, as if it would calm her feverish heart, back against her bedroom door as she locked herself inside. She let her head fall back, leaning until it collided with the door, her neck bobbing up and down more visibly this way with her heavy heaving.

She stood there for what felt like forever, until glancing at her clock again. She had one hour to get ready for dinner. She wiped her forehead in case any sweat was there.

Jinsoul nearly jumped out of her own skin when she felt two knocks against the wooden door her back leaned against. Collecting her breath, she opened the door and smiled convincingly at Haseul.

"Haseul," Jinsoul greeted.

"Just up here to remind you that you have to go downstairs to the fitting and styling room soon. And by soon I mean now," Haseul informed.

Jinsoul mouthed an 'oh' and nodded once. They must have been waiting for Jinsoul for forever down there! Quickly moving past Haseul to walk down the stairs, Jinsoul hoped that the stylists would be forgiving. "Thanks!" she shouted as she stepped quickly down each step. Haseul chuckled from the top of the stairs, muttering something like 'this kid'.

Jinsoul approached her fitting room, knowing the stylists would already be in there, waiting for her. Once they heard the sound of the door opening, they each looked up at Jinsoul, faces brightening now that she was there.

"Look who decided to show up!" Kahei said with a grin. Jinsoul rolled her eyes and laughed, ducking when Kahei caught Jinsoul and tousled her hair like she was a little kid. Jinsoul giggled, shoving Kahei lightly away, looking up at her through squinted eyes due to a smile.

"Sorry I was late, I lost track of time," Jinsoul apologized.

"No need to explain, we would have waited for you no matter what," Yerim said and smiled. Jinsoul bowed slightly to them in appreciation nonetheless, thankful that they weren't upset with her. Jinsoul turned towards the dress that the mannequin in the center of the room wore. It was silky and blush pink, nearly transparent and glittery sleeves embroidered with patterns of flowers. It had a long train that followed it, and it looked quite form-fitting.

"Is that my dress?" Jinsoul asked, eyes wide at its beauty.

Kahei laughed, "No, sweetheart. This was one of the options for your mother. I spent a while on it, but you should see the one I made for you..." Kahei smiled like she was hiding the greatest thing. She pointed a finger out to Jinsoul to wordlessly tell her to give her one second, and the next second she was off behind the curtain that separated the main room from the dressing room.

The next minute, Kahei was back with a dark blue ball gown cradled in her arms, signaling Jinsoul to come to the dressing room so that Kahei can help her change into the outfit. Jinsoul nodded and smiled excitedly, waiting to see how she looked in her dress. Kahei closed the curtain behind Jinsoul once she entered the area. Kahei was a professional, she knew exactly what she was doing, and everything she made was beautiful. Jinsoul had no doubt that the dress would look stunning.

"Alright, take off those clothes so I can get you changed into these, Princess," Kahei instructed while placing the dress gently on the table in the room. While Jinsoul undressed, Kahei brought over the shoes that Jinsoul would be wearing with the dress. When Kahei returned, Jinsoul was ready to be styled.

Kahei directed Jinsoul to raise her arms above her head so that Kahei could slip the dress on her. Jinsoul was always easy to work with and Kahei appreciated that greatly. She hummed when the dress was on Jinsoul, standing back a bit and thinking for a moment. She made a few adjustments, fixed the waist of the gown, and made sure everything looked perfect; then, she stepped back, holding her hands tight in hope that Jinsoul would like it. She smiled expectantly and scanned Jinsoul's body one last time.

"Go ahead and look in the mirror for me," Kahei insisted, grabbing onto Jinsoul's shoulders and turning her until she faced the mirror. Jinsoul giggled until she was turned fully, gasping when she saw the dark blue gown, not too big or poofy (in regards to her complaints about giant dresses— Kahei is really a great listener). The lace at the top of her shoulders added maturity, while the diamonds at the neckline added a sparkle that caught the light at the right angle. The dress stopped just above the ankle, making room to show off the heels that Kahei has yet to put on Jinsoul. Jinsoul smiled and turned her head to Kahei.

"It's stunning, Kahei! Ah! I don't understand how you can be so talented!" Jinsoul wailed, hitting Kahei on the shoulder. Kahei giggled and thanked Jinsoul.

"I'll give you the heels once Yerim is finished with your hair. The less time you have to spend in those shoes, the better." Kahei walked towards her jewelry compartment, opening a small drawer and collecting them in her hands. She returned and hooked shiny, diamond pieces of jewelry around her neck, rings on her fingers, small earrings to bring more attention to her face. Not that her face could ever be outshined, though.

Jinsoul thanked Kahei once again before heading back to Yerim's half of the room. She was already set up for Jinsoul, a chair waiting to be sat in in front of the vanity. Hair took at most twenty minutes— Yerim didn't want to do too much with it. She didn't want Jinsoul to look like too much today. She kept Jinsoul's hair down, straightened locks cascading down past her shoulders. She smiled down at Jinsoul and patted her shoulder.

"I think you're good to go, your highness!" Yerim exclaimed with a great smile on her face, giving Jinsoul's shoulders a tight squeeze before letting her stand up. "Kahei's got your shoes. Once those get on, you have to hurry up to the dining room. Dinner is starting in ten!"

Jinsoul's eyes widened as she nodded obediently, running to get her heels, the same color as her dress, and quickly shouting another thanks to her stylists. She made her way to the dining room as fast as she could, feet aching by the time she entered through its doors.

"Jinsoul," her mother cooed when she saw her daughter, all dolled up and so gorgeous. "Oh, my beautiful baby~ When did you decide to grow up on me?" Her mom wrapped her arms around Jinsoul, her hand cradling her head, probably messing up Yerim's work to some extent.

Jinsoul laughed and wrapped her mom in her embrace as well. "Thanks, Mom," Jinsoul murmured against her mom's shoulders. "You don't look too bad yourself." Jinsoul looked up when her father coughed, said man standing beside her mother now.

"I like the dress, Jinsoul," her father complimented. Jinsoul shot him a smile and thanked him, telling him that really, it was Kahei's hard work and handmade beauty, she was just the model.

"Kahei is a talented woman," the queen agreed. "I knew from the moment she made me her first dress that she would be the stylist to keep." Jinsoul nodded and looked at her two parents. She wondered how they fell in love, since she knows they are. But their marriage was arranged. Jinsoul couldn't see how she would be able to fall in love with someone that her family picked for her, unless if it was by magical decision. She knows that her family wants to continue their royal blood, and Jinsoul acknowledged that fully. They would likely pick a prince of another castle to wed and woo Jinsoul. She just had to work with whatever would happen in the future, then.

"We're going to finish setting up with the maids really quick, darling. Could you wait by the entrance and formally greet everyone entering for us?" Jinsoul's mother asked as her father wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Oh. Yeah, totally," Jinsoul agreed immediately. "Is dinner starting already?"

Her mother smiled lovingly down at her, her hand finding purchase on Jinsoul's shoulder to rub it with her thumb for a moment. "Dinner is starting in about a minute. We'll be over there with you soon, is that alright? We just need someone representing us as the people come in."

Jinsoul nodded and said no more, moving to walk towards the main entrance, where everyone would soon be piling in. She stood politely by the open doors, her hands interlocked behind her back. She stared at the long hallway that people would have to walk through in order to get here. Any second now, Jinsoul smiled to herself. She's learned to become more extroverted over the years, having been forced to interact with people she barely knew, or even strangers, from a young age. She was good with people now, and the fact that everyone loved her was just a plus. She saw a small group of people begin to make their way to the door where Jinsoul stood, waiting to greet and thank them for their arrival.

Jinsoul bowed and they returned the gesture, all grins and greetings. "Thank you for coming," Jinsoul said. "Please, enjoy yourself."

The man dressed in what looked to be the most expensive tuxedo of the group laughed a deep, hearty chuckle. "Thank you, Princess. We are enthralled to be here and are thankful for the fact that we were given the opportunity to dine here tonight."

Jinsoul appreciated his formality, waving to him and the rest of his group as they walked off. The same continued for what felt like hours, Jinsoul greeting and bowing (her back started to hurt at this point), the guests thanking her, and Jinsoul waving to them. The room was almost full now, and Jinsoul made a mental note to scold her mother for not coming to greet the guests like she promised.

The last group had finally arrived: the knights. Jinsoul smiled more brightly now, knowing that these are for sure the last people to be entering the grand dining room. She greeted and thanked each of them, getting the same treatment back. Jinsoul took a breath of what felt like fresh air when she saw Jungeun, in a short black dress, cinched at the waist but more free at its skirt. She waved at her.

"Jungeun, you look great!" Jinsoul exclaimed.

"Speak for yourself," Jungeun spoke almost breathlessly. "You look— enchanting."

Jinsoul laughed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "It's your first dinner since the dining room's been redesigned, right?"

"You told me that earlier," Jungeun pointed out.

"Well you didn't respond!" Jinsoul hit Jungeun lightly with her fist on Jungeun's shoulder.

Jungeun laughed, "I always listen, Jinsoul. And besides, how much could it have changed?"

"A fair amount," Jinsoul insisted.

"Alright, I guess I'll see, then," Jungeun complied, locking arms with Jinsoul as they strutted off. Jungeun looked around, noting some of the changes. For the most part, it looked the same— maybe new sculptures here and there, but relatively the same. But she also doesn't go to the royal dining room much. Most of the time she just stays in the kitchen or the smaller dining room for the knights.

"See?" Jinsoul asked, an expectant smile on her face as she watched Jungeun's unchanging expression.

Jungeun swung her head to look at Jinsoul. "I don't know, I don't see much change?"

Jinsoul's face dropped a bit. "What! Don't you remember your first dinner after getting sworn in!! It was totally different!" Jungeun still shrugged. "You're kidding!" Jinsoul's eyes widened as she hit Jungeun's shoulder again. Jungeun laughed as she soaked in the memory.

_Jungeun gasped as she entered the ballroom, larger than she had ever expected. She felt like all her breath was taken from her, lungs content with soaking in the beauty of the room that looked too royal for her rather than the oxygen that supplied her. She clutched onto Jinsoul's arm a little tighter, unable to stop herself from looking around at the almost antique-looking walls, lit gorgeously by the golden illumination from the delicate glass chandelier that hung gracefully, yet confidently and extravagantly on the very raised ceiling. The bronze lining on each corner of the room, as well as the border of each large, arch-shaped window, seemed to glow magnificently, and the floor shone so clean, so admirably, even after having been stepped on by the women in their heels and men in their dress shoes. Jungeun truly felt like a princess, like that of royalty; even when beside an actual one._

_"Jinsoul, oh my god," she said, breath-taken. She looked ahead at the crowd of rich-looking people, their chatter filling the room as they held champagne glasses close to their chests, taking small sips, looking so elegant and at home in this fancy setting. There were many young adults, but no one that looked to be under the age of eighteen, all of them looking mature and intelligent. Jungeun felt self-conscious imagining she was the youngest person here. The feeling evaporated as she looked to her side, seeing Jinsoul smiling down at her._

_Jungeun sighed in awe, a fluttering feeling in her stomach as she realized that she was actually here, as a knight, an official in the castle. She looked at Jinsoul, who stood at her side, glued to her hip, and smiling the greatest smile that Jungeun thinks she has ever seen. She had never seen someone more perfect._

_"Princess—"_

_"Don't worry, Jungeun," Jinsoul said. "Just stay by my side. It's your first dinner as a knight, it can get scary. Also— it's Jinsoul. You can call me Jinsoul."_

_Jungeun smiled, endlessly thankful to have someone like Jinsoul. She was happy that she got to be Jinsoul's knight. She knew she would have to have been a knight for the royal kid despite any circumstance, but she was grateful that it was someone like Jinsoul she was stuck with. She liked the idea of always being there to protect her, guard her._

_"Ladies," A guy dressed nicely in an expensive tuxedo approached them in a pleasant voice, bowing politely to the girls. Gosh, even his voice sounded rich. Both Jinsoul and Jungeun bowed to the man, holding their dresses as they did so, returning the man's generous smile. "Would you like any refreshments before the dinner begins?" Before Jungeun could deny and tell him that she really didn't need anything, Jinsoul spoke up._

_"We will gladly take up that offer, sir," Jinsoul replied with a slight nod. Jungeun was still unable to believe that she was really living in her own body right now. Everything just felt like a dream— it was so, so perfect... Better than she could have ever imagined._

_"Of course, your majesty," He accepted, going off in another direction to fetch the glasses. Jungeun turned to fully face Jinsoul. Jinsoul stared back with gleaming eyes that shone with what Jungeun thought was brighter than each star in the galaxy— finding herself somehow liking the stars Jinsoul carried a little more than those ones in the sky._

_"Just don't worry about anything," Jinsoul repeated her words from earlier, holding onto Jungeun's waist._

_"Jinsoul..." Jungeun whispered her name with the most fragile tone, as if her words would break if said any louder. She was so happy. It was a moment she'd never trade the world for._

Now that she remembered it a bit more clear, it was different. But the last dinner was pretty similar to what the room looked like now. She hummed to herself at the thought and turned back to Jinsoul.

"I don't really—" she began.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" the king called in his loudest presenter voice. He continued once the room dropped to a complete silence. "Thank you all for coming, my family and I are endeared at the number of townspeople that give us their support. Today, we will be feasting in celebration of the courageous knights that we have chosen to fight in the war—" his speech was briefly interrupted by applause and cheers.

"—yes, yes; I'm sure they love the attention. I will reveal those brave men and women at midnight!" the kind declared, smiling at the way many knights voiced their excitement and approval. Jinsoul couldn't understand why they'd be excited to fight. They could very well die, for as much as they know. "For now, we feast!"

This time, the knights were allowed to sit at the dinner table with the royal family. Normally, only royalty would be allowed to sit there, and other tables would be open for occupation, but because they are celebrating their bravery tonight, they would be allowed at the table this once. It was definitely large enough for everyone, anyway. Besides, this might be the last royal dinner they'll ever attend. The knights still in training, which were many, wouldn't be allowed at the table, though.

Of course, as soon as Jinsoul sat down, her knight took the seat right beside her. Jinsoul grinned up at Jungeun, shaking her head at her.

"My parents are supposed to sit at my sides, you know!" Jinsoul scolded with a faux disciplinary tone.

Jungeun only giggled. "That isn't an official rule, I believe, is it?"

Jinsoul crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at Jungeun before letting out a breathless laugh. "No. It _is_ tradition, though."

"Ah, of course," Jungeun said with a nod, beginning to get up from her seat.

Jinsoul quickly grabbed onto Jungeun's arm and dragged her back into the seat, though. "Nooo, it's okay. Who knows, what if you get picked and this is the last time I'll see you in a while?"

Jungeun laughed and rolled her eyes. "You think your parents will ever let me leave your side?"

Jinsoul blushed and she didn't know why. "I suppose not," she answered. "Maybe when they force me to marry some dude from another kingdom, though."

Jungeun scoffed, "Why? They can just let you choose who you marry."

Jinsoul hummed and placed her hands on her stomach, ready for food the second she started smelling it. "Mm, yeah, that'd be nice. But that's not how it works with royalty. I have to continue the royal bloodline."

"That stinks," Jungeun sympathized. "But I guess your mom and dad are kinda in love. Maybe it'll work out, Princess. Who knows?"

Jinsoul sighed, looking down at the glossy white plate in front of her. "Yeah." She swallowed down the feeling inside her telling her to yell out that she doesn't want it to be that way. That it will never work for her that way.

Finally, a maid came by and started filling Jinsoul's plate, then Jungeun's, and probably other maids working on everyone else's too. As soon as the maid finished, Jinsoul dug in, content with everything she was supplied. Dinner passed with little to no conversation, everyone focused on eating. Once many plates were finished— more like once the king finished his plate— the table suddenly was chatting again.

"Ah, my brave knights! I'm so glad you've all chosen to fight for us. Some of you will be starting soon, very soon. I hope that all the training has done something," the king spoke with a handsome smile.

"Thank you, your highness," a knight thanked. "Trust me, we, too, hope that the training was worth it in the long run."

"And even if we die in the war," another knight began, "it will be worth it, as long as it means our village's safety."

"Good men," the king praised. "I knew in my heart that you all had kind souls. I'm so grateful for you all. And Jungeun, you especially, for protecting my daughter so well." The king smiled fondly at the said knight.

Jungeun bowed in her seat. "Oh, my— thank you, your majesty." Jinsoul smiled at hearing Jungeun so formal and flustered.

"I would also like to express my gratefulness for you knights," Jinsoul's mother started. She looked quickly at Jinsoul and Jungeun with a soft smile and her gaze swept over the rest of the table. "You all work so hard, I've watched you train and fight for moments like this. I speak for the entire royal family— no, the entirety of the village, when I say that your work means the world to us. Your fight determines our life or death, and I am confident that our village will not go down in flames just yet. We have you guys, the strongest knights one could be. My husband, daughter, and I... are very, very grateful for you. You are the reason we get to sleep peacefully at night."

Some knights were tearing up, gulping down the feeling's stuck in their throats as they nodded and applauded the queen's speech. Jungeun smiled brightly, knowing that the royal family had always been humble and kind, knowing that she gave her protection to the right people. She knows that she would do absolutely anything to protect them. She could only confirm those thoughts when she turned to look at Jinsoul, who was already looking straight at her with heartfelt eyes and applauding her. The corners of her lips tugged upwards just a little more at that. She would do anything to protect her.

"I guess that makes it my turn now, huh?" Jinsoul chuckled, readjusting herself in her seat and clearing her throat. "Ah, you guys... I think of you like I think of my friends. Of course, I suppose I don't exactly have friends to compare you to, but... I think what I feel with you guys is that feeling of friendship that I never thought I'd get to experience as a princess. I try my best to get to know each one of you, and I am not lying when I tell you that I genuinely do consider you all friends. I am eternally thankful for your watching over us, for looking out for us no matter what. I give my sincerest apology to those who may lose their lives fighting for us, but know that you go down with the greatest honor and utmost respect of my family and the entire town.

"And I'd especially like to thank my own knight, the one determined to ensure my safety at all times," Jinsoul announced, smiling greatly, her pearly whites on full display from her happiness. "Jungeun," she sounds taken away as she lets her eyes skim up and down her body. "I don't think I get to say this enough. And it feels... kinda awkward, I guess, to admit how grateful I am for you. I'm not exactly the mushy, feelings-y kind of person... and you're a lot better with your words than I am. But, Jungeun... really, I thank you for everything you do for me. I know it must be a tough job. I know how hard you work every day. Thank you for that. I appreciate you so much." Jinsoul extended her arm to rest a hand on Jungeun's shoulder, rubbing her thumb on the cloth covering her skin. It must have been a minute that they've been staring at each other, Jinsoul didn't even know the people were already applauding until she looked down at Jungeun's clapping hands. She might've been the only knight not crying. Jinsoul doesn't think she's ever seen Jungeun cry, though. She doesn't reveal her emotions like that, so easily.

"Thank you," Jungeun mouthed with a smile. Jinsoul couldn't help but to smile even brighter back.

"Well," the king started, "I think now would be a good time to play the music and give us a bit of time to ourselves before revealing the upcoming war soldiers, yes?" Everyone agreed happily and got up from their seats, the people from other tables around the room already up and mingling about. It took only a nod from the king towards one of the servants in order to get the music to fill the room, loud enough so that you would have to increase the volume of your voice significantly in order to be heard, yet not be shouting. The music wasn't anything you would hear at a club, of course; it was tunes meant for slow-dancing, spending time with the one you cared for before letting them go, like the knights off to war. The king waved to Jinsoul once he caught her stare and left his seat to start banter with anyone willing. Jinsoul grinned towards her father and turned once she felt a hand wrap around hers.

"One dance, for the lady of the palace?" Jungeun offered, smirking boyishly. Jinsoul scoffed and rolled her eyes, but took a step towards the knight.

"Wouldn't that be my mother?" Jinsoul asked, a small tilt to her head in question.

Jungeun's smirk turned into a symmetrical smile. "She's already married, it's different. Right?"

Jinsoul laughed and left the question in open air. "I think I'll take up that dance offer," she said.

They barely moved a meter from the table before their arms were around the other's body, Jinsoul's wrapped loosely around Jungeun's waist while Jungeun's fingers intertwined each other behind Jinsoul's neck. They were mostly still, hard to consider it dancing with how slow their swaying was, feet taking them farther away from the table inch by inch. They twirl, smiling like idiots because they know they probably look exactly like that, but somehow they just don't care.

"Who taught you to dance?" Jinsoul asked, unknowledgeable to the fact that Jungeun, a person not of royalty, knew how to slow dance. Typically, knights wouldn't exactly know. She was expecting to have to teach Jungeun.

Jungeun giggled and threw her head down to the floor, then back up to meet Jinsoul's eyes again. "Ah... that would be my father," Jungeun admitted. "When I was little, he would turn on ballroom music and dance with me. I still wouldn't consider myself any good, though."

Jinsoul hummed and looked around the room at the other knights, standing with glasses in their hands and handsome smiles on their faces. "Better than what most knights know."

"No..." Jungeun denied with a cute grin that never seemed to leave her face. "Really?"

Jinsoul wanted to smother her with kisses; she was too cute. "You're adorable," she cooed sweetly.

Jungeun blushed and shut her eyes tight, freeing one of her hand from Jinsoul's neck to punch her arm. "Don't say that!"

"Don't get all shy on me now, big strong soldier," Jinsoul teased.

"I'm not even a soldier!" Jungeun laughed.

"Same thing," Jinsoul said, shrugging.

"No, not the same thing," Jungeun argued.

"Shh, more dancing," Jinsoul hushed, bringing Jungeun closer in her arms. By now they were far from the table, lost in the crowd of dancing bodies around them. The sea of people that surrounded them wasn't enough to drown out each other, though, because for them, it was only each other in their eyes.

Jinsoul blinked, trying not to think about how maybe, just maybe, this could be her last moments with Jungeun. She tried to not let her mind linger on the idea that if she gets chosen for battle, she may never come back. That Jungeun wasn't afraid to give up her life in order to protect Jinsoul's. She wished, she wished so bad that she could offer that same protection to Jungeun. She wanted to hold her tight and tell her that no matter what, she'll be there, through thick and thin, but she knows that that wouldn't be true. It kills her, it _kills_ her, to admit to herself that she wasn't powerful enough to do anything to stop Jungeun from protecting her. That she couldn't convince Jungeun not to go even if she'd die. She just wanted Jungeun to know that she cares. She cares a lot.

She wanted Jungeun to know that she wanted to protect her, too. That she wanted to be someone Jungeun could rely on. Someone Jungeun could talk to. She hoped that she was already that person to Jungeun. She hoped that she was already the one that Jungeun relied on, counted on. She wants all her feelings to be mutual, even if hers were nothing more than platonic. Jinsoul still thrives in Jungeun's friendship. She loves feeling wanted. Loves feeling loved.

"You look pretty," Jinsoul complimented in a quiet murmur.

"You look amazing," Jungeun said back. Jinsoul didn't even know that Jungeun could hear what she said. She was thankful she did, though.

"I mean it," Jinsoul confirmed her previous words, in case they went through one of Jungeun's ears and out the other. "You look nice. Pretty."

"Hm." Jungeun pursed her lips, staring up at Jinsoul.

"I could tell you everything." Jinsoul smiled charmingly. "Could talk to you endlessly."

Jungeun chuckled. She raised her eyebrows slightly, not sure what Jinsoul was saying or why, but she wasn't going to protest it. "And they say romance is dead."

"I wasn't trying to be romantic," Jinsoul groaned when Jungeun laughed. "Stop! I was just telling you the truth! I could talk to you for hours, really."

"Really?" she asked, unbelieving.

"Really," Jinsoul confirmed.

Jungeun decided to leave it there. She knew that if she were to keep talking, she'd end up saying something she'd been bottling in for too long. Something she couldn't risk with the princess. Instead, she basked in her hold, knowing that Jinsoul was enjoying herself in Jungeun's arms too.

Jinsoul saw the way Jungeun's eyes lit up when she looked up at her. She wasn't blind, nor was she an idiot. Only a fool in love, to be frank with herself; a girl whose heart was a flower in bloom, and Jungeun was the sunlight that she needed for it to blossom. Even if she didn't know it, couldn't recognize the feeling or the fact— it was there, and she felt it. She was happy and she was accepting that her heart stuttered when she looks at Jungeun, but she never cared enough to look into the feeling. She couldn't handle the fact that she was in love, so instead, she disregarded it, unwilling to say anything about it to Jungeun. But it was different for the knight.

Jungeun knew that feeling. Knew it all too well, since the first day she felt it. But she'd never open up about it. Their friendship was far too precious for Jungeun to risk losing. She was okay with living in the darkness until Jinsoul inevitably found the light. Until she finds the love that was meant for her, as the royal princess. She'll find a good prince from another village. She'll be happy with him. That's all that mattered to Jungeun, that Jinsoul would be happy in the end. And Jungeun would always have her back, be there when she falls, always ready to pick her back up and dust her off. She was okay living like this, keeping emotions inside her body. It wasn't bad, because in her head, she knew that Jinsoul liked her in some way. That would always be enough. Always, she smiled.

Jinsoul's hand came up to push the stray hairs behind Jungeun's ear, proceeding to trace her jawline carefully with the pads of her fingertips, smiling to herself as her fingers stopped at her chin, feeling like she was holding the most precious gem in the world when the prettiest, most heart-stopping beauty was in her hand. She didn't seem to notice when her heart started to quicken at the simplest thought of Jungeun's precious face, her charming voice, her addicting laughter, playing in her ears like the medicine to her insanity— the one driven completely by Jungeun. She sighed as she looked at each charmingly beautiful feature of her face, wondering to herself if Jungeun had ever seen the beauty of herself the way Jinsoul sees it, wondering if Jungeun knows how pretty she thinks she is. She felt so warm, so tender, her heart on the brink of explosion, but she couldn't find herself seeming to care— not even a little bit.

Jungeun looked at Jinsoul's dress, draping down like the smooth flow of a peaceful waterfall down her body, highlighting every part of the girl wonderfully. The deep blue silky fabric, so light and pleasing on the eyes, worn so amazingly by its model, the charming princess who wore it as if it were made for her. "You really do look so beautiful," Jungeun assured. "I keep saying it because it's true. I hope you know that."

Jinsoul felt her cheeks turn rosy at the compliment, not knowing how Jungeun could be talking about Jinsoul's dress rather than the one she wore like a goddess despite its simplicity. She looked at the floor, sliding her hand nervously up Jungeun's waist, knowing her eyes were still latched onto her. She laughed nervously, in spite of herself, knowing she was stupid for being so flustered by the girl.

"Stop saying that... you look good, too," she gave her token of appreciation, feeling the ivy grow like thriving nature around her heart, caging this fluttering feeling in forever; forever and ever for Jinsoul to remember. For Jungeun to remember, too. Remember the moment she knew she was hopelessly glowing in the warmth of her pure, unadulterated love for Jinsoul, radiating from her heart to each crevice of her body, filling her knowingly of the emotions she locked away for so long, her previous unwillingness to expressing them to Jinsoul flooding her mind. She closed her eyes in memory, a small, doll-like smile painting across her face, remembering how each simple touch of Jinsoul's would send her into a momentary utopia, a heaven in the stars that sat atop her own head like a cloud, fogging her brain so beautifully; she knew that it was there she wanted to stay forever. To think that now, she would be called beautiful by that same ethereal girl... She was soaring on cloud nine, body feeling so light and intoxicated off Jinsoul herself.

A servant arrived with glasses in his hands, giving them to each girl without a word— only a warm smile, to which both girls unknowingly returned. They looked back up at each other as he walked away, staring into another's eyes as if they told a hundred stories that the other would die to hear, to know. Neither girl knew how it was remotely possible to feel this odd way, feelings only ever described in books or depicted in movies, a romantic, heart-clenching feeling to be cherished forever. If feelings could be hung on walls, portraits of the beat of a lovestruck heart, they would frame this feeling forever. They put their untouched drinks on the small table behind them, both girls finding that they'd much rather become drunk off each other; to know their world, to hold their trusts and promises.

Carefully, with an unsure glide of her hand, Jinsoul set her palm on top of the back of Jungeun's hand, feeling her delicate beauty through a simple touch. She wanted to breathe in the moment, to fully endorse herself into this feeling overcoming her being, turning her senses off, becoming one through the shared feelings of herself and Jungeun. Jungeun grabbed Jinsoul's hand gently, stepping a fragment closer to her, resting her forehead on Jinsoul's.

_This is it_ , Jinsoul thought with a stupid smile. _This is love_. A feeling she thought she'd run away from once she discovered it. But right now, it feels so perfect, like it was exactly where it was meant to be in the moment, a puzzle piece to the fuller picture. Something that she almost knew was mutual right now. She's never felt lovelier.

"It's almost midnight," Jinsoul whispered, swaying on her feet with Jungeun still in her arms. Jungeun nodded, keeping her body attached to Jinsoul's.

"Are we not gonna talk about this?" Jungeun asked quietly. Somehow Jinsoul knew exactly what Jungeun was talking about.

Jinsoul paused for a moment, letting the silence flood her ears, despite the loud music and chatter still in the background. "Not right now," she decided.

"Okay," Jungeun agreed. She was really alright with that, and even if she wasn't, being in Jinsoul's presence would keep her from being upset anyways. They twirled like princesses, even if only one of them truly was. And even if Jinsoul was the princess, Jungeun couldn't help but to almost feel like one in this moment— enchanted, charming.

They must have been dancing longer than they could keep track of, because suddenly, the king is tapping an empty champagne glass with unused silverware, letting the clinking echo throughout the room and gather everyone's attention. Jungeun jumped and jolted her head up, eyes wide at Jinsoul before calming and shooting her a smile, casually stepping out of her arms in favor of standing at her side.

"Gather one, gather all, my people," the king called with a brilliant grin. He looked ecstatic to announce the news that everybody had been anxiously waiting on for the entire night. To be fair, though, he was most likely somewhat tipsy off of the alcohol he had ingested. He stood tall at the center of the room, patient as he stood happily waiting for the people to submit their full attention.

"Ah, you have all been waiting for this... I know, I know!" he exclaimed cheerfully, a hearty laugh leaving his throat. The crowd was all smiles and silent applause, listening intently for the king's next words. He cleared his throat before continuing, "Understandably so, it is the most important event of the night. The reason we've gathered here tonight.

"Let me say, once again, that it is of my utmost pleasure to have been working with you knights for so long. Watching you train so well, it brings tears to my eyes to think about how far you've all come. But enough with the wishy-washy stuff, you've heard my heartfelt speech already; now, as the clock strikes midnight, I am here to officially recognize the knights I will be sending to war. Today, you will no longer be fighters— now, you will be our brave soldiers." The king turned, setting the glass and silverware down as he picked up a folded paper, one that would reveal the names of the upcoming battlers. He coughed into his closed fist and hummed, as if comfortable— unlike everyone else, nervous with their hearts beating all the way in their stomachs. Some mothers were tearing, sweating, holding onto their sons and daughters before they would have to say goodbye. The king nodded and smiled small, reassuring the crowd that the outcome will be alright. Everything would be just fine. They just had to believe. One could hear the way tears were being shed once he unfolded the paper.

The first name was the most nerve-wracking. He was strong and everyone knew he would be chosen, but it was still shocking to watch the way he strode proudly towards the king to accept his thanks and bow to him. Then it was one after the other, as if they were zooming by, time moving far too fast and the air in the room becoming thin, everyone clutching onto the person next to them, barely breathing at all. It was knight after knight, listening to the king as he thanked them and bowing to him before lining up behind him. It was so orderly and professional, it didn't fit the grim situation.

"Kim Jungeun," he called with a smile. And with that, Jinsoul's jaw dropped. Her stomach dropped. Her heart dropped. Shattered. How could he say it so nonchalantly? How, how could— no, oh, no—

She's already leaving Jinsoul's side. She's already walking to him and she's already bowing to him. And now he's calling the next knight, but Jinsoul can only see her, the knight that belonged to her, through her teary eyes. She stared at her as she stood tall and proud in line, as if it didn't affect her. Didn't churn her at all. If only Jinsoul could act like that too, it couldn't be that hard, just— just breathe, fuck— this really can't be happening. Jinsoul could feel herself getting lightheaded.

But now, Jungeun can see that Jinsoul was staring at her. Now she returns her stare with a comforting smile, to tell her that she'll be okay. She'll come back for her. She will. Goddamnit, Jinsoul hopes she will.

The knights have all been called and everyone is cheering and whistling and clapping loudly around Jinsoul but she still feels lost in this world. Her lips part to let herself breathe easier as she sees the way Jungeun smiles through all of this, like she's happy. Like she's fine. Jinsoul isn't sure how the roles could reverse so easily, how Jungeun used to be the one fearing battle and Jinsoul was the one sporting nonchalance.

The rest of the night consisted of partying and celebration, the knights chosen for war separating themselves from everyone else to bond with each other and spend moments with one another because they know it might be their last chance to do so. Jungeun smiled her way through the night, being silly with the knights she's befriended over the years and laughing so hard her stomach hurts. She danced along with them and chatted as if they haven't just been told they'd be off to war tomorrow evening.

Jinsoul, on the other hand, spent her night in her spot at the dinner table, swirling the straw in her half-empty drink, not feeling well enough to add the rest of it to her stomach. She tried not to stare at Jungeun too much because she knew that she would be even more hurt tomorrow when she leaves. Jinsoul sighed with all the air and more carried in her lungs. She looked up when someone delivered two taps on her shoulder.

"Father," Jinsoul acknowledged as she looked up. His eyes were glassy and it was obvious he'd been drinking a bit.

"You look... sad," he said, pulling out the chair next to Jinsoul and seating himself in it. "What's wrong, darling?"

Jinsoul hummed, looking down at her beautiful dress. Such a shame that it's going to waste, no one being able to see it because she's only sitting down. "I dunno. War is upsetting."

Her father nodded in understanding. He looked down at the table for a minute, letting silence soak through them (even if it's not really silent, considering the loudness of the room around them). He looked back up at Jinsoul, seeing her pouted lips and the way her eyes stared holes into her lap.

"Would you like to go upstairs? Get some sleep?" he offered considerately.

Jinsoul thought for a second. Then she nodded without even looking up. "Yeah. Please."

Her father grunted as he stood back up, pulling Jinsoul's seat out for her and letting her get up herself. He hugged his daughter lightly and rested his chin on the top of her head. He felt the way she laid her cheek on his chest. She would cry soon. He didn't want her crying here where everyone could see her, though.

He pulled himself off of Jinsoul and patted her shoulders for good measure. "Goodnight."

She smiled at him and walked out of the dining room, down the large hallway and somehow ended up at Jungeun's room again. She cared not at all though, as she pushed the door and let it hang wide open as she laid on Jungeun's bed, her dress and shoes starting to feel uncomfortable now. She had no time to kick anything off before she was crying, though.

She grabbed one of Jungeun's pillows and let her tears fall into it, let her makeup stain it and she really couldn't care. She cried harder each time she could smell Jungeun's perfume or whatever that scent was, or when she remembered the ways they used to run around the perimeter of the house when Jinsoul stole Jungeun's armor, or when Jinsoul lifted her head and saw the small picture of the two of them together, holding each other's shoulders, that laid on Jungeun's little table.

She hiccuped violently once she ran out of moisture in her eyes to be able to produce any more tears, her body feeling cold like she needed a thousand suns to heat her up again, despite the layer of sweat that coated her forehead. She focused on regulating her breathing and closed her eyes peacefully, thinking about how much simpler things would be if she weren't born royal.

She wouldn't have to be crying so hard. She would be outside, enjoying the feel of the midnight air and the way crickets chirp in the woods that surrounded her. In her head, she would be walking around the house barefoot, wearing those baggy clothes that seem oh so comfortable. She'd be taking snacks from the cabinet whenever she'd like and she would be doing everything around the house by herself because there were no servants to do that work for her. She would be humming to the songs of the music she hears when she takes walks across town. She smiled and laughed in a way that it's more like a sharp exhale through her nostrils at the thought of herself in sweatpants and a tee, saying hello to the everyday people, because in that world, she is just one of those everyday people. She's just like them.

But the more she thinks about it, she realized she wouldn't have all the great things she has now. She wouldn't have Haseul, the girl that's like a sister to her. Wouldn't know how to socialize like she does know. She would have to give up being able to live her days without worry of completion, knowing that whichever way she lives her life, it would be fulfilled. It's almost impossible to become a disappointment, to live a life that was pitiful when you're born into royalty. She likes having connections with so many people, she adores the attention she gets even if it can be admittedly suffocating at times. And she can't possibly imagine a life without her parents. They may be busy a lot, but they love Jinsoul more than anyone else does. She knows that even if the world turned against her, they would still have her back. She's grateful for that.

And she also remembered, once she was asleep with a smile on her face, that she wouldn't have Jungeun, either. So, yeah— maybe being an everyday townsperson would have its perks, but nothing could compare to the life Jinsoul lived now. She wouldn't want to change it. All she wants to do is keep everyone that's in it right now in it forever. She doesn't want to lose somebody. She doesn't know what that's like. She doesn't _want_ to know what that's like.

Her dress pooled around her sleeping figure, her heels still squishing her feet and her ankles so hard that they might fall off when she wakes up. Her breathing was steady, a rhythm that could coax anyone into sleepiness if they laid next to her and listened. Everything's still beautiful about her.

Those are the things Jungeun noted when she walked into her room. Her shoes were in her hand and she only noticed Jinsoul after she set the shoes on the ground. She admired Jinsoul's sleeping figure, how she looks so youthful and gorgeous even while asleep. She noticed her heels and kneeled at the foot of the bed, gently unbuckling the straps and sliding them off Jinsoul's feet, noticing how soft her skin was. She set the shoes next to hers that she discarded for the night and quietly changed into her nightclothes.

Jungeun slid in next to Jinsoul, where there was just enough room for her, and laid wide awake. She found it entertaining to watch Jinsoul's chest rise and fall peacefully, her lips parted like she was ready to accept a kiss. Jungeun knew that she should be sleeping, though. It's already almost morning and she leaves at seven at night.

She only just closed her eyes when she feels Jinsoul's hand trace Jungeun's jaw. Her breathing stuttered for a second but she let Jinsoul continue.

"Are you asleep..?" Jinsoul asked in a raspy, deep voice.

"Yeah," Jungeun answered. Jinsoul's hand twitched momentarily on Jungeun's skin, as if moving to retract herself but deciding against it. She opted for resting the hand behind Jungeun's ear instead, cradling her head and fingers wrapped in her soft hair. Jungeun opened her eyes then, meeting Jinsoul's eyes. She saw the way Jinsoul's eyes flickered down to her lips, watching Jinsoul lick her own. Her heart beat faster when Jinsoul's throat bobbed with a thick gulp, staring at her with doe eyes as her head, agonizingly slow, inched its way closer to Jungeun's. She closed her eyes when finally, she could feel Jinsoul's face hovering centimeters away from her own, parting her lips. Her heart beat quickly, hopefully. She almost had to fight a smile from creeping its way onto her face.

"You're leaving today," Jinsoul said instead. Jungeun was only mildly disappointed, but she opened her eyes and saw how close they were. One small jolt and their faces would be pressed up against each other.

"YeAh— um, yeah." Jungeun could only pray that Jinsoul didn't notice the voice crack, but she was already laughing at it. "Shut up," Jungeun groaned, feeling how her face was quickly reddening. Thank god that there wasn't enough illumination to see that embarrassing discoloration.

"We should spend time together," Jinsoul suggested. Jungeun doesn't even have to think about it. Who needs sleep anyway?

Slowly, Jungeun got up and pulled Jinsoul up by her outstretched arm. She smiled at Jinsoul when she heard her tiny grunt as she used her core to sit up. She stood up with Jinsoul in front of her, Jungeun's hand still on Jinsoul's arm until Jungeun reminded herself to let go.

"What do you want to do?" Jungeun asked.

"I want to see all the things I never get to see," Jinsoul answered. "Show me everything."

Jungeun thought for a second, biting her lip, then nodded and told Jinsoul to follow her. "You have to be as quiet as possible," Jungeun began, "or else we'll get caught, okay?" Jungeun opened the door and tiptoed through the hall barefoot with Jinsoul. Jinsoul held her dress up so that she wouldn't trip on it, taking careful and quick steps through the long hallway. Jungeun seemed to be taking the window at the very end of the hallway that would lead them outside, in order to avoid guards that would definitely be crowding each doorway that could lead them out.

It took three silent minutes to reach the large window, an almost scary drop to fall from once it's considered that they'd be dropping from one story up. Jungeun turned around to see Jinsoul, looking at her uncertain face observing the decline they'd be taking. She took hold of her hand in a light grasp and threw her a reassuring smile. She wanted to tell her that it wasn't that scary, that Jungeun had escaped through this window a few times when she needed to clear her head.

Jungeun unlocked the window and cautiously slid it open, careful not to cause it to squeak or make any abrupt noise. Once it was propped open, Jungeun sat on the windowsill and admired the view of the garden surrounding the castle from a few meters up. She smiled and looked over her shoulder, waving to Jinsoul before pushing herself off of the sill and letting her body drop through the calm air, the only thing interrupting it being Jungeun herself.

Jinsoul ran to stick her head out the window and gasp loudly when she saw Jungeun in the air for a short second and landing with a somersault. She brushed herself off as she stood up and called Jinsoul over with a movement of her hand. Jinsoul sucked in a breath and sat herself on the windowsill, her dress draping behind her from the elevation. Jungeun walked closer to the castle and stuck out her arms wide, a silent way of telling Jinsoul that she'll catch her once she falls.

Jinsoul closed her eyes and, against the way her heart pounded against her ribcage, threw herself from the comfort of safety. She yelped loudly as she descended through the air and even louder when she felt Jungeun catch her. Only then, she opened her eyes, breathing quickly like she needed way more oxygen than the world could provide.

"That was scary!" Jinsoul whisper-shouted. She swatted Jungeun's shoulder and wiped a tear forming in her eye when Jungeun let Jinsoul down from her arms.

"You're alive, aren't you?" Jungeun teased.

Jinsoul rolled her eyes. "The window is still open, you know. Anyone who sees it will... they'll tell my dad and he'll find out."

"And?" Jungeun didn't see what she was getting at.

"You'd be executed! And I'd be grounded for life!" Jinsoul answered through a whine.

"No one will know," Jungeun said. "We'll be back before dawn."

"That's in, like, an hour," Jinsoul informed.

"We'll be back," Jungeun repeated. She started walking towards the training grounds, knowing Jinsoul was close behind by the way the grass crunched under Jinsoul's footsteps.

"Y'know, I don't really like how grass feels on my feet," Jinsoul complained. She continued when Jungeun's only response was a low hum. "And there's so many mosquitos!" She swatted her arms that were getting bit.

"Weren't you the one who wanted me to show you 'everything'?" Jungeun cut through her complaints.

"Yeah?"

"Then come hold my hand and walk quietly like a big girl," Jungeun said. Jinsoul jogged a few steps up to Jungeun and easily slipped her hand into her awaiting one, swinging them as they advanced. "And it might be the last time I get to do anything with you anyway."

Jinsoul frowned and looked at their bare feet on the grass. "Don't say that, Jungeun," Jinsoul muttered.

"Sorry." Jungeun rubbed her thumb apologetically on the back of Jinsoul's hand. They walked in mostly silence until they reached the place where Jungeun and any other knight spent most of their time these days.

Jungeun slid her hand out of Jinsoul's in favor of grabbing a sword that was left by a tree. She turned to face Jinsoul with a grin, waving the sword around as Jinsoul ducked with her eyes wide.

" _Oh my god_ —! JUNGEUN! Be _careful_ with that!" Jinsoul cried, even though the sword was nowhere near her.

"Wouldn't hurt ya," Jungeun laughed but put the sword down nonetheless. "Wanna see my suiting room?"

"Suiting room?" Jinsoul repeated as she walked behind Jungeun, already leading her to said room.

"Yeah," Jungeun confirmed. "Basically where the knights get armored up. Also, I keep the weaponry in there." Jinsoul hummed and nodded her head, even though Jungeun wouldn't be able to see. There was a room like that inside the castle, too, except only the royal family and permitted guests were allowed inside it. "Oh, and it probably smells like body odor."

"Jungeun!" Jinsoul whined when Jungeun laughed. Jungeun lifted the tent door up for Jinsoul to enter first. It was less like a room if you looked at it from the outside: a large, tan tent, rather. But once she stepped inside she could see all the things that could make it feel roomy. Jungeun pulled a string to illuminate the room in a yellow glow.

Jinsoul sat on the wood-carved bench and let her eyes dance around the room, catching swords in their sheaths, armor of thick and thin, and even shields, which Jinsoul doesn't see in use a lot. She felt Jungeun sit on the bench a modest distance away from her. Jinsoul looked to the girl, who was staring at the painting leaning against a post, a portrait of each knight standing with each other. Jinsoul smiled at it for a moment until she felt the way her heart sunk, the corners of her mouth lowering from their happy raise. This is the only family Jungeun really had anymore. She barely even talked to her dad anymore. These were the only people she always had. They all smiled in the picture, they all looked like family. But Jungeun had to leave them now. She'd have to pack soon and part from them. It must have been hard to keep that bright smile, Jinsoul realized when she remembered Jungeun's face after she was a revealed knight in battle. She wanted to be happy because she wanted them to be happy. She loves them like family. And she might have to let them go. Jinsoul put a sympathetic hand on Jungeun's knee at the thought.

Jungeun lifted her head and returned Jinsoul's glance. She smiled softly at Jinsoul, weakly, and it was all she could do before a single tear rolled down her cheek. Jinsoul's tears welled up her eyes at that, seeing Jungeun so unsure and split like this. Jungeun wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her nightshirt, laughing against herself because she was so pathetic.

"They're all I have, Jinsoul," she breathed as she shook her head slowly.

Jinsoul moved her hand up to Jungeun's shoulder, rubbing it to try and ease her. Jungeun was still sporting that broken smile, even as she broke down and threw her head into Jinsoul's shoulder, hanging onto Jinsoul's body so tight. She clutched the fabric of Jinsoul's dress in her hands, so afraid that anything wrong that could happen will happen as soon as she leaves for war. Her body shook with her sobs, only comforted by Jinsoul's caring hand smoothing along Jungeun's back.

Jinsoul couldn't imagine what Jungeun could be feeling, but she could understand the way it hurt her. Jungeun was practically picked from a field of flowers and chosen to fit right into here, to defend the royal family because she was born into the family that sworn exactly that. She was strong and she was brave, more intelligent than most people Jinsoul knew. But even people as courageous and fierce and smart as her had their bruises and bumps. And sometimes it can't be bottled up inside until it evaporates away.

Jinsoul let Jungeun ruin her beautiful dress, soaking it in her tears because it's what Jungeun needed to do. Jinsoul was glad that she didn't lock everything inside, even if she couldn't possibly do that to begin with. She held Jungeun close to her because it's what she needed, but it's also what Jinsoul herself needed. The silence minus Jungeun's soft cries let her mind linger to a place that reminded her that Jungeun will be away for a while, for a long time and Jinsoul will never be able to tell when she's coming back. Or, as much as the idea breaks her heart— if she'll be coming back at all. Jinsoul and Jungeun might have been opposite in many ways, but one thing is for sure: they both depend on the other to lean on. So as they sit there, tears flowing, they still know they have each other. For now.

Jungeun sniffed and pulled herself out of Jinsoul's arms, staring with wet eyes at her. She was glad to be protecting Jinsoul, she knows that she'd easily challenge death in order to save her. Accepting battle in that sense wasn't hard. But it would be hard to say goodbye to her. It would be hard to face what may be months upon months of no contact. Maybe even forever, if things don't work out well.

"I'm not scared of dying, Jinsoul," Jungeun admitted in a whisper, holding Jinsoul's face with one of her hands. She felt how one of Jinsoul's tears landed on her finger. She stared into Jinsoul's eyes for a moment, observing the constellations she saw in them. "I'm just scared to never see you again."

Jinsoul sighed and leaned a little more into Jungeun's touch. Another hot tear fell down her cheek and she wanted to stop, feeling awkward now that she was the only one with tears yet to shed. She closed her eyes and put her hand on top of Jungeun's, the one resting on her cheek.

"I don't want you to die, Jungeun," Jinsoul mumbled. She closed her eyes tighter to will herself to stop crying.

Jungeun's heart clenched at those words, knowing that the message underlying them displayed Jinsoul's distrust in Jungeun being able to survive the war. But Jungeun wasn't so sure she'd survive, either.

"I'll come back, Princess. Don't worry, alright?" Jungeun comforted, smoothing her thumb across the apple of Jinsoul's cheek. Jinsoul looked up at Jungeun and nodded with glassy eyes, holding onto Jungeun's words more than she'd like to admit.

Jungeun looked towards the door of the tent and quickly back to Jinsoul, moving to get up and stand. "We should go back now, they'll find us soon..." Jinsoul stood beside Jungeun and followed her as she lead them back to the castle, the outside world a lot lighter than it was when they first went in the suiting room. The grass didn't feel as bad on Jinsoul's feet anymore, starting to like the feeling.

The birds chirped as the morning sun just barely began to rise, coating the earth in its warm orange light. Jinsoul smiled to herself at the scenery, it was picture perfect. Would be wonderful to have a portrait done of the scene. Once they reached a door, Jinsoul hesitated.

"What?" Jungeun asked, noting her pause.

"How are we gonna get past the guards?" Jinsoul whispered, even though she didn't have to because no one would hear her.

"They switch the guards out once morning hits. We just tell them that the other guards accepted our requests to leave for a moment," Jungeun planned. Jinsoul nodded and let Jungeun turn her back to her and open the door, greeting the two large men with a wave and a tight-lipped smile. "Boys," she greeted, and they laughed. They returned the greeting calmly until they saw the girl behind her, squinting and scrunching their eyebrows.

"Princess Jinsoul? What are you doing out of your room?" one of them asked curiously.

"Uh," Jinsoul blanked. "We— well, I asked the night shift guards if I could— um, if Jungeun could... show me... her... thingy..." Jinsoul made a swirly motion with her hand because she couldn't think of a word. "You know, the... tent, thing."

Jungeun had to hold herself back from hitting her palm against her forehead. She bit her lip in worry for their next words.

"The suiting room?" the man asked. Jungeun gulped.

"Yeah! That," Jinsoul beamed.

"Jinsoul..." Jungeun groaned, already knowing what would happen next.

"That's a room for the knights only. While I wouldn't blame you, your highness... Jungeun, you do know that that's a room only for knights, right?"

Jungeun knew it was a rhetorical question, but stupidly, she denied it anyway. "No, sir, I apologize. It won't happen again."

They nodded as if that was all it took, making room for the women to make their way in. Both girls bowed and the men returned the action as they passed them. Jinsoul was surprised about how they said nothing about her dress, never mind the fact that they were both barefoot.

Jinsoul laughed breathlessly in awe when they were back in the hallway leading to Jungeun's room. "I can't believe we just did that," she said, shaking her head and laughing. "I can't believe we just did that!"

Jungeun chuckled at the exhilarated girl. "Hey, don't go around getting yourself in trouble when I'm gone, okay? This is a one-time thing for you," Jungeun declared.

"I know, I know. And I wasn't planning on it, I'm a good child," Jinsoul defended. Jungeun laughed at her and continued walking through the hallway and past her door, confusing Jinsoul for a moment until she saw her closing the window that had been left open for all that time. Jungeun walked back and stood by her door, leaning against the doorframe and staring at Jinsoul. When Jinsoul only stared back, Jungeun raised her eyebrows slightly.

"Are you staying here?" Jungeun questioned.

"Uh, I— yeah? I want to spend time with you..." Jinsoul said, pouting and swinging her shoulders around childishly. "C'mon! You're leaving soon..."

Jungeun pretended to think about it, but she really didn't have to. She was always glad to spend time with Jinsoul. She gave up the facade quickly and laughed with a bright grin towards Jinsoul, nodding her head.

"Of course I'll spend time with you," Jungeun said as if it were obvious. "But first, I really, _really_ need sleep... Or else I might pass out during battle," Jungeun teased, but she was being completely serious. Jinsoul pouted but knew that what Jungeun was saying is necessary and true— she would need plentiful rest if she was going to start fighting for her life soon.

"Come find me when you're ready," Jinsoul said, smiled, and walked off with nothing left to say, not wanting to waste more time that Jungeun could use sleeping by talking to her.

She walked, still barefoot and praying her feet weren't sweaty enough to force the maids to clean the hallways she strut through. She was on her way back to her room, making a mental note to change into more comfortable attire before collapsing on her bed. But before she could reach the stairs, she saw a shadow on the wall. It was getting brighter out, so she knew she wasn't seeing things because it was dark. She turned around quickly without making the floorboards creak, swinging her head around to check for anyone.

The footsteps continued down the hallway opposite of the one that had Jungeun's room. This hallway was only for Jinsoul's mother's habits, like her sword making and cape sewing. She figured that it could only be her mother continuing her work on the sword she saw a few days ago. Curious, she began following the sound of the footsteps, following the figure she couldn't make out because of the darkness in this hall, where there were no windows.

"Mom! Mom, stop—" Before she could finish, the figure turned, and Jinsoul got barely a second of a look at her face, but it was enough to know that the figure wasn't her mother. In fact, she looked almost familiar, like she's seen her before, like—

"HEY! STOP!" Jinsoul yelled out when the woman started to bolt, running so fast she forgot where her mind was just taking her. The lady was always a few steps ahead of her, too far away for Jinsoul to get, but close enough for Jinsoul to hear her staggered, rough breathing. She was almost there, arms stretched out, fingertips curling because they were so close to the collar of the woman's shirt, but right then, the woman slipped into the pitch black darkness of the corner she turned. Jinsoul couldn't let this woman get away. She knew who she was. It was the same lady that she saw with the young knight in the armor and weaponry room.

She chased her down that hall until Jinsoul could no longer hear or see where she went, leaving her alone and panting in the middle of the complete darkness, bending down to catch her breath. She wiped some of the sweat that was forming on her forehead.

"Who the hell are you?" Jinsoul whispered, thinking aloud. She sat down completely, scooting over until her back hit a wall, leaning all her weight against it and tilting her head up until it rested on it, closing her eyes and parting her mouth to allow more air into her lungs. She couldn't stop that question from repeating nonstop in her head again. Because, really, who the hell was that woman? And why is she always everywhere she shouldn't be?

She should report her to a guard. She should definitely report her to a guard. But for now, all she knows she needs to do is regulate her breathing and get some well-deserved rest. Today would be a long day, and every day for a while now would be, too. She ended up falling asleep right there, in the dim hallway with no lights whatsoever, only to wake up when she felt someone shaking her shoulders vigorously.

"What, what!" Jinsoul exclaimed, waking up from her sleeping state, raising her arms slowly up to prevent the person from shaking her awake again. Her eyes remained closed as she spoke again, "I'm up..."

"Okay, but why are you in here?! I was worried about you!" Jungeun asked. Jinsoul looked up at her, opening her eyes finally only to see the pretty girl. She smiled tiredly, stretching her limbs out before standing up on her feet.

"I fell asleep," Jinsoul answered.

"Yeah, I could see that much," Jungeun said.

"How'd you find me?" Jinsoul asked, starting to wake up more.

"Followed the glitter trail. Probably from your dress."

Jinsoul's eyes widened. "G-glitter trail..?" she asked cautiously. Jungeun nodded. Oh, fuck. Jinsoul hit herself in the face. Her parents will kill her if the maids don't get to it first.

"You'll be fine," Jungeun assured, sensing her worry. "Don't think about it too much."

Jinsoul sighed and nodded, starting to walk out of the hallway as Jungeun followed. Once they reached where they could see from the many windows, Jinsoul could tell it was about noon. She tried not to think about how she had only seven hours left with Jungeun. She turned around to look at Jungeun.

"It's so empty right now..." Jinsoul commented, absorbing the fact that the usually crowded foyer, normally filled with maids walking to their destinations and other kingdom goers doing the same, was completely lifeless. The only people there were the two of them. Jinsoul tilted her head up, looking at the high ceiling, the murals and sculptures made years and years ago when the castle was made. She span, walking slightly forward to look closer at the painting on the ceiling, seeing her greatest grandparents in the portrait, the royal lovers and their daughter smiling and appearing to look right at her. Jinsoul smiled, sighing happily when she lowered her head to look at the framed paintings on the wall and looked at all the families just like hers, just like the one on the ceiling, and she could tell that she was meant to be here. The thought was only confirmed when she felt Jungeun rest her head on Jinsoul's shoulder. She tilted her head to grin down at her, wondering how she got so lucky in life.

"It's empty because they're all at the ceremony..." Jungeun informed slowly, Jinsoul being able to feel the way her voice vibrated from the way Jungeun's chin rested on her shoulder.

"What ceremony?" Jinsoul asked calmly. She was still looking at some of the paintings.

"For the knights. More emotional than last night's ceremony dinner thing... I went to find you instead," Jungeun said. Jinsoul had to try hard in order to fight the blush rising to her face.

"How romantic~" Jinsoul teased her despite getting all flustered.

Jungeun laughed, "Hey, don't get too cocky now. I just thought the ceremony would be boring and I'd rather hang out with you."

Jinsoul nodded in understanding. "Where do you want to go then?"

Instead of replying, Jungeun smiled mischievously and grabbed onto Jinsoul's wrist, running across the floor of the castle until they were heavy breathing and Jinsoul had to take a good look to find out where they were. Their hair flew behind them and all Jinsoul could hear was the melodious sounds of Jungeun's bubbly laughter. They stopped when Jungeun brought them to a glass door, leading them to the indoor garden.

Jungeun twisted the door open with a great smile. She turned to Jinsoul, looking down at the princess's feet. "You'll probably need some slippers," she commented.

Jinsoul groaned, "And go all the way back??"

Jungeun hummed in thought, holding her chin with her fingers. Her eyes brightened when she got an idea, lowering herself until she was kneeling in front of Jinsoul with her back facing her. Jinsoul stood there confused for a moment until Jungeun patted her shoulders.

"Hop on!" Jungeun told her, looking over her shoulder to assure Jinsoul that it was okay. She was strong, not that she was trying to brag, but she knew that she could carry someone Jinsoul's weight on her shoulders for however long need be. She huffed when she stood up, but after that, walked around easily. Jinsoul was lucky that the doorframe was arched and tall, meaning she wouldn't have to duck to not hit her head on the ceiling or anything.

As soon as they stepped in, Jungeun shut the door behind them, then walked to the center of the room, spinning the two of them around slowly with a smile. Jinsoul looked down to the floor, where Jungeun walked on the glass with her slippers. If Jinsoul tried walking on that glass barefoot, she'd dirty it for sure, glad that Jungeun offered to carry her. But other than that, she didn't exactly see the purpose of getting carried.

Butterflies flew freely around the room, their gorgeous, bright blue wings almost reflecting light, and others with yellow, or red, or orange and any other color were there too, sitting on the flowers as if they were their thrones. The flowers were all sorts of colors, some still in bloom while others already stood tall and proud through the bushes and other green plants. But they weren't in there long before Jungeun lead them to the door that would lead them to the outside garden.

Jungeun let Jinsoul down once they shut the glass door of the garden, greeting the bodyguards that stood outside, shooting them odd glares.

"Princess, why are you..?" a guard started.

"Outside?" Jinsoul asked with scrunched eyebrows, trying to complete his sentence after he trailed off.

"No, why..." he stopped to look up and down Jinsoul's body. "Why are you still wearing that gown?"

"Oh!" Jinsoul said once she looked down and realized she'd still yet to change. "Did Kahei ask for it back?"

"No one asked for it back," the guard answered. "Just... confused. You also don't have shoes."

Jinsoul sighed, "Sorry, I didn't have time to grab them."

"Don't apologize," he replied. "But you should change soon. Don't want any men getting temptations," he teased.

"Um—" Jinsoul stammered and Jungeun held onto Jinsoul's arm tight, her face morphing to a scowl the more the man talked. How could Jinsoul even reply to that? The guard sensed her discomfort and laughed it off, hitting Jinsoul lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh, it's just a joke. The boys won't touch you, your knight here won't let 'em," he explained. Jinsoul heard Jungeun scoff from her side, letting go of Jinsoul's arm and walking away.

Jinsoul nodded quickly, but her eyes were on Jungeun. She wasn't sure what to say to him. With a bounce, Jinsoul started walking away with Jungeun. The outdoor garden was much more beautiful than the inside one. A larger array of flowers were offered here, more variety and differing species. Despite how stunning the view of that could have been, she couldn't seem to take her eyes off the view of the smiley girl in front of her, who looked too adorable sporting that bright grin and sparkling eyes.

Jungeun looked towards Jinsoul, her smile dropping to a small o when she saw the princess staring at her with the softest eyes. She laughed at the fact that Jinsoul had been watching her. Her face returned to the scowl she wore before, though, when she remembered what Jinsoul had been told moments ago.

"That guard was so weird," Jungeun pointed out.

"No, he was just telling me that I wasn't fit for the outside with my outfit," Jinsoul explained.

Jungeun hummed in consideration of that, then said, "But that comment was so unnecessary. Even made me uncomfortable." Jinsoul sighed and agreed with a nod, but said nothing in response, so Jungeun continued. "I could've smacked him right then, Jinsoul. I don't know who he thinks he is. The only thing stopping me was the fact that you wouldn't like that."

Jinsoul laughed, "I know you would." They stared at each other with smiles that described how completely smitten they are for each other for however long forever was. Looking into Jungeun's eyes felt like looking into the endless future to Jinsoul. And Jinsoul's eyes to Jungeun were the brightest gems that sparkled almost too brilliantly.

Jinsoul couldn't believe she had to let her go soon. She just didn't know what she'd do. She already felt lost; she could feel the way her heart warned her of caving in if she lingered any longer on the thought. She let out a shaky breath and calmed her quickening heart. Her hands reached out to grab Jungeun's. She didn't want to let her go.

But it wasn't only Jinsoul too afraid to part ways. The idea scared Jungeun more than she'd ever admit. She was supposed to be tough. She was supposed to be fearless and brave, and she always was— always was because Jinsoul was always there for her. But it would be different now. She won't have the charm that keeps her smiling, keeps her breathing steady and heart pounding to remind her she's human. But even with the way her heart thudded against her chest right now, Jungeun felt like a little more than human, like she ascended above the clouds because of the way she could see her reflection through Jinsoul's wide, accepting eyes. She never wanted to leave this moment behind, never wanted to let herself see the terror of war.

Jungeun breathed slowly, only noticing now how close their faces were. She would have stepped back, but her feet felt frozen. She felt stuck to the ground, like here was where she was meant to be and destiny wouldn't let her resign. Her eyes fluttered to Jinsoul's lips before she could stop them, immediately flitting back to Jinsoul's eyes. Her face began to redden at their proximity, and it seemed like every part of her body was on a mission to betray her. Especially when her head started moving agonizingly slow closer towards Jinsoul's head.

Jungeun's lips parted when her lips were hovering over Jinsoul's. Her eyes were still staring into Jinsoul's, heart still pounding relentlessly. She felt like she could explode into a million pieces right now. Her hands began to shake in Jinsoul's.

Jinsoul could feel her heart in her throat. She tried gulping down the feeling but nothing came of use. She was flustered by Jungeun's closeness, still shocked that she closed the space between them until there was barely any room left to breathe. Jinsoul already forgot how to gather her breath anyway, though.

"Are... are we gonna..." Jinsoul stuttered, voice low and shaky. Jungeun closed her eyes and tightened her hands around Jinsoul's before letting go of one to hold Jinsoul's chin in place. Jinsoul barely had time to think before Jungeun's lips were ever so slightly brushing upon hers, her lips soft and nice. Then, like a butterfly flapping its wings once and then never again, they exchanged a quick, dry peck, both girls not courageous enough to make a bigger move. As soon as the fleeting kiss ended, they both backed up one step, hands letting go of each other as they stared wide-eyed at the other, mouths agape at what had just occurred. Jungeun's hand came up to slap over her mouth, in mild disbelief that this was actually real, questioning if that really happened.

It was like heaven. Jungeun had imagined kissing the princess a hundred times, but this exceeded any fantasy by a million, even if it was for barely a second. She looked at Jinsoul, who seemed just as shocked as she was, and blushed further. She brought her hand back down to her side and opened her mouth to mutter some sort of apology.

"I'm sorry— I don't know, I was just thinking and— I, ah, this is, wow! That was so weird. I'm just... sorry for, you know, that—" Jungeun was interrupted when Jinsoul pressed her lips on Jungeun's for a short second again. She smiled when she pulled back, grinning wide, then kissed her again. And again. And again.

Jinsoul had to stop when she couldn't physically kiss her anymore, her giddy laughter and way-too-wide grin preventing her from pursing her lips anymore. She wrapped her arms around Jungeun and span around, Jungeun giggling along with her, still not quite sure if this was actually happening. Jinsoul retracted her arms and stepped back to give Jungeun some space, still smiling.

"Don't apologize for anything," Jinsoul said. "It was... great." Jungeun scratched the back of her neck, a tick of shyness she didn't even know she had.

"Oh, gosh, really?" Jungeun asked with her head bowed, hiding her grin.

Jinsoul nodded. "Not that I have much experience to go off of. It was my first," she informed.

"F-first?!" Jungeun repeated, head bolting up as her eyes widened, face reddening all over again.

Jinsoul nodded again, biting her lip, unsure if her inexperience was unattractive to Jungeun. "Yeah, my, uh, my first... kiss." Jungeun looked bewildered. "Sorry if that... isn't—"

"We should get you back to your room." Jungeun didn't bother to make eye contact as she continued walking, fists clenching at her sides and nails digging into her palms to preserve her sanity. Jinsoul, although confused and saddened, followed wordlessly, head down so she could only see her and the knight's feet. Oh, she was a terrible kisser, wasn't she? She should've known, should have warned Jungeun before they kissed. It was a moment she'd never forget, and hopefully one day her mind would let her erase the embarrassment that followed it.

Jungeun only led Jinsoul to the staircase before turning towards her. She kept her eyes on the ground even as she spoke to the princess in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry, your highness."

Jinsoul looked puzzled at Jungeun's tone and wording. She saw her downcast eyes, the way her lips pouted in regret. She must have really made a mistake with kissing the princess. Jinsoul desperately hoped that they could put this behind them. She was far too eager, too— kissing her over and over again afterward. Jungeun never seemed to find it distasteful until Jinsoul admitted it was her first.

"Is it because..?" Jinsoul trailed off, unwilling to finish her sentence. Jungeun shook her head. Jinsoul, despite getting the answer she thought she wanted, came to realize that it really wasn't the answer she yearned to hear. Now, all that she was left with was an empty book with words yet to be written— a story too full to be expressed. Yet with only the nothingness, Jinsoul continued hopelessly flipping through the pages, searching for something she'd never find. "You—" Jinsoul stopped. It was a question too dangerous to ask. She'd write it down on one of the blank pages, maybe, but the inquiry of "Does she love me?" was one that permitted a solemn heartbreak, as well as the unknowingness of whether or not the story will come to a happily ever after.

Jungeun knew this was stupid. Perhaps the dumbest thing she's done in her life. She wasn't supposed to kiss the princess. She wasn't supposed to find her safety and comfort within her. While maybe all of that could be excusable, she would never be forgiven if she said the one thing she yearns to speak so badly. Because she wasn't supposed to fall in love with Jinsoul.

Being beside her all the time, it was egging Jungeun on, convincing her that love wasn't a thing to run away from, yet she still held off. She held off until now, and in that moment, it was the greatest euphoria she's ever felt. The touch of her lips on Jinsoul's, no matter how small, was like forgetting the world and living a true life. It was like leaving everything that bored and irked her behind and taking the leap, separating hopefully from finally. It all crashed down on her then, during the kiss— her heart swelled and warmed and it was like nothing before.

But she took that kiss away from the one who was supposed to have it. She stole it. She stole it. Oh, if Jinsoul's father found out... it would all be over for Jungeun. She'd be tortured in the cruelest of ways, left to rot without Jinsoul for eternity. He would spit on her and curse at her and make the town despise her. Everyone would hate her, because her first kiss wasn't supposed to be with the young female knight, who's only purpose was to protect her; it was supposed to be with a charming prince from a castle not too far away, there to sweep her off her feet and make her fall in love at first sight. Even if the thought ate Jungeun alive, she couldn't deny that it was where Jinsoul was supposed to be. It's how it works. It's how it's always been. Always will be.

"I have to return to training, Princess. Forgive me," Jungeun said before she left, not giving Jinsoul a chance to even say one more word to her.

This wasn't right. It didn't feel right to either of them. Jinsoul stared at her for a moment, how her legs tried desperately to get her farther away from Jinsoul, how her arms rest calm at her sides yet her hands were in clenched fists. She couldn't watch her walk away like this. It hurt too much. She didn't know how to make it right, but she knew that she couldn't leave what they had behind. There was no way she'd be forgetting Jungeun anytime soon. Having her romantically would be a dream, but her friendship is more important than anything to Jinsoul.

As fast as her feet could go, she ran to Jungeun, not even careful of her dress that threatened to trip her multiple times. She had to do something. She had to talk to her and make sure everything was okay. When Jungeun stopped, obviously waiting for Jinsoul to approach her, Jinsoul ran that much faster. She was given an opportunity and she had to take it before it left.

"Jungeun, please, just— you really can't be mad," Jinsoul pleaded, hands on both of Jungeun's arms as her eyes stared into Jinsoul's, wide with a deep emotion that Jinsoul couldn't decipher.

"Jinsoul," Jungeun said with a sort of breathlessness.

"Please," Jinsoul begged. "It's just a kiss. It's alright. It was, it was really amazing. I promise. You don't have to be shy or self-conscious." Jinsoul ended her speech with a convincing smile, warm to Jungeun.

"That's not it. Your dad..." Jungeun trailed off.

Oh. That's what it was. Jinsoul's face went blank. If anyone saw what happened, it would be over for Jungeun. Jinsoul would have to watch her suffer. She'd go through harsh punishments because of Jinsoul. Fuck. Oh, fuck.

"Agh... Shit, I don't— I'm sure no one saw us." She rubbed her hands comfortingly on Jungeun's arms, but Jungeun still looked uneasy. "Right?" Jungeun didn't respond at all. Not even with a nod. "Jungeun, we'll be fine... we'll be alright," Jinsoul comforted.

"I dunno, I... I just don't know," Jungeun sighed. She didn't know what would happen. She couldn't tell.

"This won't change anything, right? We'll still be best friends?" Jinsoul asked. Pleaded.

It broke Jungeun's heart to admit to herself that that's all they'll ever be. "Yeah." She smiled up at Jinsoul, because that's what she needed to see. "Best friends."

Jinsoul smiled too, for the same reason. She needed it. "I wish it could be different..." Jinsoul empathized. They stood for a moment in silence.

"I wish it could, too," Jungeun agreed. Soon, her arms were wrapped around Jinsoul and she was pulling her into a loose hug. "You should change into something more comfortable."

Jinsoul nodded. "I will." She tried to pull herself from Jungeun's embrace in order to get to her clothing room. "Okay— I will if you let me go," she said through clenched teeth as she struggled out of Jungeun's grip. Jungeun laughed and retreated her arms, taking a few steps back.

"I'll wait for you here, your highness," Jungeun promised. Jinsoul gave her a stern look at the term and rolled her eyes. "Jinsoul," Jungeun corrected through a giggle.

"I'll be back in a minute," Jinsoul said before jogging up the stairs. Her feet led her to her dressing room and she opened the door, grabbing a knee-length loose white dress that was more casual and fitting for everyday events. She slid the beautiful gown she wore off her shoulder and let the material slide down her body until it pooled at her feet. She threw the discarded dress into a clothing bin at the corner of the room and threw the dress she held in her other hand on. She almost left before putting on slippers, but she remembered as she felt her foot touch the cold floorboard, moving back to get the shoes to cover her feet.

Jungeun was still there, as promised, when Jinsoul returned. She grinned and locked her arm with Jungeun's as they walked without a destination around the castle.

It was stupid, the way Jinsoul couldn't stop smiling. She knew that she was the best version of herself when she was with Jungeun. She made her feel like nothing mattered except time. Time would be the thing that tore them apart. But it shouldn't be acknowledged right now. Nothing should right now. Jinsoul was more in love than what was good for her. She got it bad, she really did; falling in love with that Jungeun girl.

They twirled and giggled across the empty hallways, because if no one was watching, the world was theirs. Jinsoul let herself imagine what a future would be like with Jungeun. Perhaps it was a dangerous thought to linger on when there was absolutely no way they'd ever be allowed to love each other, but the idea was beautiful. Even now, as Jungeun swayed Jinsoul in her arms, looking up into her eyes with her wide, welcoming ones, Jinsoul couldn't stop thinking about it.

She wondered if Jungeun felt anything when she was near Jinsoul. She wondered if she was the only one who's heart fluttered at their presence. She hoped not. How amazing would it be if such a feeling was mutual? To have the one you feel for reciprocate your feelings. What a dream that would be... But even if they both did feel it, that feeling, they would never confess it. They couldn't. It was unlawful, to fall in love when you weren't supposed to— with the person you weren't supposed to. They've known each other for so long, too long, for these feelings to exist. They should only be friends. They should think nothing more of each other. How it had come to this, neither of them had any clue.

Jinsoul could see from the corner of her eye how the sun was just beginning to set. She didn't want to think about it. _Don't think about it. Don't, god, please don't think about it_. Jungeun would be gone soon.

Fuck. Jinsoul kept her calm display, not wanting to alarm Jungeun. She took deeper breaths. Fuck. Oh, no.

_Don't go, please don't go_ , Jinsoul wanted to beg, her eyebrows lowering as she fought tears from presenting themselves in her eyes. Jungeun saw the way her eyes sparkled, not like the way they usually do; instead, they sparkled with gleaming water, a thin layer that Jungeun could tell she tried to hide. Jungeun looked up at the wall, glancing at the large analog clock. They had ten minutes. Jungeun had to go.

Jungeun nosed at Jinsoul's neck, a silent apology for what was to come. Neither of them could speak, not even if they wanted to. Everything felt like it had been turned askew. And soon their worlds would be turned upside down. Jungeun lifted her face back up, staring into Jinsoul's eyes like she was begging for forgiveness.

"It's okay," Jinsoul whispered. She ran a hand through Jungeun's hair. Jungeun smiled softly, nodding and taking Jinsoul's hand as she walked towards the main entrance of the castle, where all the knights would have to leave.

Everyone was there. The room was bright, lit up with white lights that hurt Jinsoul's eyes after having been in the dark hallway. She smiled as she walked across the floor, not wanting to alarm people if she was frowning. This was supposed to be happy. These are the people leaving to fight for her. She should be grateful. A part of her feels guilty for being upset instead.

Haseul caught Jinsoul's eye and she ran over to the princess, smiling brightly as she approached her. She glanced at the knight next to her, too, then saw her downcast face. Haseul's smile dropped, eyes catching sight of the way the two held hands so tight, like they planned on never letting go. Her head shot back up to look at Jinsoul's face, who was now fighting a frown. Haseul sighed. She understood now. Jinsoul and Jungeun, they... wow.

Words couldn't describe how painful it must be. Haseul really couldn't imagine. She's known for some time that Jinsoul felt strongly for Jungeun, but she didn't know to what extent. It's a bit more obvious when she sees the way they exchange a heartfelt look, an almost apologetic one. A farewell.

"Knights," the king called loudly, opening one of the front doors, a guard holding open the other. "I thank you for your service. I trust in you." He shot the crowd a great grin. "Please, return safely. Win the war. Claim our victory!" Knights and maids and royals alike cheered, it seemed like all were happy except Jinsoul. But she played along and grinned at Jungeun, treasuring the few seconds she had left. All the knights were leaving, and Jinsoul felt guilty for not letting go of Jungeun's hand yet to let her do the same. She released her hand, hoping that Jungeun's touch will linger on her skin forever.

"Jinsoul?" Jungeun called, then smiled. It was convincing for a second, and if you didn't know Jungeun, it would be hard to tell that she was only smiling so Jinsoul wouldn't worry. The way her lips twitched at the corners revealed that so loudly. "If you ever miss me, look up at the stars. They're the same set that I'll be looking at each night." Jinsoul almost laughed at how stupid and cheesy it was. She wanted to say something snarky back but looking behind Jungeun, she realized there would be no time.

"Go get 'em," Jinsoul cheered with a small smile, patting Jungeun's shoulder once. Jungeun nodded with the greatest, most beautiful smile back, thanking Jinsoul silently and running over to the rest of the knights. Jinsoul smiled up until the moment they began walking away, and slowly, the grin dissipated. She watched Jungeun's figure go farther and farther away from her, and it solidified that this was it— this was goodbye, for however long it may be until they meet again. She bit her lip. She hopes it won't be enough time for feelings to harbor away from their chests. But maybe it will.

Haseul looked over at the princess and bit her lip. She looked dejected. Haseul knew that this would be difficult for Jinsoul. "You really like her, huh, Princess?"

Jinsoul laughed emotionlessly, still staring at the courageous girl that was now a great distance in front of her. "She means everything to me, Haseul."

This was going to be difficult. But that she already knew. She didn't quite know, though, how she would already feel her world shifting as midnight came, sitting alone in her bedroom, staring at her bedsheets as if they held some message she had to decode. Everything felt relatively the same, minus the ache wrapping around Jinsoul's heart like a boa. Time really started ticking now, truly began to pass, and it was just a matter of waiting. Just waiting. Just wait for her to come back. It will be alright then. It will. And she will come back.

She couldn't do anything except sit there, still in shock of everything, replaying it in her brain a million times over to make sure Jungeun wasn't actually some hallucination she's been having all these years. It irks her a little, but she knows that as time passes it will only hurt more. She has to be happy now so that she's less upset later.

It's hard to pretend she's happy if she really isn't, though. She mostly feels... empty. Empty, for lack of better words, because her heart, which had once been full and bloomed, was hollowed out; still glowing the same way it always has, but waiting for her knight to come back and return what was taken. Jinsoul sighed, feeling everything quiver, her hands unable to find one place to stay— finding purchase on her thighs, then pulling at her hair, clawing at the bedsheets. She was really trying not to lose it.

She laid down. She had to sleep. Had to breathe. Jungeun wouldn't want her to freak out like this. She closed her eyes, inhaling through her nose and exhaling through her mouth, the kind of breathing exercises her mom taught her when she was younger.

Jungeun and Jinsoul. It even sounded like names that belonged. They were two figures in a snow globe, apart, yet always together. Domed in by the glass walls like the people that watched them every day. What if they left? Left where no one could see them or judge them? But it would be wrong to assume safety lies behind that barrier, it would be wrong to say anything before it was known. Taking a leap and going for what Jinsoul yearned for seemed like yet another stupid dream. Like the one about Jungeun being okay with a relationship between them, being okay with becoming the princess alongside her. She wished she could do something to get those plastic figures to move. Wished they would just go to each other like that's where they belonged. But she had no control over that. She never would.

The world had always been laid out in front of Jinsoul like a map, plain and simple. There was always a plan. She wouldn't ever have to do anything if she didn't want to. All she ever had to do was look pretty and marry a good-looking rich prince, start a family, watch the generations grow up, then die. Those were the only things she'd ever have to do.

It wasn't a problem at first. Seven-year-old Jinsoul never complained, never opened her mouth over anything regarding disagreement, no matter how strong that disagreement was. She was accepting and calm and always so good. The picture-perfect daughter— mommy's little angel, as she would say, and the girl her father could be proud of.

Twelve-year-old Jinsoul never rebelled. She knew her voice now and she knew her stances. She knew now how to get her points across and even how the human cell was set up ("Mom! Do you know what mitochondria are!!" she would cheer excitedly. She was grateful when her mother said no, even when Jinsoul knew she meant yes). She had opinions and she understood her feelings. The world was less of a mystery now— like the map she'd been given was slowly starting to become less like a plan and more like a coloring page, where she got to decide what to make of it, how to fill it. And she painted the page with bright, brilliant colors, smiling along the way. She couldn't rebel— really, what would there be to make Jinsoul want to rebel? She didn't just live a life anymore, now, she lived _her_ life.

Sixteen-year-old Jinsoul never frowned. She learned that it wasn't what people wanted to see. It's not how she was supposed to display herself. It wasn't who she was supposed to be. So she swallowed her sadness and used it as her strength, keeping it as a shield protecting her heart. It made her less vulnerable that way. It made her frown less naturally, because things didn't get to her as easily. She was half the human she used to be, her emotion and judgment taken away from her. But in return, she was given strength and stability. As if nothing could knock her down.

Eighteen-year-old Jinsoul never fought back. Her knight rested a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes— really looked at her, not just eye contact. The kind where you can see a person's soul through their irises. Really studying a person— and told her not to be so scared of the world. She was right, Jinsoul knew. She had long since colored in her world, given it depth and perception and life, and yet she lives it like she knows not of what's in it. That's the fun of it, Jungeun would say, to not know what to expect. When Jinsoul started to deny her, she was told to stop fighting back. To just _listen_. From Jungeun, the words meant no malice, but in perspective, Jinsoul knew that whatever she told her was something to be followed. And so, Jinsoul stopped saying no to people. She stopped being a little forceful and trying to get her way. People would be happier like this.

Twenty-two-year-old Jinsoul never knew what to do. She was always lost and clueless. Everything she once was had been stripped from her, just so she can fit into the box labeled _perfection_. It was difficult, trying to work her way there. But she made it. She's there now. It should be the greatest thing in her life. She loves being kind and helpful, beautiful and cherished, but it felt like everything was misplaced. It was all there, but in the wrong place. She was her except she lived in her body instead of her head. She thought vicariously through others' brains instead of her own, thinking of what they'd want instead of herself. She never had ideas of her own. She lost her courage and she lost her happiness so that she could be the thing that built everyone else's. It was rewarding. But it was exhausting.

There were always restraints. Always a never. Always something she couldn't do. Always something holding her back. She was tired of it. It was so boring.

If only she knew how to break free.

Jinsoul sat up straight when she heard a knock on the door. She stared at the door wide-eyed for a moment until clearing her throat and allowing the person entrance.

The door swung open and revealed Jinsoul's mother, wearing a small smile. She walked into the room and shut the door quietly behind her. Jinsoul's eyes spoke her confusion as she stared up at her smiling mother.

"Mom?" Jinsoul called when her mother was too silent. Her mother could see the way her eyes looked tired and dry. She could tell Jinsoul had been crying. She frowned and looked down at her feet, reminding herself of what she needed to discuss with Jinsoul.

She smiled softly again when her eyes met Jinsoul's. "My dear Jinsoul is growing up so quick..." she cooed, still in disbelief that her little baby was already ready for the world. Jinsoul's gaze only carried more confusion. "Your marriage, your father and I have been planning... We've been in touch with princes all across the country." Jinsoul opened her mouth, but no words came out. She barely knew what to say to her mom.

Her mother continued, "It's... it's very difficult for us to... to make these choices. But we also have to accept that you're a woman now, and we have to let you go soon. You're excited for marriage, aren't you?" Her mother smiled sweetly, like the sugar that sweetened black coffee. But this was too bitter to sweeten, Jinsoul sighed and bit back a frown, nothing about these words felt anything but bitter.

"Oh, sweetheart, I know," her mother calmed, wearing a frown and moving to sit by Jinsoul's side on her bed. She reached her hand out and let it rest on Jinsoul's back. "I know... it's hard to hear this news, I was trying to make it a little exciting for you but... I'm scared too. I never wanted to give you away." The way the sentence was worded felt like a cut to Jinsoul's heart. Her mother didn't have to do this. She didn't have to force her to marry some prince she didn't even know. "I don't want to do this either. You've been in need of love, Jinsoul, I could see it."

Jinsoul scrunched her eyebrows, not wanting to let the words dawn upon her. But it was inevitable, the waves of reality that crashed onto her vulnerable body taking her in. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again, gathering her breaths through her nose, eyes finding comfort in the carpet her feet touched.

"Been— been in need of love..?" Jinsoul mumbled, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I—"

"Jinsoul," her mother said in a soothing voice. "You don't have to explain yourself... I know what love is, I've been in love with your father for many years... And I can see it in your eyes when you look at your knight... I see the way you love her." Jinsoul was surprised when she looked up to see her mom giving her a gentle smile. A smile that told Jinsoul that she was happy and that everything would be okay. "I never thought that my child would find such a beautiful love story, but... you've always been good at proving me wrong," her mother said with an endearing expression, her eyes watering as she placed a hand on top of Jinsoul's.

"Mom," Jinsoul said, almost breathless.

"You love her, Jinsoul. And it's okay with me. I like it when you are happy. And when you're with her... well," she laughed, "I've never seen you happier." A tear slipped from her eye and the same could be said for Jinsoul, so glad that her mother accepted her. She stretched her arms out and wrapped them around her mother in a tight embrace, burying her face in her mother's neck. Her mother felt the tears of Jinsoul land on her skin, but she only smiled more. She only ever wanted Jinsoul to be happy.

"Thank you," Jinsoul sobbed into her mom's shirt. She was smiling harder than she thinks she ever has before. The air felt a little lighter, and a weight that Jinsoul must have been carrying on her back all this time was lifted. This was all she wanted, to be accepted and loved for who she was. "Tell dad I'm sorry," Jinsoul said.

Her mother shook her head. "Do not be sorry, Jinsoul. We love you no matter what. More than anything, we want you to live cheerfully. The princes we've been interviewing for you could make you happy, too. Maybe no one will be able to make you as happy as Jungeun does, but..."

"Will I— will I still have to marry a prince?" Jinsoul asked, pulling away from her mom.

Her mother frowned. "Your father and I are discussing it... But know that we are both accepting of you. The public may not accept you like we do, though. And I'm not sure about having the royal bloodline end so soon..." Jinsoul frowned and sighed, but nodded. She supposed it was the least she could do, if her parents wanted her to carry a royal child. Her parents wanted her to continue their bloodline very badly, and as long as she gets to be happy in the future with Jungeun, it should be okay. But suddenly she realized where Jungeun was right now. How there was a chance that there might not be a future to have with her to begin with if she doesn't return.

But she will return, Jinsoul knows this. She had to stop being doubtful. She had to start recognizing that it's okay to have faith. She smiled at her mother, thankful that they had this talk, thankful that she had someone to lean on right now.

"I have something to show you. We got a letter, Jinsoul," her mother announced in a quiet voice, a grin fighting its way onto her face as she grabbed her daughter's hand and left to go down the stairs.

"What? What is it about?" Jinsoul asked as they slowly made their way to the hallway Jinsoul fell unconscious in the morning before. Her mother's hand was rough, no longer smooth in her own like it used to be. Now, from all the welding and sewing she does, they were tough, and they weren't the same delicate hands they used to be.

Her mother let go of Jinsoul's hand once they approached the same room Jinsoul found her mother in a few days ago, making the sword she assumed was for battle. She opened the door and turned on the light, beckoning Jinsoul to come in and not bothering to shut the door behind them. It is not permitted for anyone besides her mother and whoever her mother brings to be allowed in this hall, anyway.

Her back was turned away from Jinsoul as she walked towards the sword laying on her table, reflecting the overhead light blindingly. She stared into the reflective metal as if trying to pull secrets from herself through her own eyes, as if trying to gather courage.

"What I told you a few days ago is true. You have to be careful now, Jinsoul. Much more careful than before. We don't know what that village wants with you... but I fear every possibility," her mother explained, back still facing Jinsoul.

Jinsoul scrunched her eyebrows, voice caught in her throat before she found it again. "How do you know it has to do with me?"

Her mother kept her lips sealed, still staring at her own reflection, then shutting her eyes and lifting her head to the bulletins pinned on the wall, right above her table. She tore one from the pin that held it, holding the thick, weighted paper in her hand, staring at it, glancing over it, before turning to face Jinsoul.

Jinsoul was more anxious than she was mad at the fact that her mother was hiding information from her. She swallowed the lump of fear growing in her throat when she met her mother's eyes, the only decipherable emotion in her eyes being slight worry and concern. Her mother stretched her arm out, allowing Jinsoul to grab the paper and hold it in her own hand, unsteady, for a second. She licked her dry lips, mouth losing its moisture as she held her breath longer.

"Read it," her mother urged. Jinsoul's eyes flashed up to her's, keeping her stare for a moment, then darted down to the words on the paper, unable to even gather her breath before she started.

_To the Royal Jung Family._

_I am not a citizen of the village you fail to properly control. No longer, am I, should I have said. Not after you have taken my daughter and denied her return. If only you monarchs knew how much it hurt to give her away like that. To have my baby taken from my arms, promise a return, then deny it years later when I inquire again. She deserves a life. This, I cannot take. It's gotten unbearable, this separation. I will get her back, I promise you, and I will not stop until I have. And then, you will know what it is like to part ways from your daughter, too. Evil, that is what you could be correctly called. Evil._

Jinsoul was expecting anything but that. Her mouth fell open, but no words came out. How could she speak after reading such a thing? Her parents aren't evil. They don't take people like that. This lady was crazy— that's all there was to it— she was insane and needed help soon. No one ever took any child from her.

"It's not true," Jinsoul said simply, calmly— she couldn't fear a threat like that if it was false. "She's just crazy, mom. Stop worrying."

Her mother looked down, sighing loudly, drawing it out like she was doing her best to delay whatever would escape her mouth next. "No," she denied.

Jinsoul froze. "No? No what?"

Her mother sighed again, quieter now, and looked desperately into Jinsoul's eyes, pleading her silently to understand. "It is true, Jinsoul."

Jinsoul stared at her mother, eyes trying to focus on anything that would be a giveaway sign she was messing around. She looked urgently for it, for her to drop the eye contact and burst out into hysterical laughter.

When her mother wouldn't relent, she did instead. A laugh rose from Jinsoul's throat, sweetening the air yet somehow only increasing the tension. "You had me for a moment... When did you get the time to make this letter? And plan this out?" Jinsoul asked with a pleading grin, as if begging her mother to answer the way she wanted to hear.

Her mother's look only turned more dejected though. "Sweetheart..." she trailed off, watching Jinsoul's grin fall slowly. "Sit down, please. I have to explain for you to understand."

Jinsoul only backed a careful step away when her mother advanced in her direction. That letter was fake. Or the person who wrote it was crazy. It was unlike her family to take things, let alone _people_ , like that. She wanted to laugh again, but with the way her throat began closing up she thought she might scream.

Jinsoul dropped the letter, listening to it fall onto the floor. It was the only sound that could be heard besides the obnoxiously loud heartbeat in Jinsoul's ears. She looked down at the fallen letter and back up at her mother, eyes conveying the words her mother never wanted to hear.

"So you..." Jinsoul couldn't finish her own sentence. The words felt ugly on her tongue.

"There was no choice, Jinsoul. Let me explain. You were honest with me, so now I'm being honest with you, you know?" she said with a smile. Jinsoul didn't know why she felt so uneasy. She knew she could trust her mother. If she took someone, there must have been a good reason. They must have been a threat to society or some sort of terrible criminal. The way she compared Jinsoul coming out to this was unnerving, though, but she tried to ignore it.

"It's someone we had to get. Our kingdom needed this person. This woman is only mad because she wanted to turn against tradition. But your father and I knew that it was for the greater good of our village to have her here. And... the woman isn't like us, Jinsoul. She is very different," her mother explained simply. Jinsoul breathed, trying to calm her heart. The explanation was broad, but she accepted it with open arms, choosing to listen to that instead of believing her parents were kidnappers.

"If only I could tell you everything..." her mother trailed off, staring out the window instead of into Jinsoul's eyes. "But I promise you, one day you'll find out everything. One day."

"Can't that be now? Today?" Jinsoul implored, taking a step closer to her mother. She sighed and shook her head, looking down towards the floor.

"I need you to go upstairs and clean up your room a little, okay?" her mother said quietly. She looked remorsefully into Jinsoul's eyes, silently telling her things her lips couldn't reveal. Jinsoul only sighed.

"You know the maids are here for a reason," Jinsoul grumbled, picking at her nails, not wanting to make the uncomfortable eye contact with her mother.

Defeatedly, her mother placed a hand on Jinsoul's shoulder, rubbing it endearingly. "Sweetheart, I'm only trying to get your mind off things... I wanted to find something that would take your attention away from Jung— err, her, for a second—" she corrected herself when Jinsoul's eyes flashed with a wave of emotion— "and I thought that... well... never mind, I suppose."

Jinsoul nodded and stepped towards the door to leave the room, voicing her thanks to her mother for trying before making the move to leave. Suddenly, though, a thought flashed through her mind. She stood still as she looked down the hallway, squinting, trying to remember something. It didn't feel right, this hallway, not anymore— and suddenly, Jinsoul realized that nothing felt as safe as it did anymore. Everything felt... it felt wrong. It's weird. It's odd, how much the atmosphere of the castle changed recently, and it's all because of—

"Jinsoul?" her mother asked cautiously. Jinsoul turned on her heel fast, eyes wide as she sputtered words to her mother.

"Mom," Jinsoul began, words coming out fast and frantic, "Mom— do you know about the woman?" Her mom only scrunched her eyebrows, her tell to make Jinsoul elaborate. "She— she's always in these hallways, the rooms she's not supposed to be in... She was in this hallway last night! Maybe, maybe—"

"Sweetie," her mother tried intervening.

"—she has something to do with these letters..! I mean, how else would they get here, and—"

"Sweetheart."

"—it makes sense! Think about it! Why would someone not in the family be in the thro— the throne room! And this hallway, where even I'm not allowed most of the time!"

"Jinsoul!" her mother interrupted loudly, cutting through her speech finally. She analyzed her daughter for a moment before moving to feel her forehead, checking for her temperature.

"Mom!" Jinsoul exclaimed, grabbing her mother's wrist in attempt to get her off of her.

"Are you feeling sick, Jinsoul? Have you been... seeing things?" she asked, with all seriousness in her eyes. Jinsoul blinked, staring blankly at her for a moment. She blinked again, harder. Her mother thought she was crazy. She thought she was seeing things.

"You... you don't believe me?" Jinsoul asked slowly, carefully, unsure if she really wanted the answer, even if she already had it. But her mother's lack of a response solidified that thought. She laughed incredulously, stepping away from her mother and looking around the room, as if reality had been shifted. "You don't believe me."

"It's not like that, Jinso—"

"Don't," Jinsoul cut off quickly. "Don't say it's not like that. What else could it be then?" She stared at her mother, but instead of being mad at her, she felt her resolve deteriorate; she was looking at the smartest woman she knew, the one who introduced her to the world, showed her every fine detail of the journey of life and let her roam the journey freely, while she watched with soft eyes and a smile. She was looking at the woman who always knew what she was talking about, knew the world much better than Jinsoul did, because in the grand scheme of things, Jinsoul was no better than any other person these days. She was still just as dumb as anyone else her age may be. She was still just another body that would be long forgotten when time comes, and her name would never go down in history. She didn't know where she was meant to be yet, what she was meant to do. She didn't even know herself. She's lost herself a long time ago, she realized. She's lost that feisty girl with a passion for greatness and exploration. Far away in her memory, she still sees her, though— a big smile and a torn dress, muddy shoes and her hair still beautiful with the style her mom adorned her with. That was the girl her mom raised. The woman Jinsoul was now, the girl society raised.

Jinsoul's eyes grew sad, pathetic the longer she stared into her mother's eyes. "I'm going crazy, aren't I?" She forced a laugh and smiled as if it was no big deal, like it was all a joke and everything was dandy and funny. But her mother knew better than that.

"You're okay, Jinsoul... These things happen. It's just how life goes." Her arms wrapped around Jinsoul, resting her chin on the top of Jinsoul's head. Her hands smoothed the fabric on Jinsoul's back, slowly going up and down, like she was still a baby that needed all this care and affection. Jinsoul has never felt more pathetic in her life. "When you're upset, your mind starts making things up... it's because Jungeun is gone, your mind is filling in blanks where they don't belong."

Jinsoul wanted to say no, wanted to tell her that what she was saying couldn't be true. She first saw this woman before she even knew Jungeun was leaving. But somewhere in her head, she knew her mother was right, that this person was somehow created by her fear of loneliness and leaving Jungeun behind. She didn't let herself think about it anymore, deciding it was easier to leave it at that. She was just crazy.

And that brave little girl craving greatness seemed even farther away, now. She closed her eyes and shut off her mind a bit, leaning further into her mom's chest, listening to her heartbeat. A steady rhythm that kept Jinsoul grounded for now, letting herself know that someone was here. Someone was here and she was going to be okay. She isn't alone.

\---

It was sometime during the darkest hours of the night when Jinsoul left her mother's side. They did nothing but stand in the same room for hours, and yet even that gave Jinsoul a sense of comfort, a sense of self— even when she felt like she was slipping away. From what, she didn't know. From herself, possibly. Letting go of her own hand, slowly, letting herself fall and clash upon the ground to shatter into thousands of pieces. Eventually, she'd be broken. She didn't know how to come to terms with that.

She didn't know what to do other than sit on her bed and remember the events that had taken just this week. It felt like everything happened in those few days alone— like her world had gone from the greatest ascension to the lowest pit in the blink of an eye. She almost smiled as she remembered the feeling of her lips on Jungeun's, remembering the way the knight brought her to places and made moments of them, made memories for the two to reminisce on. The utopia Jinsoul was sent to with a press of their lips alone was almost scary, but the only thing that frightened Jinsoul about it was how quickly she realized she had fallen in love. She wondered if Jungeun felt it too, felt her heart tremor and quicken, even at the simplest actions of hers. She wondered. And, strangely, she hoped. Hoped that the feelings developing in her chest were mutual, to be reciprocated rather than one-sided. She could almost smile, remembering those times of her heart fluttering and eyes sparkling, wide and full of warmth for the girl she always had them on.

But with that were the painful memories of letting her go, saying goodbye and leaving only the imagination to what the hell she must be doing now. Jinsoul wondered if Jungeun was thinking of her, too; she wondered if she was pondering the stupid things, too. Like what she ate today, if it was eventful, how the first day away was. Jinsoul wondered if Jungeun has fought anyone yet, if she's even stumbled upon the enemies. Maybe they're still traveling. But that's unlikely, Jinsoul knew, it couldn't have been too far.

She remembered again what Jungeun said about the stars. The same set that she'd be looking up at each night. The stars carried their hope, the passageway for their affection, the only way they could send it to each other now. She bent to kneel on the ground, knees digging into the soft carpet, arms crossed on the windowsill to act as Jinsoul's headrest, laying sideways to look up at the twinkling stars. She wished it was Jungeun's shoulder she could be leaning on, welcoming her warmth and scent and everything Jungeun had into her arms. Jinsoul smiled up at the stars, knowing somehow that Jungeun would be looking at them too.

Time was frozen for a second when Jinsoul closed her eyes and saw that charming smile, the tough aura she built up shattering in Jinsoul's presence, heart eyes that the sky borrowed stars from. She saw soft lips and wide eyes, a blush-filled face and the way the corners of her lips shook nervously, scared to let Jinsoul go. It didn't feel so long ago. Of course, it wasn't, really— just a couple days ago— but it felt like just a few minutes ago in her head. Everything was still processing, and she didn't fully take in the fact that yeah, it's going to be a _long_ time until she sees Jungeun again. Slowly, she saw the adorable smile on Jungeun's lips shrink and disintegrate until she looked scared and hopeless again. The look she wore when she opened up to Jinsoul about her fears of leaving behind the only family she's ever known, her other knights. The wavering smile she threw Jinsoul when it was time to leave. She wanted to be strong so that she could protect Jinsoul when she was weak. But Jinsoul always knew better than that. She could read Jungeun easily, and even if she was the bravest soul on earth, she was still human. She'll always be only human.

Jinsoul hoped that maybe war wouldn't be so unforgiving on Jungeun. A kind soul like her's didn't deserve to deteriorate so soon.

A soft knock sounded at her door, cautious and quiet. "Hello?"

Jinsoul recognized Haseul's voice and sighed, opening her eyes, she kept them locked on the graceful stars dancing through the dark sky. She didn't have the energy to open the door for her.

"It's unlocked," Jinsoul answered, voice barely coherent through her soft mumbling. The door creaked open behind her, and she could feel Haseul's sad gaze falling onto her. She must have looked so pitiful right now. Even her pride couldn't get her to straighten her posture.

Haseul frowned, knowing how painfully difficult it had to be. Love was a hard thing to give up. It's even harder when you don't know the next time you'll see the woman your heart played symphonies to.

"I'm okay," Jinsoul assured, still staring up at the sky through the window. Her voice was unwavering and convincing, but Haseul knew that the phrase was more for Jinsoul than herself. Haseul didn't stop by to speak. She was only here to make sure Jinsoul's sanity was still intact. She was glad Jinsoul knew how to keep herself together, and she knew that Jinsoul was strong enough to live through years without Jungeun; because although she may be drowning in sorrow to the point where it's rubbing off on Haseul, she believed in a magical thing called hope. It carried Jinsoul through every situation that need be, every difficult decision and tough time being made softer and more bearable with the blanket of hope shielding her from destruction. She knows that Jinsoul doesn't know how strong and hopeful she is. She might even disagree if Haseul brought it up to her, but the fact would never change. She was just as brave and courageous as any of the knights were.

She kept her calm and knew how to handle situations better than even her parents, who had years more of royal experience than her. She went about things in a sure manner, knowing that her decisions would lead to the best outcomes. She's watched her let go of so many qualities over the years, so many things that made Jinsoul herself, in pursuit of becoming the perfect princess to the town, someone they could take pride in and show affection towards without embarrassment. She wasn't supposed to be adventurous, she wasn't supposed to want more than she already had, but she did— she wanted to get to know the world, to give it the details she's been yearning to memorize for so long. She always watched the knights in awe, wanting to be half as amazing as them. If only Jinsoul knew how amazing she really, truly was already. Because even as she threw out everything that makes her _her_ , her hope was something that would be stuck with her forever. And that was something Haseul admired. She wished that Jinsoul could only recognize that the only thing stopping her from seeing and being everything she's wanted, was herself.

Jinsoul felt weak. She wasn't supposed to let others see her this way, sporting a frown and posture meek. She was supposed to be happy and smiling. Never sad. She was never supposed to be human, the way Jungeun was. She was meant to be a princess— meant to be a symbol, born into an image rather than illustrating one. She was always grateful for what she's gotten, but she only wished to be able to mold the shape of her own life instead, tired of the cookie-cutter princess she was taught to be.

"You know, you'll never be able to disappoint us," Haseul cut through her thoughts with a warm tone and tender smile, one that Jinsoul held onto when she looked at her over her shoulder. It made her chest flutter with a sense of self. "You just have to be what you want to be. It's what Jungeun would want, too. You have so much hope. Really."

Jinsoul hummed, thinking for a moment. Thinking about Jungeun, how maybe she was thinking of Jinsoul right now, the way Jinsoul was thinking of her. She appreciated Haseul's words. But she'll never know how to put them into action. She forgot how to do things for herself a long time ago.

"I don't know _what_ I want to be," Jinsoul sighed, turning so that her back was leaning against the wall and she was facing Haseul completely.

"Sure you do," Haseul asserted with a smile. A smile that was so genuine and friendly that it made Jinsoul realize again that she should be happy too. Happy that Haseul was always there for her, always willing to help. She truly was the greatest friend to accompany Jinsoul. She knew everything so well. She always seemed to know what to do. "It's in your heart. It's always been, but you're just locking it away from yourself, Jinsoul. You're adventurous, you seek action and thrive off of education. You like to learn, always want to know more about everything. You're bright and bubbly and sure of yourself. You're not as emotionless as you want yourself to be, either," Haseul laughed. "You're allowed to be sad. You're allowed to want more out of this world, too."

Jinsoul smiled gratefully at Haseul. She was the best. "But I just don't know how to do it."

Haseul nodded. It was quiet for a minute, the two of them staring at each other with soft, pleading eyes. They were both really asking for something from the other. All Jinsoul needed was closure, comfort; she needed someone to let her know that the future carried more than just routines and royalty, and that she was destined to be so much more than she's making herself be. But her brain screamed that all she needed was to hear someone tell her that she was crazy, that everything she dreams of is unachievable. Because otherwise, that voice inside her head telling her to reach for the stars gets louder every day. All Haseul needed was for Jinsoul to realize that she had so much potential, and that anything she wanted to do was never outside the realms of possibility. She needed Jinsoul to understand, to come to terms that curiosity is great, a feeling that she should never chase away; along with the feeling of yearning for more, to reach out and cut the strings that held her back for her entire life.

"Then I guess you'll have to learn, huh?" Haseul answered, her smile confident and strong. She wanted to watch light flicker on behind Jinsoul's eyes, gears turn in her head, wanted to watch her face light up with a big grin that spoke a million words. And even though she only got half of that— a small, but noticeable smile adorning her face now, eyes brighter than they used to be, a layer of dullness being replaced with a bright, unstoppable glow, one that asked Jinsoul "Where should we start?". Haseul knew, one day, she'll get to her. She'll get through to this stubborn girl, the one with a future so blindingly bright it was inescapable.

And maybe it was as easy as that. Jinsoul could fall asleep that night with hope still gleaming in her eyes, and wake up with that same beautiful glow that she was left off with. All she had to do was let go of Jungeun, right? She was upset Jungeun was gone, but Haseul made Jinsoul realize that she did have so much hope, enough to spare tons of it on faith that Jungeun will return soon enough, safely. Just don't think about it, right? That's the key to forgetting. Just don't think about it. Eventually, who knows, maybe she'd forget Jungeun herself! Even a pep talk as small as that one encouraged Jinsoul to get out of bed today and interact with the maids she hasn't talked to in a while.

"Jiwoo," Jinsoul greeted, a smile on her face that instantly brightened Jiwoo's expression. She was working on tidying the counters.

"Hello, Princess. It's awfully early for you to be up!" Jiwoo giggled.

"Ah... I suppose. But I was just thinking, and... y'know, maybe I should stop moping around. It would only make me more sad." Of course, a hole was still pierced violently through Jinsoul's heart. She couldn't get rid of the hollow feeling courtesy of it, but maybe it was better to ignore it. She wore a smile, grabbing a rag to help Jiwoo clean the counter across the room. "I mean, what's one person gonna do in my life? I'll be fine without them, you know? It's just—" Jinsoul bit her tongue, scrubbing harsher at the counters the more she talked— "just that, life changes, it will go on. And I can't really move forward in life if I hang onto someone that only makes me sad."

"Oh," Jiwoo said sweetly when she turned and saw Jinsoul so glad to help, "I've got it, you don't have to—"

"It's fine," Jinsoul said through a tight smile. She let out a breath of air and loosened her smile, focusing on just cleaning the counter. The same spot she's been over sixty times. Because maybe the more she wipes over it, it will actually wipe away the incessant need to yell out and cry right now. She was happy, fine, and dandy, though— so she just kept scrubbing, biting her lip and blinking until tears weren't blurring her vision anymore, rolling down her cheeks quickly, soaking into the collar of Jinsoul's shirt instead.

"Jinsoul, wait—" Jiwoo began, forgetting her formal language, how she wasn't allowed to refer to her as anything except Princess or Princess Jinsoul. She wiped her thumb on Jinsoul's cheek, trying to wipe away her tears, but Jinsoul only swat at Jiwoo's wrist to get her away, letting go of the rag and backing up until her back hit the counter. She cupped her face, covering her eyes from the maid. She couldn't even act like she was fine. Like she wasn't missing Jungeun.

"Hey, hey," Jiwoo said slowly, grabbing gently onto Jinsoul's chin to lift her head up.

"I'm really pathetic right now, aren't I?" Jinsoul asked through a meaningless laugh. "I really thought I could let her go..."

"Jinsoul, you just need more time, okay? Separation is hard. Jungeun was someone important to you, I know that. But you can't act like it isn't true, and you can't act like you can forget about her." Jiwoo's hand smoothed over Jinsoul's shoulder, and Jinsoul knew that this was true, but her feelings were still so fucking conflicting and confusing— how the hell was she supposed to be the greatest version of herself if she can't even get over some girl who only left days ago? "Go get some more sleep, please. You need it."

Jiwoo walked Jinsoul to her bedroom. And that's where Jinsoul stayed. For so long. Too long. It's the only place she had safety in anymore, where no one would interrupt her thoughts to tell her that she should deny her destiny or become someone the village wouldn't want to see. She was prim and proper, and everyone loved her. She loved it. But... but, fuck!! She, she just— couldn't fucking function. She punched her pillow, closing her eyes tight. She's lost track of how many days it's been since she's isolated herself from everyone, only occasionally leaving for water and snacks. She was losing her mind.

She couldn't tell how fast time was passing. Couldn't tell if each night was coming too soon or not soon enough. Watching the bright beautiful stars pained her now, ached her heart and made her want to deny reality all over again, deny that Jungeun was still alive because then she'd have to force herself to just fucking move on, and get a grip goddamnit! The only comfort she got now were in those stars, and yet it was the excruciating source of her pain as well. And she could never stop watching them, closing her eyes to fall in love all over again with Jungeun. She missed her. She missed her so dearly. She was the only thing left that let Jinsoul know she would be okay.

She'll come back.

Jinsoul knows it deep in her heart. Even as everyone else began worrying about the war and how dangerously long it's taking to conclude, Jinsoul kept that same, sparkling hope, the one Haseul praised and complimented. She knew that Jungeun wouldn't give up on her that easily. She was a fighter. She'll always fight for Jinsoul. The night passed again, quieter each time than it was the last.

She'll come back.

Jinsoul was sleeping when she heard a knock on her door. She barely had the energy to tell the person— who she knew was Haseul— to come in. She grumbled out the words and waited for the telltale sign of the door opening to look up from where her face was buried in her pillow.

"Jinsoul. I'm worried," Haseul began, getting to the point immediately. "It's been weeks. You shouldn't isolate yourself like this."

"Don't be worried. I know she'll come back. She will," Jinsoul said confidently. Her facade shattered when Haseul's frown deepened. "She will, right?" Jinsoul's pleading eyes looked up to Haseul from where she was now sitting on her bed. She almost begged Haseul to answer with the one word she wanted, the one that would make Jinsoul smile and frown at the same time. Haseul could tell how bad Jinsoul was getting. She needed Jinsoul to realize that she couldn't do this to herself any longer, or else she might go mad. Jinsoul frowned slowly as she watched Haseul's face, still empathetic and upset at Jinsoul's state.

"Haseul. I just... I just don't know what I'm gonna do," Jinsoul sighed heavily, feeling nothing except hollow, like she had been emptied from the inside out. She got out of bed to walk up to Haseul, hugging her tight and swaying in her arms, her head tucked against Haseul's chest, still frowning, but endlessly appreciating the comfort Haseul could always offer.

"She will come back for you, Princess. She will never stop fighting for you," Haseul assured. But words could only carry so much weight now.

Jinsoul only sighed again. Haseul wore that same empathetic look when she considered her situation further. It must be difficult to give up on someone that close to you like that. To wonder every day if you'll ever see them again. She could barely imagine it. She brushed Jinsoul's hair with her fingers comfortingly, sighing through her nose.

Haseul put her other hand on Jinsoul's shoulder and massaged her tense muscles for just a moment. "You should sit back down," Haseul advised when she noticed Jinsoul's quickly watering eyes as she pulled away from her chest to stare into Haseul's eyes. It wasn't long until Jinsoul buried her head in Haseul's neck and let her tears flow freely, crying because she was only wishing for Jungeun's safety— wishing being a word that carries no certainty.

Carefully, Haseul wrapped one arm around Jinsoul's back and the other to pick her up at her knees, leading her up the bed frame to lay her on her mattress. She needed rest desperately, that much Haseul could tell. She gulped when she reached Jinsoul's bed, trying to go back to stand at the doorway— she wasn't even allowed to step a foot into her room, so that much was already too much— and felt Jinsoul cling onto Haseul tighter when she tried to let her go. She sighed quietly, looking down at her friend that she wanted to help so badly.

Jinsoul opened her eyes once she knew that she had run out of tears. She met Haseul's face, the look of concern and pity making Jinsoul feel sorry for having Haseul have to take care of her in this condition. Haseul tried to shoot Jinsoul a reassuring smile, but she wasn't sure if it did much other than coax Jinsoul into sporting a seemingly fake one back. Finally, Haseul let the girl go.

"Go to sleep," she said, hoping that miraculously Jinsoul would listen. It was wishful thinking, but she can dream.

Jinsoul stared with unfocused eyes, the circles underneath them emphasizing the fact that it's been a while since she's gotten a good rest. She blinked and nodded slowly, sitting up straight in her bed.

"Okay," Jinsoul obliged easier than she ever has before. She sat on the edge of her bed, head down into her chest like the floor was the most interesting thing she's looked at. She sat there motionless for a while.

Haseul was almost surprised at the easy obedience, but she made herself understand that Jinsoul had to be by herself for some time. She needed to collect her thoughts and wake tomorrow as a matured person. Just as Haseul was about to close the door and say goodnight, Jinsoul laughed hollowly, in a way that sounded like a chuckle people use in spite of themselves and their problems.

"Jinsoul?" Haseul called. Jinsoul didn't laugh this time as she registered her last thought again, a more sullen expression taking over her face instead.

"What's that saying about love and war?" Jinsoul asked, raising her head finally to look up at Haseul.

"I— uh," Haseul stammered.

Jinsoul soundlessly laughed. She knew Haseul was too nice to say anything, but she also knew Haseul better than that. Haseul was a smart girl, she knew a lot more than what Jinsoul did. She knew that Haseul knew her laughing wasn't concealing any of her true feelings. Even someone a thousand times dumber than her could see that. Because anyone could really see that all isn't as fair as it's said to be in love and war.

"Nothing seems fair about this," Jinsoul acknowledged. Those same unfocused eyes found their way onto Jinsoul's face again, staring at the bureau in front of her until everything blurred.

Haseul frowned at the princess, seeing the way she's slowly losing her hope of her knight's return. She too was losing faith in the words 'she'll be back'.

"I think you should get some sleep," Haseul suggested. Jinsoul immediately brought her eyes back to Haseul, mouth opening to say something. "Please," Haseul begged before Jinsoul could get a word in.

Jinsoul groaned and agreed, letting her body go limp as her back hit the mattress. Her toes were still swaying against the carpet as her legs swung back and forth. She rubbed her eyes hard with the heels of her palms to try and get Jungeun out of her mind. It's been weeks. It's been weeks. It's really been—

"Jinsoul." Haseul sounded stern now, like she was demanding Jinsoul to get some sleep.

"Sorry," Jinsoul muttered and crawled into her bed. She didn't bother pulling up her blankets over her body when she heard the door shut. She tried so hard, she promises. But she still couldn't get any shuteye.

Maybe Jungeun won't come back.

Jinsoul felt like shit. All night long, all she could think about was Jungeun, how they've been apart so long that she's longing for how her skin felt underneath her touch, how she thrived in her presence, how her smile got her heart beating faster and faster each time she wore it. She was longing for the things that made her fall for Jungeun. So maybe this was it. She was hopelessly in love with a person she would barely know in a few weeks time. It's been so long. And while she's frequently getting updated on the situation of the war, she still doesn't know when it's stopping, when it will be over, when she'll see Jungeun again. She needed to see Jungeun again. She pouted as she found herself staring up at the starry sky yet again.

She watched the garden glowing beneath the moonlight. Somehow the moon blessed those plants so gorgeously, making them even prettier beneath her light. The mysterious elegance the night brought upon the land was always something that had intrigued Jinsoul. She always wanted to explore the world underneath the dazzling moonlight, feel a midnight breeze against her skin, listen to nocturnal animals sing and the crickets chirp. The day was a given beauty, a known land of wonders that everyone has grown familiar with. But the night kissed the earth beautifully, wrapping it in the moon's embrace, dimming the world and letting everything seem still for so long.

The nighttime air hung thick around the many colors of the garden, blanketing the plants under its mystery and letting the luminescent fireflies zoom all around it. Jinsoul remembered dearly the night Jungeun took her outside, to the suiting room by her training grounds. She remembered how the grass felt against her bare feet, how she hated it until warming up to it. She remembered how goosebumps raised on her skin as the breeze kissed it. How much more magnificent and enchanted everything looked as it basked beneath the moonlight, even Jungeun's beauty made impossibly prettier, as the moon decided that she, too, was a wonder of the earth. How her eyes seemed to shine brighter then, like the midnight sky allowed the stars to jump from the sky into Jungeun's irises, there to swim and gleam mindlessly, twinkling for Jinsoul to gawk embarrassingly at. It really was embarrassing how much of a fool she was for Jungeun. She smiled warmly, her heart beginning to beat faster like it always did when she saw those eyes. She smiled brighter. Her heart was recalling Jungeun again. She got out a piece of paper and a pen, writing down some of her thoughts as she still sat by the windowsill, humming to herself quietly.

And there was of course the time right in that garden. Jinsoul's first kiss. She dare not tell a soul of what happened, first kisses being sacred, supposed to be saved for the husband she was supposed to have, but even if the secret was one between their two hearts and none other, Jinsoul was maddeningly okay with that. Jungeun's lips were always soft and warm on Jinsoul's, and it was always so different than anything else they did together. It was like their hearts met each other, could become one as long as their lips were connected. Jinsoul's heart leaped into her throat, as if wanting to return back to Jungeun, to have this entire thing over with so it can return home into Jungeun's welcoming, loving hands. Perhaps that's when Jinsoul figured out she had it bad. That she was so helplessly head-over-heels in love with her knight. She should have frowned at herself for that, but she somehow found herself grinning.

Before getting to reminisce more of their memories, Jungeun noticed a light far off in the woods. She squinted, figuring it must be another firefly, but as it got closer, the light was far too dark of a yellow and not to mention large to be that of a firefly's. She leaned closer towards the window, focusing hard on the slowly moving light. In a minute, Jinsoul could see that the light was approaching the castle, and that behind the light— a handheld lantern— was a figure wrapped in black; the figure was tall, but that's the best Jinsoul could discern of it. It was scarily close to the castle now, and fear crawled up Jinsoul's veins and left her stomach feeling queasy.

Jinsoul scrunched her brows as she looked through the glass of her window, making sure she knew what she saw. When she could confirm the figure that she saw pass through the acres of the castle yard, she jumped towards her door to leave immediately, letting her letter rest on the windowsill. She grabbed a cloak and tied it to cover herself, running down the stairs as quickly and quietly as she could.

She knew she couldn't go out one of the doors. It was too dangerous, the guards would catch her— a sense of déjà vu filling her body as she recalled a moment similar to this, when a reassuring smile and a tight grip on her hand coaxed her into jumping out a window at a time similar to this one. She knew what to do. Thank god for Jungeun, really— even if she told Jinsoul not to do these kinds of things when she wasn't around. Quick and quiet, Jinsoul charged towards the end of the long hallway, opening the window carefully, making sure it wasn't loud or squeaky. She sat on the windowsill, gathering her breath. She forgot how terrifying it was to look down from a story up. She bit her lip, wasting time until she saw the lantern's light illuminate the grass, frighteningly close to the castle now. Sucking in a sharp breath, she pushed herself from the windowsill without allowing herself to think twice about it, knowing hesitation would make her landing even faultier than it already would be. And, predictably, she didn't stick the landing too well— laying flat on the grass for a good thirty seconds as she began deciding who she'd give her will to, and cursing the grass for being a lot damn harder of a surface than you'd think it would be.

After contemplating whether or not her back was broken, she got up onto her feet swiftly, rotating her back just in case. She squinted, looking for the same warm, yellow light that taunted her earlier. Her eyes lit up as they caught sight of it, bolting as fast as she could towards the light, smirking at the unforgettable feeling of adrenaline coursing through her veins like lightning; she loved it, and she hasn't felt this alive since Jungeun left. For the moment, she could forget she was a princess who had duties to uphold, a title to wear proudly, and an image to fit into perfectly. She could pretend she was a brave, adventurous girl, mapping out the world with her bare hands and learning each thing about it along the way. She thought she must have looked pretty cool, too, with her hair flowing in long waves behind her, glowing under the bright moonlight, her dark cloak flying behind her like a cape, her legs moving faster than they ever have before, bare feet pounding against the grass. She smiled wider as she recognized the feeling of pride swelling in her chest. The recovery of that small piece of herself she shut away for so long, denying to identify with her at all— the little girl who had the world handed to her. She had already colored it in, painted it vibrantly with her every teardrop, heartbeat, giggle— it's been here all along, this entire world. It was just up to her what to make of it.

Though she knows she could never be a hero... she wanted to try out being the one to save the day for once. To let people see that although polite and charismatic, she was capable, and underneath the barriers she put up was a strong, determined woman, waiting for her chance to make a mark on the world. She was everything she had to be and more. She thought about Jungeun, smiling, knowing that she's becoming the hero of her own story, too, somewhere not too far from Jinsoul right now.

When the tall figure was closer, Jinsoul could see clearly that it was that same elderly woman, the same one she's been seeing, and suddenly, her heart sunk. This was another hallucination, wasn't it? Her feet stopped, planting themselves forcefully into the grass, gripping onto reality and blinking multiple times, trying to get the visions to go away. She almost laughed at herself. How was she so pitiful? She should have known better. She was a fool to believe she could be a hero like Jungeun.

No matter what, the stupid hallucinations wouldn't go away. No matter how many times Jinsoul blinked, no matter how hard she closed her eyes— she always opened them back up to the same sight. She's never been more frustrated in her life, never. It's just... She didn't know what was going on anymore. She balled her fists, angry tears welling in her eyes. She can't catch one fucking break!

"Go! Go away!" Jinsoul shouted in aggravation, bending over to press her forehead against the cool grass. She heard the stepping on the grass stop at that. She lifted her head up cautiously, slowly, as if still in disbelief if anything's really happening.

"Ah, the princess," the woman greeted with a smile, though her tone was anything but warm and friendly. Jinsoul wasn't used to that. She was used to strangers loving and praising her immediately, and all she had to do was smile at them. Then she realized how stupid she must have looked. Immediately, she got up to her feet and brushed off her knees, bowing to the elderly woman. Despite being incredibly suspicious of her (because of her personality and just if she's real in general), she knew better than to treat an elder with little respect. If she truly was going crazy, then at least she wasn't beating some hallucination up instead.

"Good evening, Miss..?" Jinsoul trailed off, standing back up from her bow.

"Kim, Miss Kim," she filled in. Miss Kim. Why did that name sound so familiar?

"Right. Miss Kim, if you don't mind, may I ask whY—" Jinsoul's voice crescendo-ed at the end before it cut off as the woman grabbed onto Jinsoul's arm and flipped her body so that she hit the ground on her stomach. She couldn't even roll over in pain before the woman dragged her up by the collar of her shirt and walked towards a tree, maneuvering the two of them so that they couldn't be seen from the windows.

"Jung Jinsoul, I believe we don't know each other, hm?" Miss Kim's smile was sickeningly sweet, her eyes scanning Jinsoul's body up and down, giving her a once-over before her hands dug farther into her shirt, nails clawing at Jinsoul's skin even through the fabric. Jinsoul grunted, face moving to the side so her cheek was against the bark of the tree.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Jinsoul asked, voice thick with a grumble. "Who the fuck are you?!"

"Well, I'm Miss Kim," she introduced, ignoring Jinsoul's questions completely. "And of course I know you. Everybody knows you, right?"

"What do you want?!" Jinsoul questioned frantically again.

"There's a few things," she said with a shrug, voice calm and steady, not nearly as shaky and fervent as Jinsoul's. Jinsoul grunted, pushed farther into the tree, her chest aching with the pressure being forced against it once her hands left the collar of her shirt and pressed against her collarbones instead. Jinsoul's heart beat quick beneath her hands, scared that tonight was the last one she'd be able to survive.

"L-like?" Jinsoul pressed.

"Hmm..." she hummed, pretending to be deep in thought.

"Just— fucking, spit it out!" Jinsoul yelled, eyes shutting in pain.

"I suppose I could tell you... in a few days," she said, smiling. Jinsoul would have gawked at her if she weren't focusing on keeping herself breathing right now. "You know very well that I could kill you right now." Jinsoul swallowed thickly, gulping down every single one of her thoughts, all loud, screaming at her for being so stupid and weak. She kicked Jinsoul's shin when she didn't respond.

"Yes!" Jinsoul choked out.

"And I suppose I'll spare you your life... As long as you keep your mouth—" she made a motion with one of her hands as a zipper going over her mouth— "shut." Her hand returned to Jinsoul's chest, keeping her pinned and defenseless.

"Wh-what?" She was getting lightheaded now, vision darkening. Breathing became a more difficult task by the second as her hands forced pressure right by her neck.

"I know everything, Jinsoul. You've been telling your mother about me... Luckily the stupid little bitch doesn't believe you, though. Convinced her sweet daughter is going crazy... what a shame." Her grin was sadistic.

"Get— off!" She tried gripping Miss Kim's wrists and pushing her hands away, but that only led to Jinsoul colliding against the tree even harder, pushed back with all the woman's force when she kneed Jinsoul in the stomach. Miss Kim retreated her hands, dusting them off as if Jinsoul's skin was filthy, and took a step back, eyeing Jinsoul once again as she struggled to catch her breath, bent over with her hands on her knees.

"I suppose I'll be seeing you around then, huh?" She smiled, walking off to retrieve her lantern. Jinsoul was about to stop the woman until she noticed her walking off into the shadows of the woods again. She breathed heavily, wiping blood from off her cheek where the tree scratched her. She pulled up the hood from her cloak and followed her path for a minute.

"Hey!" she called loudly after a hopeless search. "Miss Kim! I never agreed to shit!" She raised her fists defensively, ready for the elderly woman to jump out from anywhere and attack. Her head whipped around, eyes having difficulty adjusting to the darkness of the woods, the tall trees blocking out most of the moon and starlight.

"Come back, you— you—" Jinsoul couldn't think of a word. Damn, being a bitch was hard. "I'm not letting you win without a fight!" Jinsoul flung her body around constantly now, spinning around to see where she'd be sneaking up on her. But she got nothing. She lowered her fists, swallowing the lump in her throat. She was not going insane. That was definitely real. There was no way that could have been even remotely made up.

"Jinsoul!" a voice, stern but obviously smiling, called. Jinsoul turned, jaw dropped in surprise. She was so dead.

Her father ran up to her with a lantern in his hands, the light in it white, not like the elder woman's yellow. She prepared herself for a verbal beating, but instead, she looked at her father's expression that was excited and warm.

"You're lucky I'm too happy to comment on you being in the woods— not to mention at four in the morning— but... we have received great news!" he exclaimed. Jinsoul smiled, pulling down the hood of her cloak. Her head perked up with interest, eyes bright and shining even in the lack of luminescence. She nodded eagerly, urging her father to continue. His grin only widened at her reaction. "The war... we have won!" he cheered, wrapping Jinsoul in a hug, spinning her around out of great relief and utter excitement. "I have never doubted our soldiers!"

Jinsoul could barely hear him over the sound of her heart thudding in her ears, her grin so wide and bright her face hurt so bad. It was over. She laughed euphorically, the war was over!

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Jinsoul squealed. Already, she'd forgotten about the past twenty minutes. "When are they coming back? The soldiers?"

Her father released the hug in favor of smiling fondly at her, holding her shoulders. "They're already at the castle, everyone is celebrating." Jinsoul's eyes widened, embarrassed that she was busy fighting someone rather than seeing Jungeun again—

_Seeing Jungeun again_!

Immediately, she squealed, charging towards the castle at full speed. Jungeun was here! Jungeun was here!

She ran through the front doors, face still bright and so remarkably happy, her smile like no other before. Excitement rushed through her veins, scanning the room carefully for Jungeun. She couldn't seem to find her like that, not over the many heads of people crowding the room already. She tugged off her cloak and folded it in her arms, knowing how weird she must have looked. She twisted her head in each direction, with still no sign of her knight. So she walked around the room instead, calling out her name every now and then, as if coaxing her into going over to her like a cat or something.

"Mom!" Jinsoul yelled over to her mother, catching her attention immediately. "Mom, hey, do you know where Jungeun is?"

Her mother thought for a moment. "Haven't seen her. Did you check the corners of the room?"

"Yep," Jinsoul confirmed.

"Groups of soldiers?"

"Yep."

"Snack bar?"

"Yep," Jinsoul said, popping the 'p' sound at the end.

"Hmm... then I'd just say not to worry about it for now, sweetie, okay? We're celebrating, have some fun! We won!" she cheered. Jinsoul nodded, and suddenly her face wasn't as bright and happy anymore, growing worried and confused instead. Has no one seen her? What happened to her?

Jinsoul trudged herself up the stairs, staring down the quiet hallway. Her eyes widened when she heard footsteps near her.

"Jungeun?" Jinsoul called, eyes wide. She turned around instantly, her body moving before her mind. Her eyes scanned across the room until they found the figure standing there in the doorway, the one with the stupidly large smile and same tiny laugh Jinsoul's always known. "Jungeun!"

She didn't even process anything— couldn't have— before running and jumping onto Jungeun, dropping the cloak that was in her hands, and embracing her in wide-open arms and a giant, warm smile. They toppled onto the ground quickly due to Jinsoul's rush, but neither seemed to care. They could only bask in the familiar peace they felt in each other's arms. And no sooner was it when their eyes began spouting tears like faucets, the emotion being all warmth and euphoria. They can't remember the last time they were this happy.

"You can't leave again. I won't let you," Jinsoul laughed joyously through her tears, sitting up and looking into Jungeun's eyes. Still welcoming and godlike. They haven't changed. She hasn't changed. God, was this really happening? This can't be real... Jinsoul felt like she was soaring on cloud nine. She felt her heart heat up each time Jungeun shot that charming smile her way.

Jungeun pulled herself up to sit in front of Jinsoul, cupping her face with her hands— calloused and rough, more than usual, Jinsoul noted. Jungeun blinked the tears out of her eyes so she could see Jinsoul properly, admiring the beauty before her. She looked tired, like she hasn't gotten sleep for days. But she was still bright and glowing, her aura the same as Jungeun always felt it to be. She brought her lips to connect to Jinsoul's lips, kissing her once, twice, three times— each one having to end due to their grins being too wide to properly kiss each other's lips.

"I-I'll never leave again," Jungeun hiccuped, her tears subduing as she rested her forehead on Jinsoul's. Her fingers intertwined with Jinsoul's, holding her hands tight, like she was never going to let them go. "I missed you so much."

Jinsoul laughed breathlessly, nodding once in agreement. If only she knew how badly Jinsoul missed her too. She was beyond glad Jungeun was here, back, alive. She pecked Jungeun's nose, smiling softly when Jungeun's eyes fluttered open at that.

"I did too," Jinsoul affirmed. "I missed you so, so much." She stood up and brought Jungeun up with her, beckoning her with a tug of their interlocked hands. "You must be starving, let's eat. And you have to tell me all about the battle! How'd you beat them? What did you see there? And we should get you a change of clothes too... let you take a shower, and—"

"Jinsoul, Jinsoul," Jungeun intervened, laughing. "I'll tell you all about it. But first. We sleep." She started walking towards her bedroom, and Jinsoul let out a noise of offense.

"What!" she exclaimed, giggling at Jungeun's antics. "You come back and you prefer taking a nap over talking to a hot princess?!" Jungeun let out a hearty laugh at that, throwing her head back and then opening her bedroom door.

"Hey, at least you know you're—" Before she could finish the sentence, Jinsoul was already playfully hitting the back of her head.

"Don't say it, you dork," she said through a smile.

"What can I say then?" Jungeun asked, going into her room and letting Jinsoul close the door behind them. Jinsoul smiled, humming in faux thought for a moment. Jungeun sat on the bed, prepared for a stupid response.

"You can say... you missed me and I'm the greatest person ever," Jinsoul suggested, wiggling her eyebrows at Jungeun. Instead of getting flustered and blushing, she sat a little straighter and stared straight into her eyes.

"Alright," she accepted. "I missed you so much, Jinsoul~ Every single day I thought of you, and you gave me strength, do you know that?" Jungeun cooed, her eyes filling with hearts when Jinsoul immediately looked down at the floor as her face reddened.

"Ah... I— You really helped me realize some things about myself, too. Things I needed to figure out for a long time." Jinsoul couldn't exactly describe it in words. Jungeun got the point, though.

"Come here," Jungeun said, laying on her bed, leaving room for Jinsoul to slip in and lay next to her. It was only a few seconds later when she felt the bed dip beside her and a pair of arms wrap around her. She smiled happily, remembering now what home felt like.

When Jinsoul woke up, she was staring at the beautiful angel laying beside her, face soft, at peace, so much more youthful than it normally seemed. Jinsoul felt her heart thud in her chest, creating a rhythm for Jungeun, since she was the one who tugged so much at her heartstrings. Jinsoul looked down to see Jungeun's neck, suddenly realizing something. Jinsoul felt at her own neck, feeling for something, smiling when she caught it. The necklace Jungeun gave her one day in this room together.

She touched Jungeun's cheek, gentle enough to not wake her, cooing silently at the woman she loved so much. She kissed Jungeun's nose, then the apples of her cheeks, and her forehead. "Love you," Jinsoul whispered. "So so so much."

She was startled when Jungeun grinned widely in reply. "I love you too."

"Y-you're awake!?" Jinsoul stammered.

"Barely," Jungeun laughed, groggy and still on the verge of sleeping again.

"Go back to sleep," Jinsoul laughed.

"No..." Jungeun whined, smiling. It was silent once their giggles calmed down, both of them still so giddy and gleeful to be back in each other's arms.

"Are we lovers?" Jungeun suddenly asked, catching Jinsoul by surprise.

...Are they?

Jinsoul thought for a second about it, but she needed no more than that. "Do you want to be?"

Jinsoul knew the answer by Jungeun's smile. Luckily, Jinsoul thought the same thing.

"I love you, really," Jinsoul sighed dreamily.

"I love you more."

"We are _not_ going to be one of those couples," Jinsoul laughed.

"What! What do you mean?" Jungeun pouted.

"Not the 'I love you more' couples."

Jungeun laughed, and Jinsoul would be fine if she had to hear Jungeun's laugh forever. She wanted to hear that sound as much as she could, to watch her smile so widely her eyes scrunch up.

"Alright," Jungeun agreed. "But I do love you more though."

"Do not."

"Do too!"

And they could only smile like two lovestruck idiots, knowing that in each other's arms was where they were meant to be. Love felt easy with each other. Like their hearts could open up and accept the other like it was second nature. Love was easy like that, in times like this, even if the reality was that love is far too complex to ever understand. They don't need to understand, though, because basking in the unexplainable feeling, they knew that it wasn't something they had to look into anyway, it was always just there.

It was always just her. Jinsoul, the princess with galaxies in her eyes, with a smile that quickened Jungeun's heartbeat and could stop the world for a second— it was always her that had Jungeun's heart. She always felt better when she was by her side, like the clouds darkening her days were being drifted away to return the sunshine. Jinsoul was perfect, so beautiful and amazing, even her flaws only made her more charming. She swooned at each of her words, her heart flying out of her chest when Jinsoul giggles, short and sweet, bubbly and cheerful and it just brightens her entire century to be next to her. It must be impossible, to be able to fall more in love each day with someone you're already so in love with, but everyday Jungeun is proven wrong again. It's impossible how soft she was for the princess, how much she would risk and give up for her. She knows that she'd do anything within a second when it came to her. Because it was always her, the princess who found her way into her heart like a flower blooming in the spring.

It was alike with Jinsoul, those feelings. Everything Jungeun did made Jinsoul want to cover her in kisses and adoration. She wanted to hold her hand forever, to listen to her melodious, soft laugh on repeat for her entire life. She wanted all Jungeun could offer, everything in her soul and heart, she wanted to know her better than anyone else. She wanted to memorize her heartbeat, the way it feels beneath her palm, wanted to let these feelings blossom in her heart forever, because by now Jinsoul knew that love had no extent; there was no great capacity to how much love could be contained in their hearts. They were only human, but Jungeun was the closest to a goddess the world has seen. She was so thankful for her. After that talk Haseul gave her, about being herself, she realized she only ever felt like herself around Jungeun. Now, she wants to be like that everywhere, not just with her. She was thankful that Jungeun helped her meet herself again. Jungeun and Haseul...

Haseul!

Jinsoul bolted up from the bed, her eyes wide after remembering she's yet to talk to Haseul after her dramatic episode. "Sorry! I'll be right back," Jinsoul shouted over her shoulder as she ran out the door, charging to the kitchen where Haseul would probably be, alongside the maids— god, Jiwoo! She had to apologize to her, too! Jinsoul picked up the cloak that she dropped earlier in the hallway as she passed it, and continued to the kitchen.

"Jiwoo!" Jinsoul called when she entered, where Jiwoo was already cleaning up the mess from last night's celebration. Jiwoo's head twisted Jinsoul's way immediately, and she was smiling just as quickly. Jiwoo was always smiling. Jinsoul liked that, it was refreshing.

"Princess, hello!" Jiwoo cheered, she stood up from where she was scrubbing a stain on the floor.

"Oh no... do you need help with that?" Jinsoul asked, frowning at seeing her work so much. The other maids must have been sleeping now, and Jiwoo was still working tirelessly. She was such a hard-worker.

Jiwoo only smiled brighter. "You always offer help, Princess Jinsoul... always so endearing." The way Jiwoo talked always made Jinsoul forget how she was older than the maid. Jiwoo just loved showering everyone with love and affection. "But I've really got it this time."

Jinsoul nodded, smiling. "Alright. I'm actually here to, uh, apologize for the way I acted the other day..." She rubbed the back of her neck but kept eye contact with Jiwoo. "Sorry for being dramatic like that. But I'm better now. A ton."

"That's great, Princess. And you don't have to apologize, I wasn't bothered at all," Jiwoo promised.

"Thank you," Jinsoul said through her smile. "And do you happen to know where Haseul is?'

"Hmm..." Jiwoo hummed, scrunching her brows in thought. "Actually, I don't. Sorry Princess."

"Don't worry about it, I'll find her then." Jinsoul waved and immediately went upstairs to her room, putting the cloak back and changing into a comfortable, modest dress.

"Hey, Jinsoul," Haseul called, causing Jinsoul to jump. She looked back and saw Haseul leaning on the door frame, smiling.

"Haseul! I-I'm so happy to see you. And I'm sorry for being... like that, a few days ago," Jinsoul apologized, frowning. "And also, thank you, for what you told me before. That I should be who I want to be. I didn't get it at first, but... but I think I know now. Thank you."

Haseul could only smile fondly at Jinsoul. She was glad to have her back.

Jinsoul looked at the note she wrote from last night, before leaving to chase after the woman with the lantern. She shuddered at the memory, thinking about the things she threatened Jinsoul with, how she hurt her so easily without being phased at all. She grabbed the note and folded it, placing it on her nightstand.

"What's the note, Princess?" Haseul asked, peering her head into the room as if it would help her see.

"It's nothing," Jinsoul dismissed. She finished tying the bow at the back of her dress and brought her attention back to Haseul. "So we won the war?"

Haseul nodded and grinned. "The Jeon family's army surrendered yesterday. And even if they didn't, we would have won yesterday anyway, since their army was getting critically low." The sentence made Jinsoul frown. She wondered how many from her soldiers were now deceased due to the battle.

As if Haseul could read her mind, she comforted, "Only twelve of our men died."

"How many of theirs?"

"Nearly forty," Haseul answered. Jinsoul frowned at this information. She wished they didn't have to fight. That would make things so much easier.

"I wonder how Jungeun's doing." Jinsoul left the room to walk alongside Haseul, going downstairs and following Haseul to wherever she was walking to. "Since they were like family to her. It must have been difficult to say goodbye to twelve of them."

Haseul hummed, "Hm. I couldn't imagine... But I'd request you not to speak of it yet with her. She's probably still sensitive about it."

"Of course," Jinsoul agreed. She followed Haseul into the room she opened the door to, one that carried medallions and plaques for their army. Jinsoul shut the door behind them, and when she looked up, she saw Haseul touching a large golden plaque, with the words "VICTORY" and two dates embedded into it, the date the war began and the date it had ended. It was bigger than any other plaque in there, and at the bottom were the names of the twelve that died in battle, gallant and never to be forgotten. She smiled at that, letting her finger trace over the embedded lines of their names.

Haseul smiled up at Jinsoul, happy that she was happier again. She could really tell that Jinsoul appreciated Jungeun a lot. It was cute.

"This is nice," Jinsoul said about the plaque. "I'm sure the soldiers will love it. Did my mom make it?" Normally, her mother made these kinds of things. She made most of the plaques in the room. She was good at creating and inventing.

"Yes, the queen did a lovely job. It must have taken her all night to carve into the gold." Haseul stepped back from it and opened the door again. "I have to return to some duties, but make sure to tell your mother she did a perfect job, okay? She'll appreciate it."

"I will," Jinsoul promised. But before that, Jinsoul left to see Jungeun again.

"Jungeun," Jinsoul called, smiling as she entered Jungeun's bedroom again. "We should do something today."

Jungeun laughed and sat up from the bed. "You're the one offering to do fun things now?"

Jinsoul nodded. "I just missed doing things with you. I kinda like the wind in my hair and the grass on my feet, you know?"

Jungeun smiled, but then ended up laughing heartily.

"What?" Jinsoul asked, a smiling creeping onto her own face as she watched the woman laugh.

"You probably should wear shoes this time. Since you hated the feeling of grass last time," Jungeun said, standing up and slipping on a pair of shoes. She placed her hand in Jinsoul's and left to walk wherever with her.

"How is that funny to you?" Jinsoul asked.

"I don't know, just is," Jungeun said through a chuckle. She laughed again when Jinsoul put on a pair of shoes.

"What!" Jinsoul laughed, but sounded offended.

"I thought you said no shoes," Jungeun said.

"Shut up." Jinsoul pushed Jungeun's shoulder, shaking her head, but even she was laughing too.

They didn't even go anywhere outside of the castle, just wandered around it, talking mindlessly, Jungeun's head on Jinsoul's shoulder. It was all Jinsoul could have ever asked for. Simple things like that always made her heart flutter the most, when they talked for hours and hours without anything extraordinary happening around them— just the two of them chatting away the daylight, hand in hand, more in love by each hour.

She forgot to tell her mother her work was well done, too caught up with Jungeun and the way she could practically hear the knight's heartbeat. Every time she looked at her she felt butterflies in her stomach, fluttering around and making her heart positively glow. Jungeun's smile was definitely the eighth wonder of the world.

Even as she laid in her bed, eyes wide and sparkling still as they stared at the ceiling, she thought about Jungeun. Everything about today was too perfect, too good to be true. Maybe this was all a dream and she'd wake up soon, but she was somehow fine with that. She closed her eyes and accepted anything that would have happened next, whether she woke up the next day and Jungeun was still gone, waking up and doing everything all over again tomorrow, or just woke up as she usually did, she was fine with anything. Today was too good. Nothing could possibly ruin it.

Jinsoul bolted up into a sitting position. Nothing could ruin today, except for maybe the mysterious note across the room. She breathed in, squinting at the envelope taped to the door. It's impossible for it to have gotten there. Her parents were too busy after the war to have put it there. There was no one else to have put that there. She was going crazy, she must have been. She blinked, every attempt to readjust her eyesight futile and drawing her to no wanted answers. No easy conclusions, nothing explainable like a hallucination.

She tore herself from her spot on the mattress and took two large steps before peeling the envelope from the door in a haste, tearing it open and unfolding the letter inside.

_You haven't won yet_.

The four words were sinister yet mysterious, leaving room for interpretation. The room felt colder, quieter than it ever has before; the goosebumps on Jinsoul's skin rising the longer she stared blankly at the message. Her heart began beating quicker, but all she could feel was the chill crawling up her spine, whispering each scenario she didn't want to imagine in her ear. This wasn't supposed to happen. This isn't happening. It can't be.

Her head shot to the window as the glass shattered, not getting the chance to look at the culprit before getting knocked to the ground beneath their weight. Jinsoul yelled for a second before shutting her mouth, closing her eyes tight as the person above her unsheathed a dagger from her side, bringing the weapon toward the princess's throat threateningly.

Jinsoul gulped, throat bobbing and each shaky breath bringing her body unwittingly closer to the dagger. Her heart felt ready to leap out from her chest and surrender itself into this maniac's arms. She tilted her head to look up at the person pinning Jinsoul down, one of their hands on her shoulder with a bruising grip and the other clenching tight around the weapon.

"Don't say a fucking word," the woman straddling Jinsoul warned. "Don't open your mouth, Princess." She was breathing heavily above Jinsoul, looking almost as shaky as her. Her mouth was shaped into a scowl, eyes dark and filled with emotions Jinsoul could barely decipher. Jinsoul's jaw was shaking, knowing that the wrong move could very well get herself killed right now. She didn't dare nod to show acceptance, too fearful of accidentally scraping her throat against the dagger.

The woman's hair was dark, a deep brunette that captured light and made her hair shine. Unlike her eyes, which seemed unable to gleam and glow, painted with a lazy, heavy gaze instead. Her lips were parted, she was breathing heavily— panting— like she'd ran for miles before being here. She was young, sickeningly beautiful; she couldn't have been more than a year older than the princess herself. Her skin looked soft and pampered, despite the numerous burgundy scratches decorating her body.

Her face was getting scarily close to Jinsoul's, her eyes boring into the princess's as her little smirk grew bit by bit. Their noses were centimeters apart, the woman's teeth showing as she wore a sly grin. Her eyes traveled down Jinsoul's face, watching her heat up, before licking her lips and speaking again.

"You really thought you were gonna win, huh?" She laughed once lowly, letting her dagger trace light patterns on Jinsoul's shoulders, not hard enough to puncture skin, but enough for Jinsoul to just faintly feel the metal circling about against her. The woman's eyes met Jinsoul's again, and a corner of her lip tilted upward. "Not everything works to your favor, though... You'd ought to learn someday." She let the dagger glide up to Jinsoul's neck, dancing along her skin, listening to the way Jinsoul's breath caught in her throat.

"Don't," Jinsoul pleaded, barely above her breath, careful not to let her throat bob too much. "Please don't."

The woman hummed, nosing at Jinsoul's jaw. "Why shouldn't I?"

Jinsoul couldn't think of a good answer. She couldn't think of any response the woman would like to hear. "What are you gonna do?"

The woman returned her face back to its spot from earlier, hovering closely over Jinsoul's face so she could make eye contact. "I'm not going to do anything. This has nothing to do with me. But you..."

Jinsoul waited for her to finish, but was left with nothing, other than a short, low giggle. "What? I'll what?"

"Then tomorrow... if you want to live to see another day, then you'll bring Jungeun past the training grounds and into the woods. You both must be there by noon. Got that?" she asked.

"Yes," Jinsoul obliged. "Yes, yes, now please, let me be," she begged. She closed her eyes until they were shut so tight her nose scrunched. "I'll bring her, I swear. Get off of me!" Jinsoul's voice began to rise from a whisper to a regular speaking voice. The woman pulled herself up and off of the princess, who positioned herself up on her elbows now to stare at the woman as she stood up tall before her.

"I expect nothing less of you, Princess." She turned, facing the broken window, where glass laid splattered all over the floor. She stared at the broken pieces for a moment before kicking one towards Jinsoul. "You might want to pick those up. Don't wanna hurt your precious feet now, do we?"

Before Jinsoul could retort, the woman was gone, leaping out the window and out of sight for the night. Jinsoul heaved a large sigh, sitting straight and covering her eyes. She groaned as her fingers intertwined in the hair at her scalp, staring down at the broken glass by her feet that caught the moonlight wonderfully. The chilly breezes ran freely into Jinsoul's room.

How was she going to explain this to her parents?

Even at eleven in the morning the next day, an hour before Jinsoul was supposed to take Jungeun into the woods, she was still huddled up in her bed, wrapped in her blanket, her door shut so no one could come in without knocking. It was probably best to pretend she was asleep the entire day, and disregard the woman who threatened her yesterday. It reminded her of the other woman, Miss Kim, how she was so similar in hurting Jinsoul.

Jinsoul held her breath the entire day. She didn't know what was going to happen or when. Maybe nothing would happen at all, and she's hiding for the better. She doesn't know what time it is, but by now it had to have been past noon. She was too scared to look up from where she bundled and covered herself in her blanket to look at the clock. She didn't even get up when Jungeun's voice sounded at the door. She wondered if this was urgent, wondered if maybe the woman found Jungeun, too. The thought terrified Jinsoul. It really did.

"Jinsoul?" Jungeun's voice was so worried. She knocked urgently on the door. Her frown grew when there was no response. She knew Jinsoul was in there. Why else would the door be closed? Where else would she be? But mostly, why was she hiding from her? Did Jungeun do something yesterday? She sighed, figuring that maybe Jinsoul just needed time to herself. Like that, she left, going back to her room with a heavy heart.

"You're just not gonna answer her?" a voice in the room asked teasingly, causing Jinsoul to flinch, throwing the blanket off her body and staring wide-eyed at the woman sitting on her desk across from her. Jinsoul's jaw dropped, but no noise came out. She hated how fast she recognized her perfect face, adorned with a shit-eating grin and mocking glint in her eyes. How long was she here for?! Was she just watching her?!

"You— You—" Jinsoul stammered, trying to collect her thoughts. Her fists tightened in the bedsheets, needing something to grasp onto.

The woman laughed, her eyes still dark even when there was light in the room to brighten it. "I'm what, Princess? Cat got your tongue?"

Jinsoul couldn't even comment on the stupid phrase she used. She looked towards the window, staring at the still-broken glass, then back at the woman.

"You had one job, Jinsoul. All you had to do was bring me the knight. And yet... you didn't," she said, pouting childishly. "Why not, Princess? Couldn't get up?"

"I..." Jinsoul began, but the sentence had nowhere to go. There was no excuse that Jinsoul could say to get past her, considering the fact she's possibly been there for hours. They stared at each other in the thickest silence Jinsoul's ever felt surround her, a tension so unbearable she had the urge to start screaming just to cut through it, but she didn't. She just sat there and stared into the woman's dark, mischievous eyes.

In a second, Jinsoul's back crashed back onto the bed, the woman grabbing her by the throat and pinning her down like that. "Jinsoul... You're really unbelievable, you know that?" she chuckled, her face threateningly close to Jinsoul's. Jinsoul wasn't sure what had gotten into her, but something made her swing her arm to punch the woman across the face. She held the side of her face, but didn't seem hurt. No, the woman seemed amused, turning back to face Jinsoul with a large grin and a short laugh.

"Wow, and to think we were on first-name basis?" She lunged back at Jinsoul, nails digging into her shoulders as she pulled her up from the bed to stand up in front of her, the both of them standing dangerously close to the broken glass on the floor. She patted Jinsoul's shoulder once before retreating her hands. "I'm Sooyoung, by the way," she said too calmly before kicking Jinsoul in the stomach, sending her flying back a good distance from Sooyoung. She fell to the ground, sitting on her knees as she clutched her stomach in pain. Sooyoung lifted Jinsoul's head up with her fingers around her chin, lifting her head until their gazes met. She threw the princess a sickeningly beautiful smile.

"How rude of me for not asking for your name earlier, when you were, y'know, choking me," Jinsoul pointed out, one of her hands tugging Sooyoung's off of her chin. She stood up again, dusting off her dress. "But thanks, I suppose, Sooyoung." She punched Sooyoung again, this time harder than the last, and watched blood trickle from her nose. She pushed Sooyoung's chest until she was pressed against the wall, then held her throat tightly. Sooyoung was still smiling, against the situation, blood staining her face.

"What are you gonna do, princess?" Sooyoung mumbled, her voice strained. "Gonna kill me?"

Jinsoul's face faltered, her fist uncurling. She stared wide-eyed at Sooyoung. What the hell was she doing?! She never hit someone before, she shouldn't, that was way beyond against her morals! Before she could think twice, her hand around Sooyoung's neck loosened, giving Sooyoung the chance to deliver a harsh hit straight to the side of Jinsoul's head, and everything went dark.

\---

Jungeun knows something had to be wrong with the princess, otherwise she wouldn't have locked herself up like that. Jungeun sat on her bed the entire day, eyes emotionlessly watching the wall in front of her, only her brain functioning. She couldn't understand. She had to see what the princess was doing, her heart too fragile now, threatening to ache at her thoughts. Unable to sit around anymore, Jungeun shot up from the bed, marching back up to Jinsoul's bedroom. She felt bossy and rude, continuing to budge Jinsoul throughout the day, but she really couldn't help it. She was just worried.

Her fist crashed against the door, knocking urgently. "Jinsoul." She bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from shouting. Why wouldn't she just answer?! She didn't even have the decency to tell Jungeun to fuck off and leave her alone! Jungeun sighed through her nose, bringing her fist back to her side, recollecting herself. She didn't know if she was upset or mad, or maybe both. She closed her eyes, opening them again when she was calmer. "Jinsoul, please, just open the door, okay?"

No response. Jungeun sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Princess." She couldn't stop herself from frowning when even that wouldn't work.

"Your highness, please," she was begging now, she knew it, but she just had to know what was going on behind that door. It wasn't even curiosity, it was just worry. She was so worried. "If you don't tell me to leave then I'm opening this door myself."

Jungeun waited for what felt like forever for an answer. She held back any noises of frustration before opening the door herself, mouth open to scold Jinsoul, but her throat couldn't produce any sound when she saw the reality of what lied behind the door.

Nothing but broken glass on the floor and splatters of blood.

She didn't even think she was capable of breathing in that moment. She stood there, eyes scanning the room, and she couldn't do anything. She couldn't scream, couldn't cry, couldn't walk away or wake up from whatever kind of nightmare this was. Her eyes landed on the note on Jinsoul's nightstand, and immediately, her brain jumped to conclusions. The worst possible one she could fathom. Her mouth opened and closed, searching for her voice or at least some air, but she couldn't find anything. She coughed, clearing her throat. She was past following the set rules for the castle when she opened Jinsoul's door without permission, and now she set foot into Jinsoul's room, walking to the letter that sat on the nightstand.

Her hands shook as they held the paper, scared to read what was inside it. What if her suspicions were true? If the broken glass and blood told her anything, then... then someone must have already taken care of her body. She bit her lip, unfolding the letter.

_Jungeun. I think you might be the best person I've ever met in my life. I'm not sure how to describe what I feel like when I'm with you, but it's always... it's always unforgettable. Like that time we sneaked out at midnight, and I really got to see who you are. I feel like that night I didn't only know you as Kim Jungeun, but as the girl who knew the world just as well as I, knew pain and sorrow and wasn't always happy. I recognized and admired that you could open up to me so easily like that. But, again, though we both know the world— we know it so differently. That's why leaving hurt us both, but for different reasons. Everything we know is different._

_Maybe that's what makes us love._

_From two separate worlds, with two different interpretations of life and love, because everyone's perspective is different. Even if similar in most senses, being different was what made us love. Really; you, the knight in shining armor that I once had to constantly rely on because that's what I thought I needed: protection, security, someone to watch over me. And through all that, I had yet to realize that all this time, the only person I've ever needed to trust in me was myself. Somehow, you helped me realize this again, that these past years of my life, though carefree and great, I was missing something. I was missing myself. And I've only ever felt myself, truly, when I am around you. And though the past weeks I have spent mourning our separation, I've only now noticed that this time away helped me see that I'm stronger than I thought, I don't rely on everyone else like I'd always thought I had. That's what makes me love you the most, that you made me find myself again._

_So maybe that really is what makes us love, being two different people that can still feel the same things, despite having different perspectives and understandings of them. I've always considered myself as the sun when drawing that sun and moon comparison between us, but now... now, I think, maybe I was the moon. Made to bring light to the dark world. I do live to see that I've made people happy. But that's just one side, and I was thinking— you know that phrase, that saying, "The dark side of the moon"? Perhaps that's what I've been searching for this whole time, the half of me that I've dimmed and blackened to please everyone else. The half of me that only lights up in your presence. Haseul talked to me about it the other day. I wish I hadn't shut her out for it now. She told me that I had to live my life as I would like to see it, not just through the body of an all-loved princess. Like my head and my body are two different forces, and I shouldn't let them fight each other anymore. I am adventurous, and I am brave and strong— something I don't think I've seen in myself before— but after these weeks without you, I know that I am stronger than I could have ever imagined. That's why you're my sun._

_You're my sun because you were able to bring brightness back into my world, to make me understand that life isn't just about giving light to others, but receiving the light that others gave you. And you've made me shine brighter than anything else has. You are my sun, my shining, beautiful star. I think falling in love with you taught me more than just what it meant to love. It's taught me how to love myself, how to acknowledge that maybe I am doing something good with my life. Because finding you and loving you is the greatest good I think I've ever felt. Perhaps you feel this way too._

Jungeun only grew more confused. This wasn't a note she wrote for a self-inflicted death..? Her heart would have felt warm if she knew that Jinsoul was safe. But she didn't. She didn't know if the princess was safe. Immediately, she tucked the note into her pocket and ran down the stairs to alert Jinsoul's parents.

"Your highness! Your highness!" Jungeun called when she saw the queen across the hall. "Please, I'm sorry to interrupt you—" she looked between the queen and the person the queen was talking with— "but this is _extremely_ urgent."

The queen's mouth dropped into an o at Jungeun's persistence, and she turned to the woman across from her. "Please excuse us for a moment." The woman nodded and left, and the queen turned back to Jungeun. "Yes, Jungeun?"

"Jins— the— the princess, she isn't here," Jungeun heaved.

"Oh, no, she's just in her room, my dear," the queen comforted with a soft smile.

"No!" Jungeun exclaimed, clearing her throat when the queen's eyes widened at her tone. "Um, n-no, she isn't. She's not there— her window is broken. There is glass and blood on the carpet, your majesty."

The queen held her breath as she stared at Jungeun for a moment. She nodded once and made her way to Jinsoul's room wordlessly, Jungeun trailing behind. The queen didn't even step foot into the room, only let her eyes scan across it for minutes upon endless minutes. At one point, she turned around, facing Jungeun with a face that was both filled with and void of emotion.

"Go outside and grab your sword and horse. I will alert the people of the castle," Jinsoul's mom instructed, to which Jungeun easily obliged. She ran outside, grabbing her sword and sheath and attaching it to her belt, tying her hair up and moving toward the horse barn.

"Hi, angel," she cooed at one of the horses, voice still out of breath as she moved with urgency. She pet the horse's face once before unlocking the gate and letting it trot over to her. "We got some more wars to win today, okay?" Her voice was gentle as she comforted the horse while preparing it to be ridden. Once she attached its reins, she held onto them while still walking on the ground, walking it out towards where she'd be able to see everyone as they came outside. Slowly, everyone in the castle— not just the knights— began making their way outside of the castle, all eyes on Jungeun. Something in her chest faltered at the idea of being the one that everyone paid attention to, of being the leader. It was a scary idea, but it intrigued her more than anything. She's always wanted to be the commander.

"I assume we've all been informed of the situation at hand?" Jungeun raised her voice so the entire crowd could hear her. People who didn't verbally respond with a yes were nodding their heads, so Jungeun continued. "The war isn't over. It can't be. This was a deliberate action... it had to have been. So soldiers, though we've shown mercy before, there is no backing down now. We give our all— soldiers, knights, anyone helping— and we never back down.

"Prepare yourself like we have for the last battle!" Jungeun yelled loudly to the crowd of men and women alike. "Grab weapons and horses, and keep the same mindset we had going into the first battle!" She looked around, seeing the passion burning bright in the knights' eyes, the same kind of determination they carried with them throughout the previous battle. As the knights began preparing themselves, Jungeun noticed the maids standing by the walls of the castle, watching the crowd just as cautiously as Jungeun was. She saw the king and queen on horses that cantered up to her, pulling their reins, causing dust to rise up from the ground. She looked around, and a sense of accomplishment filled her. She knew there was no backing down, that they would win this no matter what and find the princess.

"We must fight harder than ever before," Jungeun began strongly, "work faster, be smarter, and show no mercy to the enemy." Jungeun nodded to herself, looking around at all the knights armed with daggers, sitting atop horses. Jungeun hopped onto the horse that stood by her, straddling its body and holding tightly onto the reins. "For the princess." Jungeun looked to her sides, smiling at the king and queen.

The queen smiled back. "For our daughter," she added.

"For a friend," Haseul said, grinning as she directed her horse carefully through the crowd of knights. Jungeun's mouth parted in awe for a moment, seeing how much everyone cares for Jinsoul. People who can't fight were helping, people who didn't know war dynamics offered a hand, and Jungeun could truly see that this was a community, where everyone stood together, rather than apart.

"For Jinsoul." Jungeun smiled. The friend, the daughter, the princess. The love of her life.

"Soldiers," the king paused, letting his voice echo through the wind. "Claim our victory!"

At that, Jungeun kicked the side of her horse, a sign to start going, and held on tightly to the reins as the horse began through the woods. She almost smiled knowing she was leading everyone. She went from a knight participating in battle to a soldier conducting it. She felt like this was what she was meant to do, feel the wind crash against her face and swirl through her hair, hang onto the horse she rode and listen to the leaves crunching beneath its hooves. She was a born leader. She furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, legs straddling the horse tighter as she directed it to pick up speed. She squinted to keep the wind from making her tear up.

Jungeun felt cities burning inside her chest, an urgency she couldn't decipher revving her up. She looked left and right, always keeping an eye out for anything. There was no way they weren't catching onto the enemy, knowing that the only path they could have taken would be through the woods. If they went through the streets anyone would have caught them.

By now, Jungeun's lost the entire crowd. They've all gone different ways. She hoped that everyone would remember the way back. She would look for days if she had to, weeks, months. But for now, she knew it couldn't have been more than a few hours that she'd been searching. Her hands were so tired from clutching onto the reins for so long, so tight. She pulled on them to notify the horse that they would be stopping for now. She hopped off the horse and sat in the pile of leaves that blanket all the ground in the woods. It even felt hard to breathe, leaning her head back and closing her eyes in exhaustion. She couldn't let the break be too long. She didn't even want to take a break, but she knew her body was too tired.

She reached for the letter in her pocket, opening it to read it again, this time smiling. Jinsoul really did love her, huh? Jungeun was positive she was the luckiest girl in the world. Her thumb caressed the words written in black ink, in Jinsoul's pretty handwriting. She tucked the letter back into her pocket and felt the energy creep back into her system, a newfound motivation to find her lover blooming in her veins. She knew she was going to find her, even if it was going to be the last thing she did.

She straddled the horse again and began traveling the woods, looking all around for any signs of anyone. Suddenly, a dagger flew by her head, just barely missing her and her horse. Shrieking, Jungeun tugged tightly onto the reins and forced the horse to a halt. She jumped off of it and looked around, especially in the direction the dagger was thrown. Perhaps it was one of the soldiers mistaking her for the enemy. Her heart began pounding quick in her chest, thudding against her ribcage as if it would jump out any second.

Something moved in the leaves, and another dagger came flying in Jungeun's direction. She moved quickly and tugged her horse to the side with her. It had to be the enemy. She was onto them. She jumped onto the horse and began faster than ever in the direction daggers were being thrown. She directed the horse well, dodging threatening daggers that flew their way, until suddenly one was aimed low to the ground so Jungeun couldn't see it, searing the horse's leg, causing it to whinny in pain and collapse, causing Jungeun to fall along with it. While Jungeun wasn't hurt by the fall, after quick inspection, she could see the horse was wounded severely, the dagger still deep in its leg.

"Oh, no," Jungeun whined, petting the horse's stomach sympathetically. She looked up, and though she wished she could comfort the horse as it inevitably died, she had to leave before she was the next victim of the dagger. She got up to her feet quickly, eyes zeroing in on the girl in the distance. She charged towards her, hand on her sword, ready to unsheathe it and kill her.

The girl's eyes widened, and before she could run away, she was tackled to the ground by Jungeun, unsheathing her sword and holding it to the girl's throat. "You bitch," Jungeun muttered, voice laced with venom. "What did you do to Jinsoul." The sentence came out as a demand for an answer rather than a question.

The girl swallowed thickly, scared. Her charcoal black hair was splayed all around her, and Jungeun noticed a deep scar on her cheek. She was breathing heavily beneath Jungeun, and Jungeun took note of how young she looked. She must have been a new knight.

"Answer me!" Jungeun demanded, pressing the sword harder against the girl's throat.

"Get the sword off of me," the girl whispered, too scared her throat would bob too much if she spoke louder. Jungeun held the sword there for a few more seconds before carefully sheathing it again at her side, choosing to pin the girl down instead with her hands against her shoulders.

"Continue," Jungeun urged.

"I-I'm Hyunjin..." she introduced, and suddenly a light bulb flashed in Jungeun's head. Before she could continue, Jungeun got off of her.

"Hyunjin, oh my god, I'm sorry!" Jungeun apologized. Hyunjin was one of the knights-in-training. She must have not known that Jungeun was on her side and accidentally began trying to hurt her.

"No..." Hyunjin began, shaking her head and looking down at the ground. "You were right. I'm not on your side." Reluctantly, Hyunjin pushed Jungeun down when she was too shocked and confused to say or do anything. "I'm sorry." A sharp, searing pain ran through Jungeun's body as Hyunjin dug a dagger into her shoulder.

\---

"Why'd you want to take me?" Jinsoul asked, trying to get Sooyoung or Miss Kim to say anything. For the past however many hours, she'd been sitting on a bench in a cottage Sooyoung brought her to— a cottage in the middle of the woods that Jinsoul didn't even know existed. Probably because the walk here was really long, but it was still bewildering. Sooyoung shrugged to Jinsoul's question, cleaning a few dishes in the sink. "And what the fuck is up with this wholesome house? I'd imagine if you were a villain of sorts you'd want something a little less welcoming."

"Can you stop talking?" Sooyoung groaned, turning to face Jinsoul. "For the past five hours you have not shut those blabbing lips of yours once!" Jinsoul frowned and looked down at her legs. She already tried escaping— twice— and both times she was caught and returned back to this cottage that smelled too much like a warm and welcoming home than it should have.

"It's not like I had the choice of kidnapping you or not," Sooyoung added, finally— although broad and stupid— answering one of Jinsoul's questions. "I could have killed you right then instead."

"Uhh... what," Jinsoul deadpanned. "You definitely did have a choice? You're not, you know... _obligated_ to kidnap someone."

"And I could still kill you right now," Sooyoung finished, sending Jinsoul a glare. "I had to do what I did to you. Otherwise, I would be the one getting killed. Miss Kim is more powerful than you think." Jinsoul sighed. Fear had evaporated from her chest by now, knowing that she wasn't going to get killed— these guys had empty promises— but she was still uncomfortable in knowing that they must have had some sort of goal going into this. No one would just kidnap a princess for fun and games, so there had to be a reason.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Jinsoul's head shot in the direction. First, she saw the familiar knight-in-training from so may days ago, a scar still decorating her cheek. Then, she saw the limp girl she held in her hands, dark red blood staining her white shirt. Jinsoul's jaw dropped, all her breath gone. She stood up immediately, unable to say anything. She blinked, trying to see if this was some hallucination, but it couldn't have been. There stood the young knight with a tear-stained face, holding Jinsoul's lover limp in her arms. The knight— Hyunjin— looked up to make eye contact with Jinsoul, then at the elderly woman standing close to Jinsoul.

"I killed her," Hyunjin said, voice croaky and sad. Immediately, she placed Jungeun's body with care to the floor, and walked up to Miss Kim, holding a bloody dagger. "I... I—" the words were stuck in her throat. Jinsoul looked at Miss Kim, who too seemed phased by the body. She learned that maybe this was their goal. Not to kill Jinsoul, but to... Jinsoul couldn't finish the thought.

She ran up to Jungeun's body, and the entire room was dead silent. Jinsoul stroked her index finger across Jungeun's cheek, tears filling her eyes as she watched her still form. She'll come back. Hope brought Jungeun back before, Jinsoul reminded herself, remembering the night she restored her hope. Maybe today hope will save her again. Jinsoul couldn't look away from Jungeun, not even when she felt everyone's sad eyes fix on her. She wondered why those three were upset. They didn't deserve to be upset. They did this.

"Jungeun please," Jinsoul begged. "Jungeun PLEASE." Tears soaked her face, her chest was vibrating with her uncontrolled breaths. She was so scared. She held Jungeun's face so tight as if it would help her. "Just wake up! Oh, please, please— You can't, you can't die, don't leave me—"

She couldn't speak through her tears anymore, she was choking on her words and she didn't think she'd be able to continue breathing. She lifted Jungeun by the grip she had on her jaw and positioned her to sit where Jinsoul made room with her separated knees, wrapping her arms tight around her. She squeezed her body hopelessly, sobbing unstoppable tears into the thick cloth on Jungeun's shoulder, still red as it was before except now a little more worn. She clutched hard on Jungeun's waist, shaking her body in hard jolts. She watched the way Jungeun's lips parted, a shallow breath escaping like it was her last response she'd supply for the girl who loved her.

"You— Jungeun, Jungeun, listen to me— you have to listen to me. Don't you dare die!! You can't! Not now, not now, god! No, no.." Jinsoul's voice broke off as she burst into a new wave of tears, harsher and less forgiving than before. Her entire body was shaking, but the only thing she could focus on was her knight before her. The knight who had always put Jinsoul before even herself. The knight that protected Jinsoul and fought for her. And Jinsoul could never protect her back. She would never be able to offer that kind of help. Stupid, it's so stupid— why can't Jinsoul just have this one thing?! It's all she asks, it's all she's ever begged for and any deity above denies her and takes her life and joy from her arms.

She brushed an unsteady hand through Jungeun's dark hair, longer than it was before the first battle. She wonders if Jungeun could still feel it, feel her fingers on her scalp even if she might be dying as they know it. Dying against all and every single one of Jinsoul's wishes. Jinsoul hiccups through her cries, gripping hard at Jungeun's hair, too weak to tell her how much she's going to miss her. She hopes so much that heaven is great. That Jungeun will live the life she's never had, because she spent it all shielding Jinsoul from harm's view.

She looked down at Jungeun's neck, scarred and bruised, dried blood that she hasn't been able to wash off staining her skin crimson near scrapes. Jinsoul ran a finger down Jungeun's arm, ending at her limp hand, holding it in her own with ease. She brought the hand up to her lips and kissed her fingertips, each knuckle, the back of her hand, the inside of her wrist. Jungeun's palms were still calloused and rough in Jinsoul's, but Jinsoul couldn't find herself to care. She looked at Jungeun again, even if it hurt to see her eyes that would never open again and emotionless expression. She let her free hand go up to her own neck, sliding the necklace she stole from out of her shirt, quickly making work of her fingers to snap off her jewelry. She held the thin golden chain tight in her palm. She was fond of it. She loved wearing it. With a sad smile, she fit the necklace onto Jungeun's neck, back where it belonged. She looked like an angel.

"You'll wake up, won't you?" Jinsoul smiled, all too hopeful.

Jinsoul turned when Miss Kim cleared her throat. Somehow, Miss Kim looked... human. Like she knew what Jinsoul was going through.

"Jinsoul. Jungeun... she is my daughter," Miss Kim began with a sigh, sitting down. "She was taken by your parents, who denied me to keep her because of royal tradition. Our bloodline was made to serve yours."

Jinsoul's jaw dropped. "But... but—"

"So eventually I had to leave the town. I only ever wanted my daughter back, don't you understand? Do you know now why I had to start this war?"

Jinsoul shook her head in denial, wiping her eyes with her sleeves. "No! I don't! She's your daughter... you're not supposed to k-kill her!"

Miss Kim smiled. She fucking _smiled_. "She isn't dead."

"What do you mean?!" Jinsoul shouted, more aggravated now.

Instead of responding, Miss Kim walked over to Jungeun's— _her daughter's_ — body, unwrapping the cloth from her shoulder and placing her palm on Jungeun's wound. Jinsoul's jaw dropped, ready to push Miss Kim off of Jungeun until a bright, yellow glow began shining around Miss Kim's hand. She could heal Jungeun. Now, Jinsoul's jaw was dropped for another reason. This was what Sooyoung and Jinsoul's mother must have been talking about, saying that Miss Kim was much more powerful than them... She _was_ different. She was magic.

The light swirled around until it stopped, and when Miss Kim moved her hand, Jungeun's skin was repaired and new. Jinsoul wasn't sure if she was hallucinating or not, but she must have been. These kinds of things don't happen in real life. But she could have started crying again when Jungeun's eyes opened.

First, the knight's eyes were on her mother, but then, they landed on Jinsoul. She smiled, sitting up. "Jinsoul..." she called.

Before Jinsoul could respond, her mother started, "Jungeun, oh, my baby." Now Miss Kim was crying, hugging her daughter tightly. Jinsoul was still way beyond confused. "Never ever leave me again... I will never let them take you again. I will get us away from here."

"Who are you?" Jungeun asked, pushing her mother off of her.

Miss Kim paused for a moment. "I'm your mother, Jungeun."

Jungeun could have laughed. This was some kind of sick joke, huh? "My mother's been dead for nearly my entire life."

"No... Jungeun..." Miss Kim began, "I really am your mother. Your father must have told you I died when I left. All I tried to do was give you the life you deserved, instead of having to be a knight your entire life... So I wanted you to not serve for the royal family. You're so much more than that. And the royal family... they lied. They told me I'd get you back, but they only banned me from ever seeing you. And now, we're together again." Miss Kim smiled brighter than Jinsoul's ever seen her smile.

Jungeun's jaw was dropped, eyebrows furrowed. "R-really?"

Miss Kim nodded. But before she could say anything, the door was swung open, and when Miss Kim's head shot up, she met the face of the king, behind him, many men and women. She held onto Jungeun's hand and pulled her towards the back door, opening it and running away. Jungeun looked over her shoulder at Jinsoul, who's jaw was dropped so wide Jungeun wasn't sure if she was faking it or not.

"Jinsoul!" Jungeun called for her, but Miss Kim dragged her out of the house already.

"Don't talk to her," her mother ordered. Jungeun tried to pull out of her mom's grip, but to no avail. She looked at the large crowd suddenly charging towards the two of them, and then at Jinsoul running out of the cottage, along with Sooyoung and Hyunjin.

Jungeun planted her feet in the ground to stop her mother from running. "Stop!" Jungeun shouted at her.

"Why aren't you running? They're going to kill us!" Her mother shouted.

" _Us?_ " Jungeun asked.

"If I'm dying, I want my daughter to be with me in heaven." Her mother's smile wasn't heartwarming at all, no, it was terrifying, it made Jungeun's heart beat a million times faster in fear, watching the knights behind them get closer. She saw Haseul on her horse, leading the group until she stopped, at a good enough distance away from Jungeun and her mom.

As the queen's horse stopped and she could see a better view of the two enemies, her eyes widened. "The Kims..." she whispered. All Jungeun could hear were the knights jumping off their horses and unsheathing their weapons. She held her breath.

"Good evening, your highness," Miss Kim greeted politely, but Jungeun could hear the tenseness in her tone.

The queen jumped off her horse, walking until she was standing only a few feet away from Jungeun and her mother. "How did you find her?"

Miss Kim laughed. "Why did you try to steal her?"

"I didn't," the queen denied.

Miss Kim only laughed again, looking around before her eyes landed back on the queen. "You know how hard it is to live without your daughter for her entire life?" The queen stayed silent. "You know how hard it is to not know what your daughter looks like? If she enjoys life? If she's still alive?"

The queen's silence was enough of an answer. Jungeun bit her lip, feeling her mother hold on tighter to her hand.

"Well," Jungeun's mom laughed, "I suppose I'll help you find out, then." Before anyone could interpret anything, Jungeun's mother turned towards Sooyoung and Hyunjin, where they held Jinsoul. "Bring her to me! If anyone dares to step closer to me, I will kill you with my bare hands!" Miss Kim shouted in warning. The queen's eyes widened, ready to shout back at her, but her voice failed her.

Sooyoung kicked Jinsoul's back so that she was kneeling on the ground. Jungeun watched the way tears flowed down Jinsoul's face silently, slowly, and felt her hands itch to do something. Her mother finally let go of her hand, holding one of the daggers Hyunjin threw at Jungeun earlier. Jinsoul's eyes were screwed shut, face down. She was scared, Jungeun noticed. Jungeun's body began trembling.

It was silly how scared Miss Kim made everyone. Despite her threat being so shallow, no one dared to even speak over her, let alone hurt her. Jungeun looked around, astounded that no one was going to do anything. Even Jinsoul's parents watched, tears in their eyes, but did nothing to intervene. Why? Why did people fear her mother? Jungeun's heart was pounding so loud she could hear it in her ears.

As her mother's hand tightened around the dagger, ready to put it to use, Jungeun pulled her to the ground, sobbing as she hit her mother with all the force she had. Her fists crashed onto her face, her chest, her stomach, anywhere, her vision blurred with tears.

"D-don't ever touch her!" Jungeun shouted, fists weak now, useless as they punched at her mother's body. She was doing nothing. She only felt weaker when her mother laughed at her. "I... I love her!"

Jungeun knew she shouldn't have said that. Now, the entire kingdom knew of the forbidden love Jungeun had for Jinsoul. But she didn't care. God, she really didn't care, because it felt so good to proclaim it aloud, not just to herself or Jinsoul. "I love her," Jungeun repeated.

"My baby... we'll be okay," she comforted, hand going up to brush through Jungeun's hair.

"Don't touch me!" Jungeun cried. She couldn't even bring her fists down anymore. With little effort, her mother pushed her off of her, brushing off her clothes. Jungeun cried even harder. She was too weak to stop her.

As her mother threw the dagger, spiraling in the air as it came quickly in Jinsoul's direction, Jungeun's brain no longer could think rationally. Bringing herself to her feet, she ran faster than ever before, throwing her body in front of Jinsoul's before the dagger could hit the princess. Everyone gasped as the weapon struck through Jungeun's stomach, but no one was more shocked than Jinsoul. She moved to go to Jungeun's body, having had enough of everything that's happened today, tired and sad and just— god fucking damnit! Why her?! But maybe it was okay, maybe Jungeun's mother would heal her again...

The world stopped for a moment. Jungeun laid there, breathing heavily. Slowly, she took the dagger out of herself, feeling the way she was bleeding out, and looked to her side, where her mother was kneeling to comfort her. Before her mother could coo and place a hand on the wound, Jungeun stuck the dagger into her mother's chest. She didn't watch the way her body collapsed, choosing instead to focus on staying alive. For Jinsoul.

She knew she was strong. She fought off an army as well as her own mother. And now, all the fighting would be over. She could smile, knowing she resolved the conflict... Even as her vision dimmed, she felt happy. She knew she was capable. She hoped that whatever came next for her wouldn't hurt Jinsoul too much.

It was quieter than anything has ever been before. Suddenly, everyone was shouting, and chaos struck again. Jungeun felt someone lift her body up, but she couldn't open her eyes to tell who, she only knew that it wasn't Jinsoul's arms that were around her. She knew how Jinsoul's arms felt by now.

When she woke up, she was in Jinsoul's bed, and she smiled when the first thing she saw was the beautiful princess standing by her. She doesn't know how long it's been since she was stabbed, but it couldn't have been too long. Jinsoul was still wearing the same dress.

"Good morning darling," Jinsoul said softly, smiling. She was so thankful for Jungeun. Endlessly grateful. She would never be ready to let her go. Her heart was so full every time she was around her. Jungeun smiled back at her, too scared to talk yet. She didn't know if she'd still sound the same, or if she'd sound ill and pitiful. She didn't want to test it.

"Are you okay?" Jinsoul asked, still in that same soft, loving voice. It made Jungeun's heart beat faster. She loved her so much. She closed her eyes, basking in Jinsoul's touch when she ran a hand through Jungeun's hair. "I'm really happy you came into my life..."

Jungeun felt like crying, but she knows she should be smiling. Smiling because Jinsoul was right here beside her, and no matter how bad Jungeun felt, it really would be okay. everything would be okay.

She swallowed the thickness in her throat that asked her what would happen next. She knew just as well as Jinsoul that maybe this was it. She didn't want to think about it, but she couldn't stop herself. She wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. But she had to. It hurt so bad.

"It's okay." Jinsoul nodded. "You've been fighting so hard. But it's okay to let go now." She smiled so softly to her lover, staring back at her with stars in her eyes.

Jungeun's tears burned against her cheeks, like acid dropping down her skin. She smiled back at Jinsoul, hoping it conveyed the thank you she couldn't verbalize through her weakness. Jinsoul felt her stomach clench up, like she might be sick, but she wanted Jungeun to be happy. There was no way for her to live that way, happily, like this... Jinsoul had to learn to let go, no matter how bad it hurt. She pictured Jungeun kissing her goodnight every day when twilight falls, wishing her a peaceful sleep through the twinkling of the stars. She remembered Jungeun saying something about that, to look up at the stars whenever she misses her. The same stars she'll be looking at each lonely night. Jinsoul hopes the stars welcome her into the great big sky warmly.

Even though Jinsoul told her not to, Jungeun fights the darkness that tried to pull her in for a little longer. Fights it to get one more glimpse of Jinsoul's sweet smile before she accepts the inevitable shadowing upon her. She just wanted to see that one last time, to feel her heart flutter like it does when she first fell in love with the princess that's gained her trust, friendship, and love. Her eyes blackened, trying to fade out her view and get her to lose quicker, but she battles even harder than she has before— harder than she has when she won the war, harder than she has when she won against her mother. She scrunched her face up in pain, hand squeezing Jinsoul's tight.

"I'm so scared, Jinsoul," Jungeun yelps out. She can barely see anymore, knowing she's seconds away from what she doesn't want to admit to herself. She swallows the lump in her throat, so terrified and so lost. "Please— ple-please don't leave me..." she choked out through her tears. Jinsoul could barely notice the tears pooling down her own face, not when all her focus was on the girl in front of her, too scared to die. She wanted to hold her tight, to tell her everything will be okay once it's over with, but she can't. She can only cry with Jungeun.

Jungeun's quiet for a moment, the only noise from her being her ragged breaths. Then, she looked over at Jinsoul with whatever vision she had left, the girl standing close to her, still glowing and beautiful as ever. She slid her fingertips along Jinsoul's arm until her body refused to move anymore. She groaned in pain, her arm falling limp and hitting her mattress, no longer cooperating. Jungeun tried so hard to comfort Jinsoul. She didn't want her to cry like she was. Harder than she's ever seen her cry before. But she can't. She could barely move, and it made her feel even worse. She didn't want to say goodbye just yet. But it hurt so bad. It hurt so, so bad. She had to let go. She couldn't handle it anymore.

"I'm so— oh, god, Jinsoul— please don't be mad at me, I-I can't... I don't..." her voice broke, now she could only sob brokenly. Jinsoul grabbed hard on Jungeun's shirt, digging her nails into the fabric. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. She shouldn't be dying. It should be Jinsoul. She was the one who was supposed to die. But Jinsoul could never save Jungeun, she realized. Jungeun would always be one step ahead of her. She can almost hear the way she'd say "I pledged my protection to you, Princess," if she had heard that thought. She lowered her head until it rested gently on Jungeun's chest, listening to her slowing heartbeats.

"I'm so proud of you, Jungeun," Jinsoul admitted. "Thank you so so much. I love you so much." She closed her eyes tight, hoping to wake up from this terrible nightmare. But she knew that for Jungeun to reach her most beautiful dream imaginable, Jinsoul would have to suffer through this shattering, devastating one. She only ever wanted the best for Jungeun. She could hear how Jungeun's heart quickened just for a fraction of a second when she said she loved her, then going back to slowing. She dug her face into Jungeun's shirt. She couldn't handle it. She wasn't strong enough without Jungeun.

"I meant what I said earlier..." Jinsoul began, lifting her head to see Jungeun's struggling face. She was still fighting it. Trying to work her way through it, for Jinsoul. Jinsoul smoothed her hand over Jungeun's face, smiling when she leaned just a tad into her touch. Or maybe she imagined it. Her breathing was becoming less steady. Jinsoul didn't have enough time to say everything she wanted to say.

"I love you, my brave knight. But I need you to be happy... I need you to let yourself find heaven, okay?" Jinsoul smiled lovingly even when she couldn't see Jungeun anymore through her tears. Jungeun hummed her confirmation, Jinsoul could feel the vibrations on her bottom of her palm. Jinsoul used her free hand to wipe at her tears, looking at her knight, her friend— her lover, finally give in and close her eyes. Jinsoul pecked a sweet kiss onto Jungeun's cheek when her head lolled to one side. Her hand retracted from Jungeun's face in order to steady herself, making sure she didn't fall over because she felt like she might pass out.

"You're... the best thing that's ever happened to me," Jinsoul finished, watching the corners of Jungeun's mouth twitch up the slightest bit at that; and that was all Jinsoul needed. And it was all Jungeun needed, too. All she wanted, before she could only see darkness— and then, it was images of her and Jinsoul, through the years, staring at each other the same way they do now, with only love in their eyes. She couldn't feel anything now, but she imagined that Jinsoul would be hugging her, kissing her, telling her again and again how much she loves her. It was all she wanted. This might not have been the way Jungeun planned to go out, but she hopes that Jinsoul can see that she died fulfilling the first thing she's ever promised to her: that it was her safety over Jungeun's, and it was okay to die for her. It was better to die for her than for anyone else. She loved Jinsoul so much. It was Jungeun's last thought before she couldn't think anymore.

Jinsoul held onto Jungeun's body tight, constricting her body with her hold, head on her chest again, but this time hearing no heartbeat. She sighed shakily through her nose. She still loved Jungeun. She's certain that she'll never, ever stop loving her. She kissed every inch of Jungeun's visible skin before falling asleep in her limp hold.

When she woke up, Jungeun's body was removed from the bed. She was alone. She stared blankly at the bed indented in front of her, the shape of Jungeun's body still there on the sheets. She slid a hand down the sheets, closing her eyes and wishing she was still there. Still alive, to laugh and smile with and to playfully push her shoulder when she says some stupid flirty thing that makes Jinsoul's heart race.

She could barely find room to breathe through her screams and cries. She dug her head into the pillow Jungeun used and prayed that she could die right now. Wished to be reunited with Jungeun up in the clouds. She couldn't remember getting up from that position until late at night, when she woke up from a sleep she didn't know she took, and moved to look out the window.

She tilted her head up, staring at the stars. It was the only thing they had in common now. She knew she couldn't find closure, but the least she could do was find comfort. And that came with watching the gentle twinkling of the stars, remembering how much it meant to her and Jungeun before. Jinsoul knew, somehow, that Jungeun was there in the sky, telling her she still loves her. Jinsoul giggled, thinking about how much warmer her heart felt when Jungeun could say it herself. But this was good too... Jinsoul was content with this. To watch the stars each night, staring up at them and grinning whenever she filed through her sweetest memories, all with Jungeun.

"I still love you," Jinsoul muttered through a smile on the hundredth night since her death. She pressed her head against Jungeun's pillow again, just like every night, and stared up at the stars. "And I know you love me, too." She buried her nose into Jungeun's pillow. She was getting married off tomorrow. She wasn't supposed to love Jungeun anymore. But it was so, so difficult to stop, when every night she lit the stars up in the sky just for Jinsoul. Made her days and nights brighter because she wanted her happy. She wished she was still there, that it wasn't just the pillow Jinsoul was holding close to her. But it wasn't, and that can't change. She let one silent tear fall into the still sweet-smelling pillow before falling asleep again, hoping like every other night that she wouldn't have to wake up and face another day without the woman she loved.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry  
> also sorry if things don't add up i didn't feel like editing this lmao


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